Whatever your interests, it brings you closer to your authentic self. I’m attracted to wildlife and nature; birds, horticulture, water. I’m also partial to the study of stars, the universe and all interpretations of it.

Life is lovely. Life is full. Life is Recovery of the Soul. Life is manifestation of Spirit inside body form. Life is mind over matter. Life is the thought train till the end of time.

Is there an end? On the one hand who wants their life as we know it to end? Perhaps the suffering. The alternative to full stop finite death is Eternity and isn’t that even scarier? No end? If infinity is real then so are endings of some sort or transitions, transformations and reincarnations via our minute cells of intelligence. This is why some of us can deliberately connect with trees, dogs and others on an almost telepathic level.

Synchronicity, Serendipity and Deja Vu are all time travel. Perhaps there are dimensions we are not even aware of as of yet. Whatever the theory and reality, I know in my heart that love is absolute and we are all connected.

Your interests will lead you into a sacred space where time stands still and you’re not sure where you were for a moment. The zone. Next time you find yourself coming out of this dreamy place, wonder and remember.

Cleanse and Release

When we cleanse and release ourselves form the grips of trauma, we purge ourselves of old mind patterns and find freedom of thought as well as the glory that is reconnecting with our true selves.

As I grow in spurts, I learn to fluctuate and tighten, immerse and recede from people and ideas and places. I have zeal and then ennui. I question, revamp and focus with intensity. Then, I drop the motivation as if all the energy has left me dry. Sometimes, I can’t sustain or commit one hundred percent to anything. Certainly not all the time.

My template is to throw myself mercilessly into something, teach it, burn out and then make it my own, intertwining talent with reality, creating something new, unique and adaptive to suit me. That’s been my pattern.

I used to plan with precision. Holidays and fetes at our house were events. I adorn it lightly now and lightly move through the seasons with a dose of nostalgia. I see the impermanence, the wheel, the return and forward motion of it all .

I go from being profound to vain to caring wholeheartedly to nothing and blocking it out.

My reverie is a dream. My revelations mean nothing to anyone unless I share them or write about them. And even then, do you see yourself in my house of mirrors?

Acceptance is the basic tenet of many spiritual paths. And how do I see myself on this journey? Another hobby, another passion and then away I go?

I’m always searching, yet it’s as simple as “there’s no place like home” – all the answers are within. All the explanations and solutions are in The Wizard of OZ, my favorite flick of all time. So, relax and let the wind blow, the sun shine. Hear the birdsong of spring lift your spirits high.

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude… to be able to think out loud and wonder and use my five senses. There’s a miracle around every corner and right under our noses. See, feel, hear, taste, touch and envision it.

The Fontanelle

The anatomical fontanelle is the location of the crown chakra wherein light and messages can be received and transmitted from and to the angelic, heavenly realm or dimension as it were.

When the focus is no longer on ego and body/mind, and instead, you bring about spiritual awakening by seeking and pursuing and practicing placing your attention on the sacred, then… you look for the divine in all of your relationships with everything and everyone.

You start building upon your spiritual musculature and find the sacred in and with people you now know you are connected with, let go of items and toxicity that no longer serves you and clear the way for generosity, service and radical empathy.

More Will Be Revealed

Back in October of 2018 I wrote about the political climate and how uncovered or leaked stories were vehemently denied or twisted. It needed to be set right.

I wrote how otherwise we would be railroaded and obliterated.

Power and Control are not collaboration and has a toxic masculine bent.

Networking, compromise and sharing are Goddess traits. It’s about love not fear and anger.

Then, and now, more has been revealed and there are undeniable treachorous acts that are being finally brought to light and discussed. And denied, doubled down even. We need consequences or this will happen again and again and worse.

I go on to ask my questions about how to climb out of the quagmire; the anxiety, the hailstorm of lies, the blatant hypocrisy worse than any description in Orwell’s 1984.

Is cancel culture the thought police?

I wondered if I could go on.

I wonder still how to be a force for good? How do I express myself in a positive, productive manner?

I felt assaulted, abused, gaslighted, bullied, harassed, put down and lied to incessantly. My trauma and collapse came back in full force on 1/6/20. I was weeping, on the floor, flash backing to Argentina during the Junta takeover and the “desaparecidos”, anyone who spoke of politics, disappearing. I called my EMDR PTSD specialist within minutes, sobbing.

Now in 2023, after COVID, BLM, 100 year storms, quakes, protests and despair, more school shootings…ARGH!!!!

Another day, another harm, where I trudge through fear to get to the other side, where I breathe and calm myself so my anxiety can leave me for awhile. My therapist has passed away and I am not alone in my hopelessness. Yet, I, alone can ask for light to come into the dark. When Our fate is sealed is there any room for humor, inspiration or expectancy?

I refer you back to the sixties. And before that, WW1, the Spanish Flu and WW2 and the depression. And further back even more…always we have created situations and made choices that were abhorrent. It’s the light workers, the seers, the shamans, the spiritually fit that led us out of the dark. I go there now with confidence. I seek to connect. I want divine, unconditional love to inform, transform and reform me.

I am alive and I see miracles all around me. I give thanks. And So It Is.


Awakened by a pack of howling coyotes, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I don’t mind the sound of wildlife outside as long as I am inside (and so are my pets). I ended up drinking coffee at 6 am, awake since 5.

Maybe instead of doing today what I THINK I need to be doing, I just go with the flow. I still do the daily business like walk the dog, eat food and drink water but maybe JUST BE. No other plans or expectations. Maybe, relax and read and work on my puzzle and walk while listening to birdsong. Maybe, just be with self and meditate in silence, practice some gentle yoga stretching and show compassion for self in real ways.

The more I do self-care and intuit my agenda, the more enthusiastic I feel about life. Go figure. A rebel through and through. The more I indulge the more worthy I feel. Many years of structured, restricted and unhealthy habits, the more I need to loosen up.

It’s simple really but not easy.

To find self-esteem I must do esteemable acts. So I encourage myself to think inspirational thoughts and ingest and inhale only healthy brain and body food. This includes what I say to myself and what I do for myself.

I need to be my own success story.


One of my favorite things is to write with my hands around a pen and hear it scrape across the paper. Even gel pens have a sound.

I can’t imagine dipping into an inkwell just as the younger generations can’t imagine hours of practicing cursive. I am glad my kids were exposed to cursive handwriting before it stopped being taught in schools. It will become a lost art just as pretty journals and day planners become an extension of one’s creativity and more like a hobby.

It’s the pull and push of life. The friction and the smooth release. The tension and the languid exhale.

Day Dreaming

I can distinctly remember staring out of schoolroom windows and just drifting, checking out, having to snap myself back into the class when my name was suddenly called or just lured back into reality by a word, a bell, a sound, a gesture, a whisper or a movement as slight as a note being passed.

I’m still fantasizing, imagining and speculating ad nauseam when I journal in the morning. It’s a fact a life for me.

For example, I see a forest of white birches and cedars, blue spruce pines and Japanese maples. I smell the smoke of a wood fire warming a home protected from cool elements. I feel the fresh sting of snappy weather upon the face while wrapped in scarves, mittens and an old ski jacket. I hear the sound of leaves rustling and twigs crunching as tender footed deer step lively and chirpy squirrels scramble up trees. I taste snow on my tongue as it melts in my mouth with that odd metal flavor of icy water.

I think I am missing the mountains. I meant it as a joke that we might have to wait for the spring thaw and I KNEW I should have knocked on wood for I fear this actually might turn out to be true for the mountains are calling but the snow keeps on falling.

Maybe it’s Love

In a group therapy meeting not too long ago, I got to lead the group and had to pick the topic. I decided to pick how to speak of the good side of the people in our lives that we came to fix or have better relationships with instead of the usual venting I was getting bored and frustrated with. I truly believe we can only change ourselves, remove ourselves or alter our perceptions – not others.

Yet, there IS a potent contender that can bring on change and is invisible. It’s called love and I include all its derivatives. Love changes us and “them” and therefore transforms relationships. This is the spiritual side of counseling and life that is sometimes bypassed, mishandled or just plain ignored.

Love filters and spreads and infects us all with empathy. It washes away resentments, forgives human frailty and allows compassion to soften our hearts. It can transform your belief system, release you from victimhood and heal all wounds.

We heal by loving ourselves. We can then see the light of all we are connected with and the spirit within where it is housed. Instead of flaws, we observe twists of fate. With love we open our minds as wide as a sky. Rather than seeing others as having relentless obsessions of the mind, we soothe their anxiety by becoming love, holding sacred space for them to unwind and process fear.

Y6 – Day 12 – Alphabet nights

When I can’t get back to sleep in the middle of the night I run through the alphabet and go through a makeshift gratitude list in my mind’s eye instead of counting lambs hopping over a fence. And mostly it works. I have taken the idea and extended it and even just used acronyms or other themes like naming vegetables in alphabetical order.

Last time I wrote acronyms in my head, I actually wrote them down because I thought I was brilliant in the middle of the night:

ABC – Art Beauty Creativity

DEF – Definite Energy Flow

GHI – Goddess Holds Inspiration

JKL – Joy Kindness Love

MNO – Money Needs Ownership

PQR – Peace Quiet Relax

STU – Stay Tuned Unconditionally

VWXYZ – View the World with Excitement and Youthful Zeal

Try it next time you can’t fall back asleep.

Y6 -Day 11 – Puzzling

For Christmas recently, my friend P sent me a puzzle of baby Yoda in a Santa suit. That got me on a tear and I have since put together many puzzles of 100-750 pieces and been gifted a felt puzzle wooden table that you set up on a slant with 4 drawers to parse out however you want to organize your pieces. I prefer making the frame first and then assign pieces to each drawer according to color.

I have since that day also gifted puzzles and we are sharing them once solved for the next person. One thousand piece puzzles await in a drawer for that day when I feel I have some experience and success behind me.

Meanwhile, so far after around eight completed puzzles, have lost one piece in just two. They are like socks. No one knows what happens to them. They just disappeared.