My friend gifted me a 5 year diary wherein every day you just jot down one sentence that encapsulates your experience of the day. Each entry has a quote and enough lines for five entries, a space to write in the year, alongside it.

I just received it on Friday and I love summarizing at the end of the night, one thought that speaks to me, after reviewing the last 24 hours. It is a great way to also see what and where your priorities are/were for that moment in time.

I keep a daily, morning journal where I write anywhere from one paragraph to three pages, but this is handy and forces me to be a bit more concise.

Maybe, start your own one-liners or check out Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project Journal.

To my younger husband (by six weeks)

Happy Birthday!

You are gorgeous, the best dad and provider ever and the LOVE of my Life!

La Fonda at Avila Beach

August 14, 2015

Are you self absorbed or conscious of others or empathetic with a nice balance of boundaries and selfless service?

Ideally, we are interested in people outside ourselves, are helpful to others and are not inundated by self centered thoughts. In the excellent version of ourselves, we go out of our way to adhere to commitments, accept responsibilities with grace and behave thoughtfully and considerately rather than becoming self indulgent, self pitying or smug and stubborn.

Take a minute today to be open minded and honest. We don’t always like it but it is best to be gracious and generous than judgmental or disrespectful.

Remember, it is progress, not perfection – but stay perceptive, evaluating along the way. Don’t become complacent, cocky or comfortable. Stay aware, consciously, consistently and constantly.

What I have learned by doing a thorough search about my values is that I never considered how coming from two different cultures and languages could give me such a wide understanding of what molds us. Never mind two distinct and opposite coastal areas in this large, expansive United States. Add to that, generational diversity.

It really comes down to your experiences or non-experiences and how you relate to them. You can adopt or even adapt certain values on for size, here and there. For example, I became vegetarian because of the yogic value of ahimsa or compassion for all living things. Then I delved deeper and became vegan and then raw vegan. And back and forth. It is a wide world out there and luckily I can change my mind.

It is also a small world, right here, when you meet up with synchronicity amiable to your values, right under your nose, in your own backyard. When all of a sudden, everyone is starting to ponder what you delved in a decade ago. I can remember when yoga was something only hippies were allowed to enjoy and now every age group has taken at least one class. I recall meditation as “contemplating your navel” like a snarky comment and now the medical profession endorses it.

So you never know. Your values can change, mold and meld with the times as you grow, learn and experience life.

I have also learned you cannot dictate your values. There are a lot of modern situations I am not comfortable with. The pendulum swings though. Everything has a way and means of evolving and change is the only constant.

Here is what I DO know about me. There are four core values I hold very dear; Love, Loyalty, Respect and Compassion. I ABHOR war and I believe PEACE is what we all really want, bottom line – and Fairness too. It is a shame we cannot come to an accord about this all at the same time, let’s say, this instant. It is a disgrace there is so much tolerance for bad behavior.

And, bottom line, at the end of my rant, I have learned you can’t be real strict about your values, you have to learn to adapt and pick your battles.

Hold your head up nobly, not haughtily nor arrogantly.

BE the woman/man you have been searching for all of your life, in all the wrong places (outside self).

Empathize but place boundaries, not walls, between yourself and energy sappers.

The ultimate purpose is to be happy and spread joy, receive love and be love.

The meaning of life is to find freedom from the search for something better, more, in the future because the details are in the now; the moment is the present and therefore the gift.

Find peace through acceptance in whatever circumstance you are in and keep your head while those around you crumble.

To BE the light is to be enlightened.

You will be given all the answers within you, have the patience to wait for it, the acceptance when you receive no reply or whatever the reply may be and the poise to carry out the actions without fear or worry but remain in positive belief with maturity and wisdom. It does come from within and it does take its time.

As adults we have choices, usually three to be exact; to remain the same, to move forward or to react in some way. And our responses can be either childish, unproductive or mature and life affirming. If we remain the same, we become stagnant like water with no where to go and you know what that smells like?  Moving forward usually requires some level of forgiveness or letting go process so it is invariably slow but steady. Without the required marinating, you are just shoveling it under the rug and it will materialize somewhere in your psyche or body as pain. Now that I have thoroughly psychoanalyzed choice, here are the twelve points of maturity according to Al-Anon groups, which are geared to helping you become a healthy adult. Ask yourself the following questions and instead of getting down on yourself for what you still need to work on, I would like you to pat yourself on the back for those you can answer honestly and/or with an adult answer.

1.  Do you have a realistic view of your situation?

2. Do you allow others to live their lives? (I can just hear my children snickering)

3. Do you accept responsibility for yourself?

4. Are you critical of others?

5. Do you weigh out your thoughts and emotions before responding?

6. Do you speak up for yourself?

7. Are you kind to others?

8. Do you have balance in your life?

9. Would you describe yourself as conducting yourself with poise and refinement or behaving like a two year old brat most of the time?

10. Are you willing to look honestly at yourself?

11. Are you willing to change?

12. Do you know how to or to whom to turn to and ask for help?

Step back and wait for your answers or ponder them all week. Really think about them and analyze it. Ideally, meditate, then write your answers down freely.

let me know

Since we bought and covered our pool with a solar cover, our pool is lukewarm like baby’s bathwater. All I need now is Burt’s Bee’s baby shampoo and I am good to go.

There is nothing like taking a nice swim and dip into this huge vat of enveloping liquid warmth to soothe and caress the soul and body.

They say when kids (or adults for that matter) get cranky, stick them into a tepid tub. Do yourself a favor this weekend and relax in some sort of water based goodness.