day 170 – Mourning


Recovery Meditations ~ Spiritual Recovery ~ One Day at a Time ~ April 30, 2013
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One Day at a Time
April 30, 2013~ SPIRITUAL RECOVERY ~

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There is a time to let things happen
and a time to make things happen.

Hugh Prather

For me, it is a time to let things happen, right now.  I go with the flow.  I feel like a white foam bubble on the ocean, a leaf sailing down a stream, a snowflake descending from the cloud or a dewdrop evaporating on a blade of grass.

It’s a time of reflection, retrospection and release.  I am confused, perplexed and unsure.  So, I will take this time to let chips fall where they may and rest.  There will be a time to make things happen again.  The ebb and flow as we proceed through this life has its own musical score to perform and who am I to complain, be combatant or try to change it?

There are so many questions and I am not sure I want to hear the answers.

day 169 – What does Namaste mean?

Namaste (pronounced (nah-mah-stay), the closing at the end of yoga practice, is a sign of respect and devotion to the divine light in each and every one of us as well as the acknowledgement of our own spiritual light.  It basically translates to – “I honor the divine light that shines in me and I bow to the divine light that shines in you”.

Although it originated and can be traced back to an epic poem from ancient India, more than 2 or 3 thousand years ago, it is still used today to greet or bid someone farewell.

Bringing your hands in front of your heart in prayer position or Anjali Mudra ( hand gesture), we bow our heads and speak “Namaste” to the group as a way to unite the class and to close the yoga practice.

I honor the place in you that is the same in me.  I honor the place in you where the whole universe resides.  I honor the place in you of love, of light, of peace and of truth.  I honor the place in you that is the same in me.  There is but one. Namaste – Anonymous

Namaste, my friends, Cecilia


day 168 – My friend R

My friend, R, passed away today.

She was a spiritual force.

A friend, a confidant and a giver of wise counsel.

She encouraged, supported and actively played a role in certain endeavors I undertook.

The last time I saw her well was when I finally decided to check out Unity Church for a service and she didn’t hesitate to take me there and back.

Another time, I needed her to meet me unexpectedly somewhere and she was waiting for me with her warm, happy smile.

At the hospital, she asked about my children, each one, my husband, myself and a few of our friends.  Her conversation was profound, immediate and generous.  She cut to the chase once she was informed all was well.

She greeted me always as if I was the only person she was there for or had a desire to see.

And I will miss that.  I will miss her chuckle.  I will miss her fidgeting.  I will miss her honesty and eloquence.

I will keep her in my heart and memory.

May she be at peace.

day 167 – Balance

Balance is about creating breathing room between activities.  Creating Space into our daily routine.  It is about silence and commotion-about yin/yang – about fire and water – about earth and sky – the feminine and the masculine- left/right – up/down – east/west, north/south – hot and cold.

And in that center fulcrum lies the heart, the middle ground – the soul which is home, where everything radiates out of and enters into.  Radiating forth and inhaling energy in.

Such is the pulse and the balance we seek in Life.  This balance creates bliss and peace.  How can you become more moderate in your measures today, this week?  In your flow throughout the upcoming month of May?

Delete activity and add repose, meditation and silence


day 166 – Pondering

Who’s to say that if a lowly, crawling caterpillar metamorphosizes into a visually beautiful, gliding being – the same isn’t true of us, humans?

Perhaps our journey from the lowly, crawling/walking human form cocoons in death and morphs into an astral, gliding, winged being called – an angel?

Just wondering, as my friend lies waiting in agony for her bell to toll.

day 165 – Releasing Tension

This is what I need to remember NOW! My own words – 

Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply and exhale slowly, three times.  Check for tension in your body you habitually hold on to.  Check your mental clarity and your mind’s noise level.  When the mind wanders it’s usually meandering through thoughts of the past or strolling into the future.   Your brain’s job is to think.  So, gently guide it back to the present.

It’s at this point, this moment in time, when you will find mental stillness.  It’s the willingness to just be.  In this state of openness, you can start to have a relaxed and unobstructed mind, you can begin to develop a wider, more expansive understanding of yourself, a deeper acceptance of yourself- and in time, expand and generously gift this quality as you share or interact with others.

A conscious tending to your well being rather than striving for perfection is being in the now.  Acknowledge and accept that you already began at perfection.

As you breathe mindfully, feel and appreciate any sensation that comes up physically or emotionally.  Allow it to just be.  Breathe it, explore it.  There is no demanding need to change it.  Just sense it.

Release through the inner body and begin to feel your core essence.

Now, literally, concentrate on the core of your torso.  Experience the beautiful alignment of your spine, from the base of the tailbone, up through the solar plexus and up to the pulse of your heart.  Open and soften your throat by releasing the tongue.  Bring your attention up through the nasal passages, behind the eyes and up through the crown of your head.

Invite oxygen to lift the chest and visualize each vertebrae moving away from the last, making space for the nervous system to release tension.  And say, Ahhhhh.

day 164 – Fresh Start

Fresh Start

We continually find ourselves at new beginnings.

Our path holds fresh, new experiences of learning, growth and wisdom.

Take your awareness to an unfamiliar level of consciousness – the spiritual journey.

Make plans to always have a positive impact on your surroundings and all the people you encounter.

Each day, we find uncharted potential in the unexplored course that lies before us – after all, we have never been here before.

But recall the benefits of the passages we have traveled through thus far.

Our bodies, minds and souls emerge from early morning meditation – cleansed and rejuvenated.


day 163 – A tribute to my friend – a guided meditation for all

Meditation through the woods

Imagine yourself in a clearing at the edge of a dense and jade colored forest.  You come to a clear, wide path.  At your back, the sun warmly encourages and nudges you to step inward.  A cool, pleasant and inviting breeze beckons you to embark on a trail into the woods.  You enter.  Step in.

The path is broad and littered with leaves and twigs. Pinecones of every sort and size are scattered, here and there.  The sunlight-dappled canopy reassures and lightens your stride.  As you take each step, each footfall crunches and crackles the forest debris underfoot.

Encouraged by the sweet and crisp song of countless birds, insects and wildlife…you go deeper still.  Continue on your route.

The teeny, tiny bell shaped bluebells among the moss, lining the border and the pure, fresh scent of pine needles greet and welcome you to continue gently on…with mindful awareness of all of your surroundings.  Notice the variety and different dimensions of green, olive, brown, bright Kelley green, light shiny yellow, green and golden pastels and grey-white greens.  The earthy smell of forest hummus, mushrooms and young growth fills your nostrils and soothes all your senses.  You are becoming acutely aware of life, the breath of life and the stirrings, within.

As you walk along, you find a bowl on the trail.  It can be a wooden or bamboo bowl.  Perhaps, it is earthenware, made of heavy clay soil or it is woven, made from twine.  Pick up the bowl.

You travel the twists and turns of your trajectory and you notice a particularly radiant and attractive leaf.  Pick up the leaf.  Turn the leaf over and observe its veins and patterns like you are a botanist observing a fine specimen.

You decide to assign it some trouble or problem you are experiencing or mulling over.  Place it in your special nature bowl.

You come upon another striking and interesting leaf and pick it up.  Give this leaf the name of a person you are having a difficult relationship with, worry over or feel needs special attention.   Lay it inside your bowl with care.

Pick up another leaf that speaks to you and entrust all your anxiety and concerns right into its veins and surface.

Release the power that fear has held over you and feel the tension drain away from you, releasing it into the leaf.

As you continue, on your own, gather as many leaves as you need to and allocate each of them, your frustration, pain, anger, jealousy and any other negative, exhausting energy you are still holding onto.  Put them all into your bowl.

Begin to hear the trickling of water.  Move towards the rippling melody till you arrive at the top of a gently cascading waterfall that spills over into a rocky stream that empties out into a large, deep bluish aqua lake.

As you stare in wonder at the exquisite beauty and magnificence of this majestic scene unfolding in front of you, you feel compelled and know deep in you heart of hearts that this body of water is here to heal you and empower you.

Toss each of your symbolic leaves, one by one or all at once, into the running water.  Surrender your issues, bothersome circumstances, judgments and unloving thoughts into the pool of the waterfall scene and into the stream of life.  Watch the leaves as they swim and float or sink, lifelessly and carelessly.  Allow them to exit your consciousness.  Let them go.  Let each thought float away and empty into the vast depth of the water’s center.

Let go of all the leaves, all the stuff, all the behaviors, all the perceptions and all the presumed hurts we hold onto.  Let go of all that doesn’t serve you anymore.

Let go of the grasping, the holding on to Ego and make new room into your space.  Clear out and cleanse, release and breathe.

Delight in the sweet liberation and celebrate, breathe.

Place your empty bowl by the edge of the stony brook.  Turn away.  You notice a massive, dark grey boulder near you and feel the need to rest and restore.  Make your way towards the gigantic rock and lay comfortably on top of it.  The expansive face of slab supports your back and body and its smooth surface feels warm, vibrating its ancient wisdom.  The stone conveys it’s vital, solid, heavy and grounding force to you.  You feel one with mother earth.

It is now, nightfall, the stars have just begun to light the atmosphere.  The moon reflects onto the still, now indigo blue mirror of the lake water.  The sky sparkles with astral illumination, against a lapis lazuli canvas.

You feel relieved, comforted, deeply relaxed and at ease.  Your breath is slow, profound and has a restful quality to it.  With every inhalation, you feel cleansed and inspired by the heavens.  With every exhalation, you sink deeper into an enjoyable and grateful surrender.  You plunge deeper into the health giving and supportive earth as you aspire to reach the shining night.

Your body is in tune with the rhythm of every breath.  Your breath sways, rises and recedes with the respiration of the Universe.  You hear the sound, the hum and buzz of the word AUM or OM, the sound of life and eternity.

And…. It starts to softly drizzle with miniature warm raindrops, caressing your body and tapping you pleasantly awake, mellow as one who was just touched by a celestial ethereal being.

Namaste, my friend, namaste.

day 162 – Spring Recipe

In honor of Spring here is a recipe that tastes as good blended and frozen or freshly made or kept at room temperature for a few hours (letting all the juices and flavors meld).

4 cups strawberries, hulled and cut up into bite-sized pieces

6 tablespoons crystallized/candied ginger, diced

1/3 cup fresh mint leaves, chopped

Optional: A sprinkle of very good Balsamic Vinegar( at least 15 years old)

Just toss the ingredients together and refrigerate for up to 2 days.

Serves 4 and only contains 65 calories/serving

The Best Way to Predict Your Future is to Create It. – Anonymous

day 161 – JSA

I spent the weekend at the Spring State event for Junior Statesmen of America.  This was my fourth and final Spring State.  I have attended two or three Fall States.  Both my daughters were Chapter Presidents for their school.

This organization is student run and is a series of debates all weekend long.  Each block of time accommodates around eight debates you can choose to be a part of or witness and there were eight blocks total from Friday night to Sunday afternoon.

For Southern California and our region, Fall State is held in Costa Mesa.  Spring State is held every April at the LAX Hilton Hotel.  Every chapter needs an adult to drive them there and chaperone, monitor hallways, dances and general supervision.  I have been that mom and proud of it.  I didn’t come by it honestly.  The teacher advisor didn’t show up one spring and we were called back to LA after just dropping our group off, past my bedtime, to just attend as a stand in teacher/advisor, so the poor kids could get their room keys and stay.  I remember not being too gallant about it but I did it.  And then, it was just expected.

These young attendees (900 this time from all over Southern California) are political activists.  The mission is to strengthen our democracy by educating the youth.  Debates ranged from PC’s vs. Macs to the effects of online learning to drone warfare to the American education system to nuclear weapons to liberalizing immigration quotas to stricter government regulations for corporations to US International involvement to modern day feminism to religion vs. science – to name a few.

They also hold elections, quiz bowls, talent shows, forums and dances.  The Hilton Hotel was buzzing with professional looking teenagers with respectful attitudes towards all.  It was and is a sight to see.  The boys look handsome in their suits and ties and leather shoes.  The girls look sophisticated in their dresses, skirts and pumps.  The entire event is a huge undertaking and the high schoolers take over conference rooms, lobbies, cafes and over ten floors.

Goodbye, JSA.

Goodbye Destination Imagination, T-ball, Soccer, Softball, Horseback Riding, Tennis, Science Olympiads, Music lessons, Proms, Math Olympics, Science Fairs, Open Houses, Back to School Nights, Art Masters, Reading Groups, Dance lessons and recitals, spelling bees, plays, band concerts, wrestling, cross country running, summer nature camps, driving to schools and all events, carpooling, making lunches, volunteering, PTA, teacher- parent meetings, award assemblies, emergency trips to lockers for forgotten homework or objects or money and goodbye to the high energy of late night/all weekend long studying for AP exams.

Did I forget anything kids?  I am sure I have.

Soon, it will be the end of an era.  This weekend marked the beginning of the end of our last child’s High School Senior year.  I am ready because I am exhausted.  Time to rest.  But I don’t regret one minute of the investment I have made to improve our world’s future because our young adults are our legacy.  May they create something uniquely theirs for generations to come.