Much of life is about focus and attention.

Know what you want and then acquire the discipline to follow through.

Say what you want to say succinctly.

Do something consistently

and

stay in your own lane.

from book

I accept life with joy and ease.

THINK ACTION: Are you over loaded by caretaking? How can you simplify, delegate or find relief? What do you do to stay in your own lane? How can you show yourself compassion? Make a list of the people or circumstances you are having a difficult time with. What is the most problematic about accepting this person or that situation? Can you see it in a new light? Ask a friend who knows you well to help. 

from book –

We can make our lives a living nightmare or heaven on earth depending on our stance and perspective. It takes courage to thwart resistance from discomfort, and to also, live through it. Yet, when we recognize our true selves – our limits, flaws, frailties AND our gifts – we move forward.  We can then express and release emotion in wondrous, deeper ways.  Unfortunately, unacceptable, undeserved twists of fate and tragedies befall all human beings. No one gets a pass. We accept and enjoy life by yielding to the roller coaster ride. Let go of your expectations. Surely, acknowledging there is never a dull moment keeps it interesting. And, it frees us to welcome surprises that linger and wait just around the corners, descents, climbs and bends of this thrilling trip. 

from book –

Let your scars become lessons. Marinate in sorrow. Then, when prepared, climb your way out. You may end up with scrapes and bruises on your heart or pride, however, open to healing and adapt anew. It’s a process that basically leads the way towards surrender and then, one day you crack a smile. You give in to laughter. You allow humor to ease the heaviness. You break into song. You listen to birds at dawn. You stare at the stars at night. You walk the dog with a new spring in your step and smell the flowers, the fresh air and experience being alive again. Ultimately, we rely on gratitude to support our way to acceptance.

from book –

Preferring not to compromise, many of us run from pain. We succumb to flight or denial when we resist reality. Unless we want to hide under the covers, escape, check out or wither, we have no other choice but to accept circumstances.

Accepting what is occurring does not necessarily mean approving (condoning) of it. But strangely enough it is healthier. Then, the focus becomes transforming our own worry or sympathy into something worthwhile. We take action. For example, we volunteer, donate money, protest, transform our angst into art, fight for causes, start a new venture or go back to school. 

Meanwhile, we listen to our adult children but put duct tape on our mouths so we don’t sound judgmental, authoritarian or critical. Keeping our generational gap thoughts to ourselves is best after a certain age. We hire a caregiver to offset helping our parents. We seek coping mechanisms, skills and solutions to survive. We keep ourselves afloat, applying self-care so when friends, family or society need us, we are there, one hundred percent. For instance, firefighters relax, re-group and socialize outside the station, playing pool, golf or a friendly game of basketball. You can also delete appointments when you get overwhelmed. 

from book

Paralyzed by fear, we are ineffectual, powerless to alter the fate of others. We watch helplessly as our children suffer and our parents age and decline. As we are incapable of reversing time, we are stymied. When our friends and siblings are in trouble, we sense their vulnerability, but remain ineffective without their willingness to ask for help. We prefer to carry the burden for our children, the pain of our parents or the sadness for our peers.

Unfortunately, by emotionally taking on more than we can bear, we become overtaxed, burned out and end up resentful. Knowing what is ours to correct, fix or solve and what is none of our business nor responsibility is the great quandary for every caring, empathetic person. We lose our minds and our health to anxiety as we come to an impasse. Our bodies agonize under the duress of self-induced stress. Natural born caretakers draw boundary lines only after repeated struggles with this predicament.

From upcoming book, Goddess Musings:

June 3 – Acceptance of Life

“If our hearts are ready for anything, we can open to our inevitable losses, and to the depths of our sorrow. We can grieve our lost loves, our lost youth, our lost health, our lost capacities. This is part of our humanness, part of the expression of our love for life.” –  Tara Brach

“There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.” – Tara Brach

The reality that anguish, despair and grief are a part of life, not apart from life and our experiences, may come as a surprise. As intellectual beings, we understand the theory yet, we tend to mask, deny or blind the fear of suffering. And then, when real life hits, knocking at the door unawares, we are challenged to live bravely. We are confronted with living life on life’s terms, not our own, and that creates our dilemma. Our lack of power to make life look right, to soften blows, to stop the bleeding – is what distresses us most.