Where is your time going to? How do you spend your time? Where would you love it to go?
Well, of course, spending time with family is clearly the first answer but then there is some purpose, some drive to create that may be buried or not so buried in you.
I am feeling the need to write, the desire for the space and the time to write these days.
The image of me resting comfortably, fully engrossed in my writing/reading/editing/working/pen scribbling – ideas floating – catching them and placing them on paper everywhere, all over every surface, as quickly as possible – ahhh, I see it now – I’m on my balcony or in the treehouse.
What’s your Pleasure?
Entirely engaged in my work, like a meditation, a rewarding and productive prayer.
Where does this all lead? What’s the purpose?
It guides me to answers, to rewards unfathomable to others perhaps, to a deeper sense of fulfillment and intention. Recounting history, acknowledgment of a life – of all our lives, of our past and how we have come to this place – an understanding of where I am at right now, at this very moment and a record of my existence – of your existence. And, a deep relaxation, contemplation – a tranquil, serene moment with self, with memory, with the word – so many ways to explain, to share and to ease the path for another or just to entertain.
Oh – but to say something dear and to relish in the flow and to bathe in the deliciousness of certain words, said in certain ways – sparking, initiating fire in someone else’s psyche. Someone else to relate to, to connect to, “I am not alone”, “I matter”, to be able to scream it, dream it, live this – that’s what the image of me happily engrossed writing bestows upon me. I am filling a need for me – I am filling a need or a void for you – I am healing, you are healing. I am understanding and then you understand too. I release the inhibition, the proud ego lets go – and I am one with and then you see it too. You grasp it as well. And there is a connection, a feeling of all is not lost or meaningless, actually – all is well. There is a higher or a deeper place – that answers all, knows all and it is quite simple; it’s the common ground, the fear, the love, the search for truth and meaning and no one has the answer but it’s similar, it’s just up ahead, I can almost touch it and it’s there – just one more word, one more breath and I am closer, closer still.
And so we evolve – all of the human race, each time we understand ourselves a little more and grow and push through. We each have enthusiasm for something that just won’t let go of our hearts. It comes in so many forms. It can change, too. It can morph. I do not want to leave this earth with regret.
I am fully engrossed in my writing, here on my balcony, typing this, now, as I type…..I let it go now….I press publish.