My friend prompted me to check out a Checklist for Emotional Maturity circulating among people in the Recovery world, be it Al-Anon, AA, OA, etc..  I found it interesting and alarming to say the least.  I am apparently still quite childish.  Thank Goddess, I am a work in progress. And, I hope to be inspired this evening when I attend Wayne Dyer’s PBS taping and listen to his words of wisdom.  I once heard that being in relationship with another is like sprinkling Miracle Glo on you own character flaws.  Any hermit can get along with himself but throw another personality into a group and the dynamics change.  I concede I have much more work to do on myself but a few of these points below are no longer at the forefront (although alive and well).  I also heard when you get cocky or complacent, you need to reevaluate yourself.  Hope this clarifies your self-diagnosis as to where you are on your way to becoming your best self and answers the question of “what do I want to be when I grow up?”

Checklist for Emotional Maturity

The difficulties of coping with another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults.

A mature adult is one who:

1) Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.

2) Knows self-pity is futile and childish– a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.

3) Does not readily experience a loss of temper or “fly off the handle” about trifles.

4) Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.

5) Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go wrong.

6) Accepts reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that some adjustment for the convenience of others is necessary.

7) Is a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper.

8) Does not worry unduly about things that can’t be changed.

9) Doesn’t boast or “show off” when praised or complimented, accepts it with grace, appreciation and without false modesty.

10) Applauds others’ achievements with sincere goodwill.

11) Rejoices in the good fortune and success of others, having outgrown petty jealousy and envy.

12) Listens courteously to the opinions of others even when they hold opposing views; does not enter into hostile argument.

13) Doesn’t find fault with “every little thing” or criticize people who do things differently.

14) Makes reasonable plans and tries to carry them out in an orderly fashion; does not do things on the spur of the moment without due consideration.

15) Shows spiritual maturity by-

• accepting the existence of a Higher Power and recognizing the importance of this power in life.
• realizing each person is a part of mankind as a whole and has much to give: that each of us has an obligation to share with others the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.
• obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “

I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY THOUGHTS. 

Whatever you think of me is none of my business but how I respond and what I think of you IS my business.  And, if I come from a place of knowing whatever I think of you and how I treat you is how I think of myself and treat myself, then I need to tread lightly, attentively and lovingly. I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY THOUGHTS. 

Whatever you think of me is none of my business but how I respond and what I think of you IS my business.  And, if I come from a place of knowing whatever I think of you and how I treat you is how I think of myself and treat myself, then I need to tread lightly, attentively and lovingly.  I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY THOUGHTS.

I am the projector of the world I see.  I decide and I choose how I see you. 

This truth is the same for everyone.

We are only here for love.

Here are two popular items – needless to say, I had a chicken caesar salad.  This had my daughter E’s name written all over it.  A hot dog with macaroni and cheese, bacon and salt and vinegar chips.

Helmet Nachos

Yes, that’s right.  A helmet full of warm tortilla chips dripping with nacho cheese and beef and bean chili with a side of jalapeños.  There was a long line for these in a not so crowded stadium before the game even started.

It’s always a good time for a silly picture!

Last game of the season for us today.

I have been taught that instead of saying I have to do this or that, change it to I get to do this or that.  This brings in a sense of gratitude for doing anything and everything.  A victim has to do something as if tortured.  A healthy person gets to do something as if blessed.

I have learned that in place of I should…, I replace it with I choose to…This keeps the list of tasks down to a guiltless minimum not an overwhelming, heavy load of must do’s.

I have observed that when I say I cannot what I really mean is I will not.  When I pronounce I can’t this or I can’t that what I really mean is I won’t.  This shows my lack of willingness.

Reminder about Consistency

Consistency is key.  Today, I will eat healthfully and only as much as I truly need.  I will exercise and I will rest.  I will be productive and engage positively with others.  I will seek help if needed and give aid when asked.  I will correct what I can fix, clean up or enhance my belongings, my environment and the sanctity of my inner rooms.  I will allow outcomes to be what they may be without my interference, judgment or attachment.  I will release and surrender the results and not whine when it doesn’t come out to my “perfect” specifications or look like my unrealistic fantastical demands in my head.  I will open my arms, mind and heart to ideas, people and circumstances with genuine interest, expectation, enthusiasm and pleasure.  I will succumb to the will of a higher, loving energy and pattern my thoughts, align my intentions and practice by example.

This truth, this path and direction, I need to be reminded of consistently, constantly and continuously in order to be committed to it and allow this process to create my character.  So…

I will make three copies of this and attach it to three index cards.  I will post one on my vanity mirror, keep one in my purse at all times and tape one to my car dash.  Feel free to do the same.

We have a medium to above average steak house nearby called  Prime Cut Cafe in the Century 21 Theatre location.  There are several establishments there and every once in awhile we will dine here.  They have reasonable ($20 – $25) three course dinners Sundays- Thursdays from 4-9:30pm.  We have never taken advantage of it yet because our latest outing was on a Saturday afternoon.  When we have come here with our children, the Fire Roasted Tomato Soup and Fondue are always a must.

Here is what we did have:Fire Roasted Poblano and Corn Guacamole with Crispy Tortilla Chips

Rather than smashing the avocado, it was cut up into medium pieces and the corn was grilled and added a nice sweet touch.Applewood Smoked Bacon Spinach Salad with Heirloom Tomatoes and Avocado

Fettuccini Bolognese – House ground beef, ripe tomatoes, garlic, italian seasonings and au-jus.

This was a very homey dish.  The pasta was freshly prepared and homemade.  The classic addition of carrots, celery and onion chopped small gave it an Italian countryside flair.  It was the best dish at lunch.

Alaskan Cod with Summer Salad and Grilled Asparagus

I wouldn’t order this again because after making Alaskan cod in my own home I realized I just don’t like the texture.  Everything else on the plate was good though.

No dessert for us here, instead we went to Coldstone and took home interesting combinations and add-ins made our way.  I had Cake Batter ice cream and truly I cannot recall what I added in but I ate all of it so it must have been delicious and cooling.

Here are some delicious and quick ideas courtesy of my BFF’s initial inspiration in NY.

Summer Chicken Salad

Combine shredded, cubed or chopped up cooked chicken meat (light or dark or combo) with yogurt and a little coconut milk.  Add dill, cinnamon, curry, salt, chopped pecans, diced celery and halved grapes.

I thought – Add cilantro? Turmeric? Cardamom? Chai spice? Walnuts instead of pecans?

And then, I pondered – how about making homemade olive oil/lemon mayonnaise and adding chopped basil, pine nuts, diced red onion, fresh minced oregano and chopped kalamata olives to the chicken?  A mediterranean spin.  Chopped dates? Tomato?

Basically – protein, fat, fresh herbs, nuts, spice, fruit, crunchy veggies.

Or,  I considered –  a little toasted sesame oil and soy sauce added to yogurt or mayonnaise with shredded cabbage, chopped broccoli, shredded carrot, diced water chestnut, chopped green onions, chopped cashews or peanuts, sesame seeds and cilantro tossed with the chicken for an Asian spin.

Or,  I imagined – sour cream and salsa, chili powder, chipotle sauce, cilantro, green onions, corn, chopped mango, lime juice and avocado for a South of the Border twist.

Any of these additional ingredients could be tossed together to make an interesting salad or filling for a wrap without the chicken, substituting tofu, seitan or beans (garbanzo, black or kidney) for the vegetarian protein. Try to stay organic.  Buen Provecho!