day 191 – Clarity

I know I have posted this before, but this meditation I first wrote while teaching healing, restorative yoga is ( I believe) powerful enough to re-live and re-think.

First, close your eyes, breathe deeply into your belly and relax completely.  Read the following, then contemplate with eyes closed.  Have a pen and writing paper nearby to jot down immediately any visions, thoughts or breakthroughs after your meditative state of mind.

 Imagine porcelain egg white gloss or transparent milkiness. Envision in your mind’s eye, the pearly color of goodness, purity, elegance and clarity.

Ask yourself: How does openness feel? What does lucidity look like? Where am I full of grace? When do I acknowledge and/or demonstrate frankness, sincerity and simplicity?

When you experience wholeness… less, is perceived as more and your focus and purpose become clear.

Meditating on pure white light can clarify and enlarge our vision.

Observing our own sense of and acts of virtue and integrity can brighten our aura AND our inner selves. Committing to continual candid self-refection and simultaneously shining pure, clean energy within and without-transforms us; molding us into transparent loving beings, guided by innocent yet infinitely wise intention.

The essence of elegance is knowing your true north and radiating it out with polished individual style.
Flow with grace and purity of form, meditate with white light clarity and relax into the stillness; healing your ivory inner nature.
And may this message and practice essentially bring you to a place of kindness, dignity and reverence for the divine in each and every one of us; all the while protecting ourselves, nursing our own wounds and re- building upon our own basic foundation of character and our brightly envisioned future behavior.

day 190 – Four Recommendations to Remember

There are four attitudes I run through in order to get out of a mental rut or any drama I create between my ears.

1)  Eliminate

2)  Listen

3)  Thanksgiving

4)  Focus

Eliminate – Get rid of guilt.  If I am feeling ashamed, is it legit?  Do I have an amends to make?  Why am I feeling guilty?  Am I beating myself up?

Many times, I acquire the verdict of self-reproach because I don’t understand why someone hurt or dissed me.  I tend to take on the plea of wrongfulness in order to make sense of the situation when in all actuality people come and go and do what they do and it has nothing to do with me.

Thinking I am the center of the Universe has it’s downside.  If someone else behaves or reacts poorly, it’s none of my business.  I just need to keep my side of the street clean.

Listen – Consult your dearest, closest friends and/or family that have your best interest at heart and then attend to their advice, perspective or suggestions with an open heart and mind.  Occasionally, I am so caught up in some emotional turmoil within my own brain that I cannot see the forest for the trees.  Here’s where I need cooler heads to prevail.

I also take criticisms and gentle persuasions better from those I love and trust with all my heart.  Ultimately, I am the one that must think, act or say something differently, with courage and fortitude.  It’s good to be supported, encouraged, validated and in some cases, it’s even more important to be warned or told to put the kibosh on some crazy “Lucy” scheme.

The people who love and respect you will never give you lip service or have their own agendas.  So, I process what I hear when they speak.

Thanksgiving – Make a Gratitude List.  Getting out of my misery is as easy as jotting down five things I am grateful for.

Appreciate how fortunate you really are.   It’s a constant reminder to love where you are planted and where you are in life, right now.  It’s being in the here and now.  It makes you shine into your own inner light and strengthens you from within.

Which naturally leads to #4 – Focus.

Focus – Put your attention on what you can change.  Don’t waste time, energy or breath on anything you can’t control.  For example, the weather or someone else’s response is out of my jurisdiction.

Again, I need to remind myself that I am not the center of the Universe and knowing that, actually, has it’s upside – it means I am not responsible for everything either.

Concentrate on #3 –Being Grateful and Focus #4 on what is working and is good about your life.  This has centered and balanced me out plenty of times.

More often than not, I get to listen to my loved ones in order to remember to give thanks, focus on the positive and remove any guilt complexes I have created.

I read a quote recently from Ralph Waldo Emerson that prompted me to write about the above four pointers and to refresh my own memory –

“Most of the shadows in this life are created by standing in one’s own sunshine.”

 

day 189 – Survival of the Fittest

One of the most profound but deeply simple and revealing understandings I received from Master Gardening was the concept and science that a plant only germinates, sprouts, grows, withstands storms, bounces back after being pelleted by rain, survives the swaying of the wind and basks in the sun in order to do one thing and one thing only:  reproduce.

A plant propagates and multiplies itself by seed from inside a flower or fruit, spores, via runners and roots or bulb cloning. Its sole purpose is to make more of itself.

It made me realize it’s what life is all about, what life does, what nature seeks.  It’s about being the best, strongest or adaptable specimen in order to proliferate and continue evolution.

This blew my mind.  It still does.

 

day 188 – Surprise

I never, ever get tired of planting bulbs and then having them surprise me with a bloom. This is a Tigridia.  I believed it to be a weed till it blossomed. I tend to forget where I place the bulbs from autumn.

It just goes to show me: 1) to not judge a book by its cover, 2) have patience and 3) to pause before I say or do something (like yank a supposed weed out of the ground).

There’s a saying by Eisenhower – “Never pass up the opportunity to keep your mouth shut.”  I need to live by that credo.

So much that comes out of me is uncensored, unfiltered and passes for a slight.  Just think, I’d have less apologizing, less misunderstandings and more serenity if I just paused and reviewed my speech to make sure it matched my intention  – before I spoke.

I actually have been working on this practice but occasionally I get caught off guard and I deeply regret it, just like I would have lamented not waiting to see what happened with this dismal “weed” that turned into a vibrant “swan.”

day 187 – Sustenance

Around certain people, situations or events, I lose my resolve.  My daughter has been home for two and a half days, no two, if I count the actual hours…and I have already gained two pounds.

She is the greatest baker and not too shabby of a cook and a bit of a foodie.  Our conversation always comes right back around to the deliciousness of this or that and how to get the best flavor out of an ingredient or what new technique or gadget works or isn’t worth it, etc.  Books on food, fly between us and the best shows on TV are meal preparation related, according to us.

I have to add that my BFF (ML) is just as possessed and shares all these obsessions with us.  She can tell you exactly what she was eating, how it tasted and what was special or ordinary about the menu –  during pivotal moments in her life.  My daughter and her reminisce at New York City  fine dining establishments together and then I hear all about the food and finery by text or phone later from both.  Their experience feeds me.

Unfortunately for me, between the celebration of her homecoming, her edible delights (so far, a three layer chocolate cake from scratch with chocolate butter frosting and a version of minestrone soup with organic, roasted new potatoes on the side that an Italian grandmother would weep in ecstasy while devouring) and no will power on my part, I feel like I am on an ‘all you can eat, all day and night food fest’ cruise ship and my concerned doctor has ‘ordered’ me to put on a few pounds lest I wither.

Tonight, we will, like every Friday night since the kids were teeny, be going out for ‘family night out’.  We have all agreed on an Argentinian/ Italian/Official Neapolitan Pizza Maker Restaurant sure to urge our eyes to beg for more and to treat our taste buds as if they have never been here before. This is always a challenge for me.  I earned a U for Unsatisfactory in first grade for loss of self-control.  I believe it was for talking but I have never been a “balanced” person.

I usually white knuckle it through the bread basket and deprive myself then proceed to gorge later at home or the next time (because I deserve it since I was so reined in during dinner) or… once in a while I choose my food wisely in order to fit the diet of the month (yes, this has actually happened) only to pat myself on the back and cheat a little (because I conducted myself properly during dinner, don’t you know).  But if you have to analyze the menu and control your choices like a complex calculus equation so much, you know you have an issue with food.

Why can’t I just order whatever I want all the time?

Well, I have tried that, and gained a fast ten pounds in two weeks (no joshing, here).  Then, it takes me five strict months to lose them back.  I know some of you can relate because we whine and complain together at regular intervals.

Basically, I occasionally give myself a pass, spiral out of control, and then trudge my way back to sanity.

I probably shouldn’t ever take any liberties or let myself off the hook, but I am human.

Not only human, but also one with an insatiable appetite for life.  I savor life’s moments and I hunger for more. I desire, create and rejoice with food!  C’mon, doesn’t every culture have it’s own family epicurean gatherings and pride of certain delicacies specific to their region?

Oh well, I will focus and have discipline some other day.  Today, and this visit with my incredible daughter, will be all about relishing relationships, re-uniting with gusto and feasting in the affection as it nourishes us all, around the table, brimming with gourmand goodies.

Day 186 – Disclaimer

For new or returning readers – I know I may get a few more people checking ceciliabsteger.com out since the article I wrote for OC news weekly just came out this morning – so to clarify….

This website is not about Hindu gods, Indian culture or poses –  although I may need to touch upon those subjects from time to time if the mood strikes me.

No dear readers, my website has evolved into a daily life vignette where I sketch in literary form, literally.

Yoga translates to mean union and I interpret Yoga to imply the fusion of mind, body and Spirit. Therefore, I attempt to illustrate daily living and thoughts with my writing and photographs on this page.  I strive to intertwine the emotional, physical and spiritual  through the window of my perception.

If you expected to see my class schedule or my latest theme of the week from my yoga classes, you’re too late.   I am on sabbatical.  Perhaps, indefinitely.

Instead, I give you little glimpses into my world, a walk through my brain, and hopefully something useful or universal that you can relate to as I permit my heart and soul to passionately and liberally pound the keys on the keyboard.

May my disappointments, my travels, my funny mishaps, my recipes, my love and my enthusiasm for life shine through my computer screen to yours.

Namaste.

Day 185 – FEAR

They should have massages on airline flights.  That would alleviate my fear of flying by the very nature of the caring, purring touch of my masseuse and the soothing, tranquil and sleepy spa music being played.

Insects and rodents would need a passport to get into my house in a perfect world.  My daughter E who is afraid of arachnids would make sure no small creature resembling a spider could even get a Visa.

Real Estate and housing would be owned by God or the Earth Society or something, not moguls, so all buildings would be one story and earthquake, fireproof and flood proofed in my imaginary vision of the landscape and culture.

Basically whatever you are afraid of – just dream up what would make that fear go away.  It’s super therapeutic.

IMAGINE, the song, speaks to us because we harbor dread, insecurity and resentment.  IMAGINE, solves those stumbling blocks to happiness by addressing how we could treat each other instead.

So let your imagination take flight and allow it to conquer your anxiety.

Remind me, next time I board a plane.

 

day 183 – Crazy Weekend

First, the complete epitome of gluttonyThe Five Pound Burger at The Catch in Anaheim where most people order fish but we just had to get the novelty meal.

Then, the Senior PromOur last one (unless we have grandkids and are around to see it).

And then the defeatSelanne(assistant captain) and Getzlaf(captain) devastated after Game 7 loss as the reality sets in.

 The grief, the disbelief and the sadness after all the frustration – slowly skating off the ice, heads bowed in unison – with gratitude to loyal Ducks’ fans but completely demolished.

Goodbye Ducks, til next season

Goodbye Teemu Selanne – our favorite Finn