My friend prompted me to check out a Checklist for Emotional Maturity circulating among people in the Recovery world, be it Al-Anon, AA, OA, etc.. I found it interesting and alarming to say the least. I am apparently still quite childish. Thank Goddess, I am a work in progress. And, I hope to be inspired this evening when I attend Wayne Dyer’s PBS taping and listen to his words of wisdom. I once heard that being in relationship with another is like sprinkling Miracle Glo on you own character flaws. Any hermit can get along with himself but throw another personality into a group and the dynamics change. I concede I have much more work to do on myself but a few of these points below are no longer at the forefront (although alive and well). I also heard when you get cocky or complacent, you need to reevaluate yourself. Hope this clarifies your self-diagnosis as to where you are on your way to becoming your best self and answers the question of “what do I want to be when I grow up?”
Checklist for Emotional Maturity
The difficulties of coping with another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults.
A mature adult is one who:
1) Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.
2) Knows self-pity is futile and childish– a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.
3) Does not readily experience a loss of temper or “fly off the handle” about trifles.
4) Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.
5) Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go wrong.
6) Accepts reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that some adjustment for the convenience of others is necessary.
7) Is a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper.
8) Does not worry unduly about things that can’t be changed.
9) Doesn’t boast or “show off” when praised or complimented, accepts it with grace, appreciation and without false modesty.
10) Applauds others’ achievements with sincere goodwill.
11) Rejoices in the good fortune and success of others, having outgrown petty jealousy and envy.
12) Listens courteously to the opinions of others even when they hold opposing views; does not enter into hostile argument.
13) Doesn’t find fault with “every little thing” or criticize people who do things differently.
14) Makes reasonable plans and tries to carry them out in an orderly fashion; does not do things on the spur of the moment without due consideration.
15) Shows spiritual maturity by-
- accepting the existence of a Higher Power and recognizing the importance of this power in life.
- realizing each person is a part of mankind as a whole and has much to give: that each of us has an obligation to share with others the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.
- obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “