Today you are 21 years old.

Twenty one years and eight months ago, I had news you would come to be.  Our gestation period was physically difficult and complicated by horrific, tragic family news. The advent of your birth brought hope, joy and strength to all of us. Your arrival was not exactly as planned but it saved your life.  Gratefully, in womb we had bonded.  Your name was always supposed to be your legacy, but you gave it meaning.

You were a bald, gorgeous and easy baby.  I have never seen or heard of any other infants who rocked and sang themselves to sleep and then awakened themselves up with a smile and a twinkle in their eye.  Everyone admired your disposition.

At five months to the day, you first sat up by yourself.  You cruised and followed your brother like a champion.  You adored your real life ‘Barney’ and Power Ranger partner in crime.   You welcomed your sister with curiosity and openness.  You felt responsible and guided and cared for her.  You showed your reverence and amusement for everything through your lively, personal and unique expression.  You played with cheer, laughing and giggling with heart.

And then you went to school and excelled from day one.  You gave your best effort every day of your life.  Whether you were on soccer or softball, in school or after school, singing or learning or acting, your passion for all of it was clear.  Your determination and dedication sometimes turned into stubborn frustration and you revealed your emotions bluntly, verbalizing and arguing and crying “unfair”.  Your love of all animal life, righteousness, equality and steadfast commitment were established.  Your pulse on justice, history and decorum was astounding.

You were in awe at all you saw and savored life with a maturity beyond your age, with every passing year.  You cared deeply and treated kindly.  You read voraciously.

And now you are 21.

Your hair has grown in beautifully.  Your indignation has bloomed into working for others’ freedom and rights;  legally protesting crimes against humanity and standing up for the wronged, making the world aware of the reparations needed.  Your wonder of the world has turned into an eagerness to be the solution which is the hallmark of great leaders.  You use your developed, natural expressiveness, perseverance and tenacity to influence those about you to better circumstances.  Your kinship and compassion for animals has led you to be ethically vegan.

You are an amazing woman with breathtaking, mature wisdom and a seemingly endless capacity to love, to think, to live, to educate, to write, to inspire, to be thoughtful, to be timely, to empathize, to cook, to be responsible, to bake, to sweeten, to share and to give to this world.  What a gift!

Happy Birthday!

I am so grateful to have been chosen to be your mom.  You have reeducated me. You have supported my every dream with your generous praise, advice, gift of books, writing paraphernalia and thoughtful luxury items. We keep getting to know each other better through the years and you continue to knock my socks off with your beauty, your enthusiasm, your common sense, your depth and your fortitude.

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!

Love you, Mom

PS:  To say I am not impressed and proud of all of my children – is an understatement  – but today it’s about you.

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” – Winston Churchill

“Lower your expectations and improve your own outlook.” – ME

Assumptions lead to resentments.  In Don Miguel Ruiz’s life changing book, The Four Agreements, the third agreement is to not make any assumptions.  You never know what is going on in somebody else’s head, how the mystery before you will unfold, or why you are asked to be in a predicament not of your own choosing.

But what is true is that grievances do not permit you to see clearly or rationally.

When I listen to the news, witness a situation or experience disrespect/disagreement/dissimilarity, I interpret it with my prejudices, background and past experiences.

The wise counsel is to let go of your version of history, release judgments you bring to the table (for whatever reason) and observe anew.  Come to each present moment with fresh eyes, with beginner’s mind.

I am not promoting sacrifice, being an easy victim or not safeguarding yourself with boundaries and precautions. Rather, I am suggesting you open up and be willing to interact, react and view each situation as unique.  Don’t be so predictable.

All the while, be in an elevated mental state that allows you to connect the dots and prioritize according to a larger vision, the big picture.

Discarding previous renderings of what we want, have, expect to see, hear and think – creates limitless abundance in our hearts and minds.

For example, take each step towards a goal as a pristine path with the awareness and faith that it all fits into a grander scheme in your aim and ultimately in your life.

Paradox is a spiritual axiom.

See each moment in your life as an opportunity to grow in love, exhibit love and share the love.  Realize it took much pain, discomfort, disappointment and soul searching to arrive here but that it couldn’t have happened any other way.  That is pure acceptance and sound wisdom.

Now go out there and be the change you want to see in the world as Gandhi said.  By exhibiting yourself as love, you bring peace and joy to every minute of every moment of every day to every one.

  “Experience is not what happens to you.

It is what you do with what happens to you.”

Aldous Huxley

An attitude adjustment is just a shift in perception.

The way you look at something changes form depending on where you are coming from.  Perhaps you have had several phone calls interrupting your work and you are feeling impatient.  Maybe instead, you heard some great news and you are feeling on top of the world.

If you are not feeling comfortable in your own skin, everything will seem drab or wrong and everyone will annoy you.  It’s unpleasant and awkward. Perkiness and cheer will grate your nerves.  The last possible scenario in your head is to be sociable or available.  We isolate.

If you meditate and remember to focus, image and eventually come from a place of love, forgiveness, kindness and goodness, you will see with a new pair of glasses.  The world will seem hopeful, pleasant and agreeable.  You will see life as a flow, a journey where along the way there are lessons and blessings in disguise.

Depending on your mood, your outlook upon anything can be peaceful and serene or chaotic, disruptive, disquieting and restless.

You choose.

Let go of your attachment to being right

 and suddenly your mind is more open.

You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others,

without being crippled by your own judgment.

Ralph Marston

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,

is giving up on being perfect and

beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

Anna Quindlen

I have come to understand that in order for me to be able to write about anything, whether I want to or not, I must experience it first.  Universal lessons are learned via story, repetition and exposure. Most of us want to believe our personal trials are unique, but they resonate with everyone.  Although honesty is essential to communication, the reveal is tinged with vulnerability.  But if you identify with it, then you can heal too. And that completes and gratifies me.

“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life,

that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

 Ralph Waldo Emerson