The experience of a few bites of quality, real authentic food is enough to fill me up because it does not define me entirely. I am more than the meals I consume yet the meals I consume are who I become.

I have been pondering.    My new philosophical approach ( because I have to over analyze everything) to nutrition is to enjoy food. Sound simplistic?  After experimenting with low fat, low carb, no fat, no carb, no sugar, high fat, vegetarian, vegan, raw, combining, Medifast, Jenny Craig and semi-fasting I have come to the conclusion and I am reading literature to support my intuitive sense that I just need to eat no additives, no artificial anything and no fake processed junk and I will be just fine. Easy?

No. Try to find what we take for granted and disguise as food or know is junk and eat anyway.  KISS. Keep it simple sister.

I’m staying away from man-made faux food and eating what had parents or came from the earth not a factory. To validate me, I am reading The Perfect Ten and The French Don’t Diet Plan. Check it out.

I am convinced that obesity, autism, allergies and many diseases are environmental and my food choices matter and our food supply is impacted.

I am not the perfect hippie or hipster but I have a strong streak of anti-establishment, anti-big brother government, anti-pharmacy, anti-insurance etc (need I go on?) because it plays on your fears not your sense of compassion, humanness or connectedness.

In order to do my part, I can make a difference by spending my money (read The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist) on organic ( which was regular food before WWII and chemical companies -like Dupont-didn’t know what to do with their warfare after it ended so they sold it to farmers as pesticides which in turn killed beneficial insects and natural predators as well as bugs and disease-upsetting the biological equilibrium)  food.

From my research I have learned enough about how greed has ruined our food supply on so many levels (meat industrialization, fish farming, mono-culture, GMO’s and on and on…) and I just want to get back to basics.

It’s the least I can do and I am truly sorry I haven’t always raised my kids properly nourished. I was overwhelmed, under informed and too easily swayed. HFCS, hydrogenated fats and artificial coloring are in all sorts of child like  “friendly” forms.  Forgive me.

Please take accountability for your own health.

There’s something in the air in Berkeley that makes me want to change the world!  Or at the very least-speak my truth, let you know what’s really on my mind and practice being a better earthling by taking responsibility for my own actions and choosing those actions wisely.

I have one whole day to walk around Berkeley, relax, eat, take in sights, read and lounge all by myself. It’s raining now so I am in my cozy, free wi-fi room tapping on my I-pad ( much more travel friendlier and lighter than my laptop ).

I therapeutically already told three people ( that’s the magic number ) and wrote about my Southwest ordeal yesterday so I will spare you details but needless to say I felt helpless and out of control. Then I ventured the BART system with my saavy, techie freshwoman/child and arrived with nerve endings splitting, thankful to be on terra firma.  Dinner and some movie/nail polishing time with my youngest and then a good four hours rest.

After being told I wasn’t needed anymore at the orientation line full of teens doing the wave, I headed over to the free speech movement cafe for a cup of fair traded java. Then I picked up some mom and dad pride filled t shirts and had a delicious lunch in my Durant hotel restaurant.  Macaroni and cheese with three different cheeses: cheddar, jack and mascarpone in a red chili flaked sauce with organic chicken and organic veggies.

I love Berkeley.

I am a nervous, anxiety-ridden flyer and although I love to be somewhere else in less time than it takes to watch a movie, I still kind of freak every time.  I have tons of tools and just packing is fuelled with decisions, doubts and drama.  What’s the weather like? What colors should I wear so that I only need to bring one pair of shoes, make-up and jewelry? What am I going to be doing at any given time? Do I need a sweater, sneakers or SPF?  Electronica? Books? Umbrella? You get the crazy in my head.  And…. I actually have a list!

Just as long as we are safe, I will be fine.  Breathe.  Meditate.  Write.  Reading trash can sometimes pass the time and other times, praying is my only solace.  The more I travel, the more paraphernalia I need with me to cover all my bases.

The serenity prayer holds the truth.  Bottom line, I am not in charge.  Self –centered fear is really the bane of my existence.

Berkeley here we come!

What a crazy day/week.

I have one daughter interning in LA this summer.  Needed to find her an apartment, get her new glasses and clothes, then drive back to LA to sign the lease then return to move in all weekend.

Other daughter is graduating High School.  Senior projects, field trips, permission slips and special nights of awards, dinners, etc… PLUS, book flight, freshman orientation and hotel for Berkeley for the two of us, late June.

In the next few weeks, book annual checkups and teeth cleanings for both college bound offspring.  Graduation, baccalaureate, dinner at Medallion Awards, parties and eventually,  breathe.

My mom came back from Argentina after visiting for two months and I still haven’t had a chance to catch up in person, yet.  I have candy and chocolate gifts that hopefully will keep and won’t melt or be eaten by the time I get over there to pick them up.

I just feel a little flustered.   Everyone else seems to be taking it all in stride but for some reason I feel as if I just drank ten cups of coffee (and incidentally, I am down to anywhere from half to one cup only).

Mixed in of course is the emotion of it all coming to a head and the baby is graduating and soon flying away and my NY daughter is now going to live all alone in LA (which for some reason is more intimidating than the Big Apple to me).

I think it’s time for some tools from my anxiety bag of tricks.  Meditation, breathing, affirmations, exercise, music and quiet time alone are my instant prescriptions.  And, of course, writing it all out.  Welcome to my nerve wracked, self – induced apprehension blitzkrieg.  Ahhhhh.  This too shall pass.  All will be well.  Inhale, Exhale, slow and deliberately.

That was three hours ago.  I feel much calmer.  I practiced some of my interventions on myself and am much relieved.  I took care of the most immediate “to do” listings and am planning on a visit to my mom in a few minutes.  I do not do well under stress.  That is plain to me.  I give myself the ulcer. Every item on my agenda is nothing but enjoyable next to the hassles my wonderful husband lives through every day, just to make sure we are comfortable.  Here’s to my loving, adorable and unfortunately ‘under the weather’ husband.  Happy Anniversary Eve! Twenty four years tomorrow of pure bliss. 

Dani had a way of coaxing a life story out of anyone.  People felt at ease and relaxed in her presence.  Her amiable countenance felt open, cordial and they always let down their guard and effortlessly chatted while selecting their chocolates.  She knew most customers by name and warmly welcomed them whenever she worked the front of the house.

By the time Dani filled the rather large box meticulously with handmade confections, she had learned the young man’s name, whereabouts he resided, what he did for a living and some idea about his relationship with his mother.

Nicholas lived in the stylish North Berkeley neighborhood. He was staying at his family homestead while he spoke and gave lectures for the Archeological Department at the University.  He had just come back from a dig and a long furlough in Pompeii, Italy.  He was writing his first book on his findings and conclusions.

“I’m sure you have tried all the chocolates.  What’s your favorite, Dani?”  He inquired.  He had four spots left to fill and peeked at her nameplate pinned to her pastel, aqua smock.

She didn’t hesitate.  “Oh, I have tried everything, indeed and my top favorites have to be the Coconut Macadamia squares and the Hot Chili Pepper with Lime.”  Clients always wanted to know what her favorite morsel was and the question was common.  She never wavered and knew the answer by heart.

“Ok.  I’ll take your word for it and try them.  They sound intriguing, not too safe, but possibly delicious.  I’ll take two of each, please.”

Dani smiled pleasingly.  She liked a man who tried new things and braved the unknown with such assurance.  She asked politely.  “Is there anything else, Nicholas?”

“Yes.”  He coughed and put his right fist up to his lips.  “ I was just wondering if you were available anytime this weekend for a cup of coffee or tea or whatever?” he stammered out rather awkwardly.  “I’m sure you have plans, just throwing it out there.  Are you?  Available?”