Y5 – Day 54 – Acceptance Lessons – last page

I flow with life and I am full of grace.

THINK ACTION: Do you sense you live in a quagmire of difficulties or disputes? Have you ever tried on the other person’s proverbial shoes? How does that alter the scenery? Or your stance? Do you think acceptance, is giving in? Think about a grievance you are presently having. Do you have an urge or need to fight it? Because it is dangerous? Or does it just need re-framing? If your point of view is challenged, how do you respond? Can you live with contradictory opinions? Now, imagine coming from the knowledge you are loved beyond time and space. Hold this love inside your bones as it expands your heart. Do you enjoy more compassion in this state? How could this premise of living in unconditional love be useful? Could this awareness turn your life around?

 

Y5 – Day 53 – Acceptance Lessons – cont’d page 4

FROM BOOK-

You deserve to be here. You are a child of Love. You have a right to exist. You are perfect in heaven’s eyes. To keep us humble, we wear the human cloak of imperfection. It is not about thinking less of yourself at all but thinking of yourself, less – in a self-centered manner.

When you look back on your journey and connect the dots, the worst scenarios and most resistant of people have taught you the grandest, deepest lessons. To see the gift in everything takes gratitude. But, first, it takes recognition of the truth. Indeed, acceptance is a mystical compass of how we are living life spiritually as it unfolds and presents itself.

Y5 – Day 52 – Acceptance Lessons – cont’d page 3

Through the years, love and acceptance broke the chain of self-bondage called perfectionism for me. To quote Pulitzer Prize winner Anna Quindlen, “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”  You are pure love, mixed in with human flaws. These shortcomings stem from fear. Fear of following your dreams can make you procrastinate. Fear of not getting what you want can keep you from taking the risk of finding your courage. Fear of losing what you have can force you into greed or isolation. Instead, focus on Divine Love and tell the fear to pack its bags and go away. Fear is an empty pit and love is an open, infinite glow.

Y5 – Day 51 – Acceptance Lessons – cont’d

Furthermore, we find peace of mind in acceptance. Even though acceptance does not mean approval or tolerating unacceptable behavior – it does mean you have to come to terms with a fact, not as you want it, but as it is. It replaces the illusion of control. In essence, an admission we are not in charge of the universe nor does it revolve around us.

For sure, others, not in our particular dilemma, undoubtedly see it clearer than us. Haven’t you in turn solved plenty of headaches for your friends? It is easier to discern what to do when we are not directly involved. For this reason, counseling and therapy services help us.

As an anxious worrier, I concentrated on how to fix other people and the world. A born critic, I wake up negative until I force myself to pray, meditate and affirm a positive outlook. It’s genetic. I come from generations of judgmental, fearful and controlling women, on both sides. Apparently, my primitive female ancestors sat around the village campfire gossiping, complaining and catastrophizing while braiding hair or weaving baskets. Despite my heritage and nature, I now know, the solution lies with me. By placing responsibility on me and what I need to resolve, sort out and re-think, my attitude emerges as an internal barometer of my serenity.

Y5 – Day 50 – Acceptance Lessons

From upcoming Book

 

June 5 – Acceptance Lessons

“It is not God’s will merely that we should be happy, but that we should make ourselves happy.”  – Immanuel Kant

The answer to our problems arise from a spiritual or psychic change in perspective. When I first realized I had a problem with alcohol, I just wanted to moderate. When I couldn’t sustain that – I tried to abstain by using self-help books, online groups and white knuckling. And, finally when all else failed and I was desperate, I walked into the rooms of recovery. I not only admitted out loud to strangers I was an alcoholic with tears welling in my eyes, I accepted I had hit bottom and this was the last option left to me. Gratefully, a door of hope was open and welcoming. No amount of human urging could have made me come to the conclusion I was finished with drinking. I truly believe it was divine intervention and a miracle I went for help. Acceptance needs to be our response to baffling, complex disturbances. We can unravel, untangle, seek results and discover an explanation once we accept the evidence. If we remain offended, repulsed or unsatisfied with a concern or argument, we stay stuck in the condition. Instead of wasting time invested in anger, we could resolve our trials with the mere acceptance of reality. If I had stayed in denial, I wouldn’t be sober today, writing this book.

Y5 – Day 49 – Acceptance of Self

FROM UPCOMING BOOK:

June 2 – Acceptance of Self

“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” –  Brene Brown

 When convinced we are not enough – that we must do, pay or work more to be accepted – we cannot grow into our best selves. If we have abandonment issues, pity parties or any sense of lack, we are not realizing the truth of how loved we are. It requires no special treatment nor awards to trust in our heart of hearts, we are here for a reason. You may cite 1000 reasons why you are not loveable, recount in one hundred ways how awful you are and offer one million excuses for not being adequate. Nevertheless, you are worthy, adored and capable in your Goddess’s eyes. Unconditional love’s light is shining on you today. Do not block the compliments, say ‘thank you’, instead. Notice how receiving praise with sincerity, feels to you.

When I was in college, a roommate encouraged me to volunteer for peer counseling training. At the end of the semester, we each had to sit in a “hot” seat and hear glowing testimonials about ourselves without wincing. We nodded to confirm we heard it and then said ‘thank you’. Listening to tributes and flattery was the hardest thing to swallow for an insecure person with low self-esteem. And to varying degrees, we all had trouble with sincerely acknowledging the adulation but none offering it.

Peer into a mirror today and say ‘I love you’. It is difficult and uncomfortable. But, your sense of worthiness comes from within, not from without. No measure of outward appearances, physical possessions or public accolades can give you what you seek inside. Relationships, investments and material success do not make us content. At least, until we accept and apply unconditional love to ourselves. Comparisons to others, disguises and masks –  hide, confuse and obscure our natural spiritual brilliance. The simple lesson is knowing you are enough. You are worthy of blessings, respect and affection along your self-realization travels. Right where you find yourself, right here in this moment, is always where the perfect self is loved by the Divine.

Welcome and embrace yourself today with all of your personality and body flaws. Practice accepting yourself as the whole package. Of course, we continue tweaking and improving ourselves but let the obsessive ‘perfectionist’ go. Keep telling yourself you are enough. We need to resurrect the ‘me’ inside that came to this earth untethered by criticism and shame. Before she believed in everyone else’s expectations, before she thought misbehavior, making mistakes and misperceptions meant she was an unacceptable miscreant.

In my past, physical abuse, an unhappy, unsafe home with language and cultural barriers were the norm. For too long, I walked through self-doubt and self-loathing. I listened to people willing to support self-flagellation and renounced those who saw the goodness inside. To conquer the damage done, I gravitated towards love. And, if I can connect to that integrity and innocence of self with my background, I have faith you can and will too.

Love involves forgiveness, gratitude and acceptance. Your self-love and acceptance develops into self-esteem. And, although it is not an easy road, this is the solution. Find your crevices of pain and dig out the marrow with a fine dental tool and you will resuscitate the virtue of your soul. Dr. Seuss was a brilliant man who taught me and all three of my children to read. He said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.  Surround yourself with a cheering crowd who want the best for you, who look out for your highest interests, and you can walk this talk, too.

Craving approval from and catering to another’s happiness is not more important than your own admiration, confidence and joy. Outside sources will not fill your well with affirmation. First, it’s an inside job. The rest, if it comes, is icing on the cake.

I trust my inner knowing to lead me to truth, authenticity and acceptance.

THINK ACTION: Are you willing to accept compliments? Your whole self? and Unconditional Love? Do you accept anyone in your life fully even when they annoy or frustrate you? Do you forgive others easily but are hard on yourself? Does your future hold more investigating into this topic? If so, what is your strategy? Who do you listen to? The angel or the devil on your shoulders? How does listening to your inner critic versus your inner child of pure heart feel? When will you release damaging words and people that harm and instead invite willing, positive words and souls into your life with open arms? What do think would happen to you if you believed, loved and accepted yourself, completely and unconditionally? What small action could you take today to steer you in this direction?

 

Y5 – Day 49 – Transformational Activities

No doubt, what we create with tenderness and attention, moves another person to respond to it, often with a rebirth or renewal of their own. Similarly, our need to refine and beautify our surroundings motivates us to transform it.

In essence, whether it be people, places or things – the nurturance and reverence we give, generates new life and depth.  

This morning, I awaken to exude the powerful energy of the sunrise and this evening, I vibrate the subtle hues of the sunset.

THINK ACTION: Journal your thoughts on arts and crafts (or any creative endeavor) you enjoy or would like to participate in. Are there classes or techniques you would like to learn more about?

Is your home a reflection of who you are today? Where and how would you improve your domicile? Is there one small removal, addition or moving of an object in your home you could initiate today?

How do the arts affect you? Do you influence your surroundings or does your dwelling impact your moods? Could it be both? Notice the interplay.

 

Y5 – Day 48 – The Art of Transformation

Transformation applies to all forms in the material world.

Artists paint furniture, walls and canvas with pigment. They use techniques such as weathering, distressing and gilding. In fact, designers profit from upcycling old, beat up, drab furniture into spectacular, re-purposed statement pieces.

Just as important, the composer makes the musical note dance to the ear. Gifted vocalists sweeten the air.

And, the wordsmith shapes mere words into an expression, action or emotional truth. Letters are combined into thoughts, impressions and observations. The writer transports the reader via an ethereal parlance.

The artist’s intimate love story with its subject transfers deep into our cells.

Y5 – Day 47 – Transforming any Home

Straight out of college, I rented and moved into a huge, pre-war, second story apartment in old town Farmingdale, New York. To get to the lodgings, you walked from Main Street through a narrow alley between two tall, brown bricked buildings. After about fifty feet, to the right, stood an entrance. Once you crossed the bottom floor threshold, your nostrils filled with an acrid smell – more pungent than boiled cabbage – that reeked and permeated the walls. Immediately, were a steep stairwell with slanted, broken linoleum steps reached up to the rooms. A 25 watt, bare light bulb dimly lit the landing.

Inside my walk-up, I was powerless to remove ancient wallpaper or eliminate much else. I was, however, allowed to improve or add to the premises, at my expense.

With this in mind, I stenciled red, orange and yellow flower clusters on the claw foot bathtub to match the design and hues of the wallpaper above the white, wooden chair rail. On the twelve-foot-high, tan walls in the common rooms, I stained the raised paneled, plaster millwork in a mahogany hue.

As there was no closet in the walk-through, I created one by sectioning off a three-foot-deep space between two walls with velvet curtains. The makeshift wardrobe was in a small, windowless antechamber of the east-facing back bedroom.

Meanwhile, in the front rooms, the buildings blocked the western sun from fully reaching inside. Yet, a limited and sufficient amount of sunshine dropped in during the afternoon from narrow, floor to ceiling windows. I suspended spider plants from macramé hangers and set iron shelves against the wood sills to hold a jungle of ferns and impatiens.

In light of living in shared dorms for five years, I was euphoric to have a multi-room place to call my own.

I am here to testify that no matter what you call home – big, small, old or new – you can flourish, entertain and be satisfied with enough ingenuity, inspiration and creativity.

Y5 – Day 45 – How to Help with Transformation

Like Cindi and other disenfranchised sentient beings, the common thread of enduring positive change is empathy. Therefore, parents in the classroom, volunteers at animal shelters, helpers in senior centers and various outreach programs – alter people’s lives.

We are the ones whom must transport ourselves, closer to the evolution we want to see, both in and out of ourselves. And, in all our endeavors, it is humbling and good to remember – we are also backed and helped by others.

I believe in myself and am grateful for the people who bolster me along the way.

I intend to pass it on.

THINK ACTION: How have you transformed so far? Who can you seek assistance from in your life now? When has your own personal journey helped others? What was the largest cause of, or factor, in your transformation? Was it love? Need? Passion? Who are the pivotal persons in your own evolution story? How may you assist another using attention and compassion? Where can you pay it forward?