I heard a friend of a friend ask another friend a question last night.  I decided to ask myself the same question this morning while journaling.

“ What will it take for you to like yourself today?”

1. Following through on at least a few of my ‘key’ maintenance/worldly matters.  Taking care of business.
2. Being kind, pleasant and loving to all I meet – or at least, cordial.
3. Stay out of attachment to anyone else’s opinions, responses or attitudes.  Just be helpful, supportive and objective.
4. Be compassionate to self.  Pamper with comfortable clothes, healthy food choices and some sort of body movement – even if I am limited by time commitments or weather conditions.
5. Be emotionally generous, honest and present with others.

This is my personal truth today.  It might change tomorrow or it might be tweaked here and there.  It seems like a personal basic standard to live by for me.

Now – Ask yourself the same question.  You could write about it after pondering or meditating on it.  You could think about it all day, several times, stopping to re-ask it to yourself and then jotting down any insights.

I encourage you to take the question seriously and add it to your daily/weekly gratitude list.  If you are not writing down what you are grateful for as a ritual, perhaps now is a good time to start.

I suggest you get any lined blank notebook and begin journaling on a consistent basis what you are thankful for.  List five (5) things you appreciate daily/weekly and then add one thing you have done for yourself.

In addition, you can ask yourself the question of the day, add affirmations to your particular situation or note any and all accomplishments – just note it.

One day, when you are not feeling well, reading over your journal will lift you.

When you are ready to change and grow, commence a program of recording your gratitude, acknowledging your needs and how you take care of them.  Chronicle your actions, attitudes and gifts that enhance how you feel about yourself, your life, others and by default, how you attend to everything.

This practice is a simple, concrete way you can change and improve your life and outlook.  You will learn much, guaranteed.

What will it take for you to like yourself today?

Weather update:

Fires, overturned semis, uprooted trees and debris due to the winds had me canceling/rescheduling all plans and staying home.  I am grateful I have options today.This is what I saw today in a parking lot.  Notice the pine tree branch forefront and center.  There were pieces of every kind of tree everywhere.  Palms, pines, eucalyptus, etc..  People’s garbage cans have tipped and trash is scattered all over.  This tree was completely uprooted and had fallen on the car.  The amount of damage is rising, the air is unbreathable and it is best to stay safely indoors.  I am grateful I am safe (so far).

Back east, I hear there are terrible floods and rainstorms.  Be safe.

Do you ever get the feeling that you have said too much or not enough?  Do you ever feel lightheaded or out of control?  Do you ever wonder why you cannot shake an unsettling thought off or ask yourself where it even came from?

It came from the winds.

The Santa Ana winds make me crazy.  For some people, they kick up their allergies.  For others, they worsen their asthma or other respiratory ailments.  The dry heat picking up debris, swirling and circulating, evoking dust to rise causes people to itch their eyes, need tons of water and scratch their skin until they bleed.  It is hot and the air feels thin, like there is no oxygen.

For me, the winds make me want to pull my hair out!

There is something about the warm winds that must date back to the Sahara or Gobi arid climates.  They say that for eons there exists a certain insanity that the dehydrating winds bring upon desert dwellers. And I somehow relate to the depressing, sinking, total lunacy they provoke.

I was fine listening to the howling, hot, blowing air knocking everything over, clanging my wind chimes – until I got outside.  Then, I mysteriously felt like I could not breathe, an unknown source of panic enveloped me and I dove down low into an unwarranted despair.

I was first introduced to this weather phenomenon my first year here in sunny Southern California.  No one ever talks about the winds until they are here and certainly not to anyone out of state.  I was unprepared.

They affect everyone differently but they have an effect on everyone.

And, it is never pleasant.

But then I re-group and remember how nothing outside of me can dictate my happiness, my resoluteness to be love and joy.

I take Cindi out for a walk again later and she does not like it but I am ok.  I am amused by the wind.  I decide I can go with the flow of it, the heat bouncing off all surfaces, encircling me like fire.  I do not get discouraged.  I release pre-judgment about how it has always been, allow the moment, my dog, and myself, to just be, right here and there and now.

Funny how re-framing a situation or letting it go, uncomplicates things.

I was just texting someone near and dear yesterday, “drama causes crazy and negative feelings cause a loss of energy. “

Perhaps the wind carries many positive ions, which are known to lower your energy levels and depress your mood. Ironic how it is positive ions that create negative reactions and emitting negative ions (waterfalls and pine forests) that send you to a happy place.  Perhaps the dramatic change in the weather brings wild, frenzied emotions to surface.  Whatever the reasons and outcomes… this too shall pass is always a good thought, especially as I sit here with my pages “blowing in the wind.”

Being filled with doubt and worry is detrimental to your health.  Doubt has to do with wanting something to go your way and worry has to do with how you want something to go.  Doubt is about not having faith and worry is about being afraid to have faith.

When something does not go my way, I doubt myself.  When I am entrenched on the way something is supposed to look like or hooked into the outcome, I worry.  It is a vicious, unhappy and crazy cycle of doom and gloom.

The more out of control I feel because of a lack of self discipline, the more I delude myself into thinking I can control others.  I need to remind myself to keep my side of the street clean and I am not the ringleader of the Universe.  Which reminds me of my friend’s saying, ” It is not my monkey, it is not my circus. ”  But I do believe that “to think globally you have to act locally”, which I saw as a bumper sticker today.

Be the change you want to see in the world – Ghandi

When I let go of outcome, the reward is always an unexpected surprise.  For example, when people tell you about a movie and how great it is and you expect to be mesmerized and then undoubtedly you are let down by the reality.  Whereas when you ask people not to tell you or you don’t read the reviews and judge the movie without any previous judgments, you will be objective and occasionally, pleasantly entertained or inspired.

By having patience, checking my motives, becoming fully aware of my intentions and what is behind every fear I have, I can understand my doubt and get beyond my worry.

Watching last night’s boxing matches, ate all my calories due me by 9 am and we are resting with all pets till Game 6 of Round One hockey Ducks playoffs.  We must win tonight so we don’t replay last year’s disappointing outcome.

Keith Thurman vs. Julio Diaz headlined at the StubHub Center in Dominguez Hills, CA (ending in a capitulation due to a rib injury from Diaz) but the fight of the year was the second pair of boxers – a brutal, bloody match between Jose Molina of LA and Lucas Matthysse of Argentina.  The South American won after going down twice early in the confrontation.  Needless to say it was a comeback and Molina ending up being knocked down twice himself later before succombing at last to the Gaucho’s fistful of punishment.

Brunch was take out from Green Door Cafe.  A vegan breakfast sausage with peppers, potatoes and onions whole wheat burrito smothered in country gravy that tasted beyond my expectations and better, less greasy and ultimately healthier (certainly for the pig) than any pork product.  Also, Roasted Cauliflower with Tangy Buffalo Sauce and creamy vegan bleu cheese dip and an array of Vegan Desserts (my favorite was the banana walnut oatmeal rounded treats).

Red Velvet soft and warm cookie with coffee glaze, Kale Nut Muffin with Orange Icing, Orange Pumpkin Scone with Vanilla Sugarcoated Topping and Banana Walnut Oatmeal Coconut Small Round Bites.

Discipline

It takes self-esteem to have self-discipline.  When I act ‘as if’ I can do whatever it is, I demand control and willingness from myself.  The practice of putting myself through the paces in turn gives me back a dose of self-esteem.  Great cycle.

Everything I do with love and passion turns out informing and enlightening me.

Sometimes discipline comes from a place of fear and it always translates to beating yourself up not knowing when or how to stop, blind to balance and instilling severe self-hatred.   You might still achieve the results desired but your journey will be less than happy or rational.  I personally like to learn my lessons (especially given to myself) in an easier, softer manner.  Life already comes with sometimes hard, severe or unwelcome punches. Why would I criticize, anger or belittle myself with self-talk or self-flagellation?   Why would I provoke or promote that?

It is much better, healthier and wiser to come from a place of love.  The satisfaction, the rewards of self-approval and the prudence of attaining self-discipline through awareness, love and right action can only be measured by the equal self-confidence, common sense and sanity that becomes you.  Therefore, motivate yourself with a loving drive, a fitful, assured intent to attain your highest goals conscious of your attitude.  Support your own self and keep a crowd of pleasant, encouraging people to be your cheerleaders.  Be mindful and be complete and whole as you achieve your dreams.

“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to It.” – Buddha

Speak to me of what I know in my heart, dear Creative Intelligence.  Express it through me simply, beautifully and intelligibly.  I want to beam and be love.  When love is my focus, my life runs smoother and I am happier. 

“Go do the right thing.” As Dr. Laura suggests.  And remember, a suggestion is a subtle command.

Balance

My goal is balance and that is where my serenity lies.  To be in equilibrium within and with my world is my rightful destiny.

It is not how much you do, produce or accomplish, it is whom you are when you do, produce or accomplish it that is valuable.

Pausing and reflecting gives me an opportunity to find my balance, my center, the core of my being.

I am a feather floating through time and space.  My feather is the pen of my soul.

Between cooking, growing and harvesting herbs, making cosmetics, soaps and sprays with essential oils, I believe I must have been a potions maker, alchemist, herbalist or chemist in my past life.  The above four essential oils are a must have in my daily round and I highly recommend them.

Orange oil smells likes highly concentrated fresh squeezed orange juice and is a delicious addition to your homemade eco-friendly all- purpose cleaner (2-3 drops of dish soap, 1/4 white vinegar for every cup of water mixed into a spray bottle).  Just add 10 – 20 drops.  It also deters termites (injected into wood around your home) and ants in any crevices.

Peppermint is my favorite for foot spray.  Mix 5 – 10 drops into a small travel sized spritzer (easy find at Target). It is a spicy, tingly antiseptic and keeps your feet fresh. Spray it in the air to keep you awake.  A drop or two in water relieves bloating.

Cedarwood essential oil smells like a cedar lined closet.  Add it to mineral or lemon oil and spread on waxed wood to give it a clean wood scent. Scrub your wood clean first with a sponge and dish soap or Murphy’s oil soap, then drying the wood well before buffing it with lemon or scented mineral oil.  It works on hardwood floors, cabinets, banisters, bookshelves, etc.  It makes a fine base for homemade perfume giving it a musky forest foundation to any mixture you create. It is a true insect repellent.  Use it in candle making or burn it over low flame in the summer on the patio to keep mosquitos away.

And excuse my disclosure here but Lemongrass is the prime ingredient in the famous Pooh-Pooh sprays used to safely eliminate odors in the toilet area.  It is also an organic form of pesticide and preserves ancient manuscripts made of palm leaves inhibiting decay.  It is an all around sweet smelling addition to any homemade all-purpose cleaner, home/body or foot spray.

This is just a sampling of what you can do with these four essential oils and I encourage you to explore the world of aromatherapy.  It is a ‘green’ way to clean, disinfect, spruce up and enhance your home life.

“Health is the greatest gift,

contentment the greatest wealth,

faithfulness the best relationship.”

Buddah

Forgiving – Unconditional acceptance of another or situation is the gift you give to another through for giveness.  The giving therefore is always to one.  The love you give to another is also to oneself.

To forgive is to connect to the other’s spirit, to look past their form or mistake or personality and straight into their soul.  Forgiving and letting go is the bridge to the Universal Source.  If our only purpose is to heal, comfort or bless one another, then love has no limits.

Forgiveness is for you but this does not mean you forget and allow abuse or unpleasantness to continue.  Acceptance does not mean approval of certain unwanted, unwarranted or ugly behavior. It just means you remember to be in gratitude for your own progress past transgressions.  Be your authentic self by ending your own internal sickness and let the healing begin with you.

Own your perfect wholeness.

When we put ourselves down or beat ourselves up the outcome is usually depression or anxiety.  Your role on this planet is essential.  It is to see past your flaws your ego has convinced you we are riddled with and instead own your great spiritual power.  On a practical level, this translates as being as loving, kind or just cordial as possible to all.  It means you follow your bliss.  It means you are willing to forgive – especially yourself.  It means experiencing love, joy, happiness and peace.  And you cannot live in intimate joy with Spirit if you have grievances.

Divine Love cradles me.  I am willing to learn today.  I am willing to be ready to listen to love’s pure heart.  I am willing to be able to do love’s true work by forgiving with a gentle tone full of compassion.

Forgiveness is vital to everyone’s wellbeing.  Yield to the healing influence of forgiveness but do not disregard wrongdoing.

I feel Divine Love coursing through my veins and pass it on.  I know the outcome is none of my business or I may never know the result of the love filled extension I give but I want to and deserve to be happy, joyous and free.

I am but the instrument that love flows through.  And I release myself from the illusion of guilt.

“For the Japanese, bonsai signifies the strong ancient beliefs between man, the soul and nature.” – Calyx flowers

In the past, Bonsai plants were only for the elite. Taking care of a Bonsai is a steady, slow and meticulous process.  Nowadays, there are many shrubs, plants and trees grown specifically for this hobby and classes on pruning and training abound.

“Patience is the companion of wisdom.”
Saint Augustine

This is an elephant foot or ponytail palm bonsai (Beaucarnea recurvata).  It is native to Mexico.  It is renown for its bottle shaped trunk and ribboned leaves.  If I plant this baby outside, it can grow to sixteen feet and flower with buttercream blossomed clusters of stalks.

April brings spring and summer lilies.  Green Goddess calla lilies (Zantedeschia aethiopica) are simply green all the way through their stems and trumpet shaped blooms.  It is native to South Africa.  The blossoms are wavy and furled like flags and have mottled creamy throats.  

“Consider the lilies of the field how they grow;….” – the Bible