Y4 – Day 111 – Triple Ones

Whenever I see the same number in triplet, I know an angel is watching over me and sending me love and approval or guidance.

Whenever I find a penny on the floor or street, I know it is a nod from someone in heaven. When it’s a dime, I know it’s my friend R because we talked about that before she passed, how I would distinguish her from others. The other day, the last time I saw her exactly three years ago, I found two dimes and thanked her. Two days later, exactly three years ago, was her last day in her body.

Whenever I say something, just to be sure I am not jinxing myself, I knock on wood, using my head if no wood is to be found.

My favorite numbers are 2, 5 and 10 but sometimes 3 too. Whenever I wash dishes by hand, I lather up two, five or ten items at a time, then rinse and dry.

I probably come with more idiosyncrasies and superstitions than most people but it keeps it interesting.

Y4 – Day 110 – Life

“LIFE IS GOOD BECAUSE LIFE IS” – CBS aka me

After watching The Revenant, I thought about life and how it all seems like a crapshoot.

I am grateful to be alive and have such abundant blessings. My children, my spouse, my lifestyle, my location, my retirement, my hobbies, my spirituality, my peeps, my interests, my comfort, my nation and my ability to think, feel, speak, smell, hear and taste, how my body is beautiful in its own way, how I am exploring and sharing in groups and new classes, how I grow and change into acceptance, forgiveness and compassion, how I learn and teach… I could go on forever, I believe.

There is so much to be grateful for.

 

Y4 – Day 109 – Gardens

Everybody has their own type and speciality of garden they are especially drawn to.

Vegetable gardening can be as different from a flower garden as night and day. And, so are the practitioners.

An English formal garden is pruned and stately, yet, an English cottage garden spreads, cascades, reseeds and is never trimmed, just deadheaded of spent flowers and divided up  of crowded bulbs.

There are succulent landscapes we add to a xeriscape.

There are shade gardens that rely on moisture and dampness.

There are decorative flowers for show and bouquets and then there are edible flower plots, grown solely for their taste, having the strictest of requirements for organic culture.

Which reminds us, there are organic, small farms and the complete opposite – the harmful reality of commercial, government subsidized, fungicide and pesticide laden ones.

Some of your neighbors may be using Round-Up this weekend instead of pulling out weeds by hand. You can kill weeds between cracks in cement with hot boiling water and a dash of vinegar, there is no need to use chemicals dumped on our society purely for profit without a wit of thought to anyone’s health or the future of our planet.

There are gardens set up, grown, established and maintained to attract and invite butterflies or birds. There are deer and rabbit resistant gardens to ward off pests and keep nature away.

If you are an avid gardener, you may have many types of areas for every interest.

In my own backyard, I have rose, succulent, flower and vegetable/herb gardens.

Every cook or foodie with a decent palate craves a kitchen garden at their fingertips. You can distinguish freshly picked, a moment ago, homegrown from trucked in grocery store produce if you take a simple taste test.

Otherwise, why would you pluck tomato caterpillars and slugs off your nightshade plants, hand water your thirsty herbs during a hot spell and hand pollinate your squash and cucumbers to ensure fruit?

Which, by the way, we get a hoot calling that in particular chore, hand delivering pollen from stamens to receptive stigmas, “sex in the garden”.

Y4 – Day 108 – Why do I write? – Part 2

There is a part of me that believes I have something to say. Maybe, something of importance or relevance to help others via my own experiences and observations of life up till now.

There’s a side of me that wants a legacy left so I am not forgotten.

I want to write about how I feel colors, hear smells and how the crashing of ocean waves astound me.

It’s as though I need to write about and share my soul.

Y4 – Day 107- Why do I Write?

Good Question

Part of me is selfish and needs to express herself, hoping upon hope it will reach another human being and connect to their core.

But just as self-centered is the need to find out who I am and as I unfold on the page, I reveal hidden or unsaid parts and unfurl my soul.

I must believe that somehow this will all be very interesting or important or sweet or something to someone out there – OR I wouldn’t bother posting it.

Y4 – Day 104 – Worthiness

If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy. – Kristen Chenoweth.

You are worthy. If you are alive, you are here for a reason. I totally believe that.

So, do yourself a favor and breathe, know you are worthy of whatever you were told you are not, know you are loved probably by at least one person in this world and if any doors or windows are closing right now, it’s probably for your best interest and you won’t realize it till you connect the dots in the future.

The only person’s approval you really need is your own and I would like to add that, that being said, it is nice to get support from people you respect. So, don’t give away the control of your emotions to another person.

You have to do what feels best and the right thing for you because you are worthy of love, respect and encouragement.

No matter what has happened to you before, you can turn yourself around and believe you are worthy, today. Kick that habit, pick yourself off the floor or stick to a dream you feel you must pursue because you are intrinsically valuable. Be vigilant, honest and positive and you will succeed.

The answer has always been within you and you have always known it, so grab it and insist on speaking well of yourself inside your head.

As we grow to love ourselves more and truly take care of ourselves we cannot even live any other way but being true to ourselves with integrity.

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. – Lao Tzu

 

 

 

Y4 – Day 103 – Remodel Insight

In a sort of slow hum way, this blog keeps me honest.

The evolution of self: you molt, unravel truths and unfold anew. Meanwhile, you shed old skin, stale ideas and narrow perspectives, making new and wiser choices.

It is clear – it is an inside job – even if all you superficially see is the transformed person, already changed.

Last year was a time of loss, grief, retrospection, taking stock and creating new beginnings, new habits, new priorities and committing to a new understanding of self.

Letting my ego get out of the way allowed me to really focus on what is right here, right now, needing my attention. My home needed maintenance, love, care and fresh life. My home reflects how I am feeling and doing. And to a certain extent, who I am, what I like and how much I love myself.

The greatest insight was loving myself enough to know I am worthy of all that I have been blessed with, acknowledging all that I have accomplished and envisioning all I can still do or be.

I invested in re-inventing, re-decorating, re-purposing, re-evaluating and re-designing our space to fit our needs. And, as a result, I renewed, re-habilitated and re-invigorated myself.

I cleaned house literally and figuratively.

Assess, delete, define, add and edit it.

Five steps to decorating. Five steps to writing. Five steps to transformation.

 

Y4 – Day 102 – Beauty

I want to live in beauty this year. That’s my theme.

I want to breathe, eat, see, be and smell, feel and create BEAUTY.

I seek validation and deeper connection to my spirit and to whatever are the powers that be.

Instead of saying I am overwhelmed, I affirm:

I am invigorated by the tasks ahead.

I see everything around me in a fresh new light and perspective.

I see challenges as opportunities.

Here’s a little Purple Rain-

I believe the Universe guides me throughout the day.

This I know – we all want to better ourselves and our lives.

Some look within and some look without. Some take responsibility for their own actions and some would rather remain victims of circumstance.

Every survival, rags to riches and coming of age story is about taking your own inventory and then finding a solution by taking action, finding solution or failing and trying again and again.

I am dedicated to being the best version of myself. Sometimes, I fail miserably and I know it. Sometimes, I could have, should have done better and someone lets me in on that piece of info. Instead of taking it like criticism or personally, I could take it like feedback. But at first, it usually stings and then I get over myself and realize it was helpful.

Just when I think I am feeling kind of down in the dumps, an incident will occur or a reminder to self happens and I realize how beautiful LIFE is!

RIP Prince. 🙁