There are four attitudes I run through in order to get out of a mental rut or any drama I create between my ears.

1)  Eliminate

2)  Listen

3)  Thanksgiving

4)  Focus

Eliminate – Get rid of guilt.  If I am feeling ashamed, is it legit?  Do I have an amends to make?  Why am I feeling guilty?  Am I beating myself up?

Many times, I acquire the verdict of self-reproach because I don’t understand why someone hurt or dissed me.  I tend to take on the plea of wrongfulness in order to make sense of the situation when in all actuality people come and go and do what they do and it has nothing to do with me.

Thinking I am the center of the Universe has it’s downside.  If someone else behaves or reacts poorly, it’s none of my business.  I just need to keep my side of the street clean.

Listen – Consult your dearest, closest friends and/or family that have your best interest at heart and then attend to their advice, perspective or suggestions with an open heart and mind.  Occasionally, I am so caught up in some emotional turmoil within my own brain that I cannot see the forest for the trees.  Here’s where I need cooler heads to prevail.

I also take criticisms and gentle persuasions better from those I love and trust with all my heart.  Ultimately, I am the one that must think, act or say something differently, with courage and fortitude.  It’s good to be supported, encouraged, validated and in some cases, it’s even more important to be warned or told to put the kibosh on some crazy “Lucy” scheme.

The people who love and respect you will never give you lip service or have their own agendas.  So, I process what I hear when they speak.

Thanksgiving – Make a Gratitude List.  Getting out of my misery is as easy as jotting down five things I am grateful for.

Appreciate how fortunate you really are.   It’s a constant reminder to love where you are planted and where you are in life, right now.  It’s being in the here and now.  It makes you shine into your own inner light and strengthens you from within.

Which naturally leads to #4 – Focus.

Focus – Put your attention on what you can change.  Don’t waste time, energy or breath on anything you can’t control.  For example, the weather or someone else’s response is out of my jurisdiction.

Again, I need to remind myself that I am not the center of the Universe and knowing that, actually, has it’s upside – it means I am not responsible for everything either.

Concentrate on #3 –Being Grateful and Focus #4 on what is working and is good about your life.  This has centered and balanced me out plenty of times.

More often than not, I get to listen to my loved ones in order to remember to give thanks, focus on the positive and remove any guilt complexes I have created.

I read a quote recently from Ralph Waldo Emerson that prompted me to write about the above four pointers and to refresh my own memory –

“Most of the shadows in this life are created by standing in one’s own sunshine.”