I remember growing up on the beaches of Long Island and time stopped as I idly played in the sun – sand pebbles, hot between my toes. The shore lapping. Time was still. Joy was mine.  The smell of sultry, humid heat peppered with salty seaweed baking on the beach.  The warming of the tasty, briny, mineral rich water.  Seagulls squawking.  Horseshoe crabs landing on the shore, fiddler crabs popping out of holes in the wet shoreline sand.  The grasses and reeds brushing, rustling their bristles as the summer breeze wafted through.  Little undetermined yet audible animals scurrying amongst the brush on the dunes by the worn redwood fences…..and I wake up and with a startle I remember and realize  – time is just a blip – but it is a continuum always.

 Pictures taken on October 12, 2011 on the Long Island North Shore/The Sound

There are 3 exceptional credos I try to live by.

The first one is actually three questions you ask yourself before speaking.  I first heard it from a spiritual and tender-hearted Vietnam Vet, Ed, who passed away not too long ago.  I latched on to its meaning, simplicity and usefulness, right away, making it a mantra around my house.  But be careful to practice what you preach, as I have learned in my own home.  I have had plenty of precepts thrown back in my face.  Your children will delight in reminding you of a rule or belief you have enforced, once they are teenagers. They keep us on our toes.

1. Before you begin to speak, respond, etc.  Ask yourself these three questions.  Only proceed if you can answer YES to all three.

a)  Is what I am about to say true?

b) Is it kind?

c) Is it necessary?

The same week I first heard this, I read it later in Ann Landers or Dear Abby.  I don’t recall which.  Coincidence or a God shot?

The second maxim is a quote my friend Joe used to hear all the time from a wise woman he worked with.

Lower your expectations of others and Improve your own performance

Amazingly, I have fewer resentments when I remember this one.  I also become accountable for my own actions, tone of voice and judgmental thoughts.

And thirdly, a mom (Bridget) who used to live in our town whom has since moved away, told me her midwest bred mom frequently pounded into her and her sisters’ heads –

“It’s nice to be important – but it’s more important to be nice.”

When I start to feel like I am all that and a bag of potato chips, I kinda have to recall this grounding and humble quote.  

I would much rather recognize these principles working in my interactions and daily round than be reprimanded for not having observed them.  It’s just too embarrassing.

ZEN – a Japanese word for the Sanskrit word dhyana wherein Enlightenment is sought through introspection and intuition

Mysticism – a belief in the possibility of attaining direct union with a Higher Source or Knowledge of spiritual truths, as by meditation

The Spiritual Journey – the seeking – the path to Self – the inner life

Some books are Sacred and some authors can help and guide or just validate and communicate with us via their words.

Twenty Five Good Books that have literally changed my Life/Direction/Understanding:

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

The Four Agreements: A Toltec Wisdom Book – A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat – Zinn

There’s a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne Dyer

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron

Pocketful of Miracles: Prayers, Meditations, and Affirmations to Nurture Your Spirit Every Day of the Year by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach

The Tao of Abundance:Eight Ancient Principles for Abundant Living by Laurence G. Boldt

Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life by M.J. Ryan

Love is Letting Go of Fear  by Gerald Jampowlsky, MD

The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck, MD

Words of Courage and Confidence by Sue Patton Thoele

To Love is to Be Happy With by Barry Neil Kaufman

The Soul of Money:Reclaiming the Wealth of Our Inner Resources by Lynne Twist

A Return to Love:Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson

The Velveteen Principles: A Guide to Becoming Real – Hidden Wisdom from a Children’s Classic by Toni Raiten-D’Antonio

The Little Prince by Antoine St. Exupery

Spiritual Fitness: How to Live in Truth and Trust by Caroline Reynolds

The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hanh

Conversations with God: an Uncommon Dialogue by Neale Donald Walsch

Gracious Living in a New World: Finding Joy in Changing Times by Alexandra Stoddard

Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue, Stress and Fear into Vibrance, Strength and Love by Judith Orloff, MD

The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach, Ph.D.

Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend

I recommend anything written by these authors (in fact I like to read everything written by an author once I love them) but these are my special favorites.  I could give you a story behind each book and how and when it changed my life. The staying power is being able to re-read it and still find more.  I highlight, dog-ear and flag my books.  They are meant to be cherished, read thoroughly and to be referred back to.  Reading books about the Spiritual adventure of our Mortal lives and how to co-exist, co-create and co-mingle with ourselves and others is of great importance to me.  The contemplation has aided me in rough times, confirmed me in easy times and assured me always, whatever the weather in my life.  I have been given solace, guidance and light by reading.

I hope you give something you have not read before a chance from this list and I would love to hear your understanding on any book, these on this list or otherwise.

Other notable authors on my shelves in this genre that are worth mentioning:

Caroline Myss, Deepak Chopra, Jack Kornfield, Shakti Gawain, Diane Dreher, Gail Sher, Melody Beattie, Karen Casey, and Amy Dean

Where is your time going to?  How do you spend your time? Where would you love it to go?

Well, of course, spending time with family is clearly the first answer but then there is some purpose, some drive to create that may be buried or not so buried in you.

I am feeling the need to write, the desire for the space and the time to write these days.

The image of me resting comfortably, fully engrossed in my writing/reading/editing/working/pen scribbling – ideas floating – catching them and placing them on paper everywhere, all over every surface, as quickly as possible – ahhh, I see it now – I’m on my balcony or in the treehouse.

What’s your Pleasure?

Entirely engaged in my work, like a meditation, a rewarding and productive prayer.

Where does this all lead? What’s the purpose?

It guides me to answers, to rewards unfathomable to others perhaps, to a deeper sense of fulfillment and intention.  Recounting history, acknowledgment of a life – of all our lives, of our past and how we have come to this place – an understanding of where I am at right now, at this very moment and a record of my existence  – of your existence.  And, a deep relaxation, contemplation – a tranquil, serene moment with self, with memory, with the word  – so many ways to explain, to share and to ease the path for another or just to entertain.

Oh – but to say something dear and to relish in the flow and to bathe in the deliciousness of certain words, said in certain ways – sparking, initiating fire in someone else’s psyche.  Someone else to relate to, to connect to, “I am not alone”, “I matter”, to be able to scream it, dream it, live this – that’s what the image of me happily engrossed writing bestows upon me.  I am filling a need for me – I am filling a need or a void for you – I am healing, you are healing.  I am understanding and then you understand too.  I release the inhibition, the proud ego lets go – and I am one with and then you see it too.  You grasp it as well.  And there is a connection, a feeling of all is not lost or meaningless, actually – all is well.  There is a higher or a deeper place – that answers all, knows all and it is quite simple; it’s the common ground, the fear, the love, the search for truth and meaning and no one has the answer but it’s similar, it’s just up ahead, I can almost touch it and it’s there – just one more word, one more breath and I am closer, closer still.

And so we evolve – all of the human race, each time we understand ourselves a little more and grow and push through.  We each have enthusiasm for something that just won’t let go of our hearts.  It comes in so many forms.  It can change, too.  It can morph.  I do not want to leave this earth with regret.

I am fully engrossed in my writing, here on my balcony, typing this, now, as I type…..I let it go now….I press publish.

Today, before two of our young adults go back to their respective far away places, we put up the Christmas Tree, encircled it with 800 white lights, listened to Christmas music and hung up our personal, family and new ornaments for 2012.

Every year, I purchase one or two ornaments for each offspring, my spouse and myself.  Clearly labeled is your name and the year.  This year, I went a bit wackadoodle and purchased – let’s say many – decorations for each of my children to fasten onto the tree. Plus, each significant other received a personalized adornment.  Eventually, as each progeny builds their own nest, the idea is that they will get to take their wares with them (over my dead body probably).

Perhaps, upon realizing next year we will become empty nesters, I bought Michael and I two ornaments of two birds alone in a nest.  I didn’t realize it at the time of purchase  – just now as I write –  it struck me.  It was pointed out to me (as I spent approximately one half hour doling out this year’s new personalized ornaments)  that we have an inordinate amount of them this year.  Maybe I went a little overboard because I was feeling a bit nostalgic.  That’s ok.  The miracles in my life are my little angels and I am just reminding us all that it’s a wonderful life!

I thought I’d continue the alphabetical countdown to Thanksgiving  – giving thanks.

We left off with F, so I will start with G.  You can change up what you think of to suit your mood or even classify your gratitude into subjects.  Today I was grateful for all the music I got to hear while chauffeuring, picking up and dropping off kids.  Appreciating Music is a world all of its own!

G – I am thankful for the Generosity of spirit that allows an artist to create Greatness

H – I am thankful for Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin and all the Hours Michael and I spent Hearing it Hugging

I – I am thankful for Individual and Independent Idealists

J – I am thankful for Joe Jackson and his Jazzy, swanky, still hip Jamming

K – I am thankful for Kaleidoscopes and Kids and Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven’s Door

L – I am thankful for Love songs, Lifting Lyrics  and Lullabyes

M – I am thankful for Musicals, Mikey and Michael (the original Music Man in this Tiny Dancer’s Mind)

N – I am thankful for musical Notes, Notorious rock stars and New Wave

O – I am thankful for A Night at the Opera by Queen, Outrageous Outfits Onstage and Optimistic electronica

P – I am thankful for Plays, Poets and Punk

Food for thought:  Every time I do this small exercise, I breathe slower and deeper, turn down the judgemental tone and get happy!!  Try it!!