Meditation was key to the greater acceptance of my humanness by joining my mind, body and spirit to this truth: Here I am on Earth. Now what? Haven’t I been contemplating this all of my life? Don’t we all? Was the very question also the answer?

If I am a mere drop in the ocean, I will adhere to the other drops so we can become a great body of water. This is where I understood service to others, I gained self-respect, I became self-love and started to address my unending desires, incessant grasping and pathetic indifference that caused me no end of self-afflicted torture and delivered no respite from my circular, chaotic thoughts.

There is vitality to meditation that makes it a paradox. Who knew that sitting quietly, going within your layers of reflecting mirrors or doing something monotonous while being mindful and just paying attention, could bring such rewarding energy, such compassion and such clarity?

In the realm of my wide and wonderful imagination, I found the soul’s infinite echo.

As I explore my inner sanctum, I thrive, improve and succeed with a flourish. As I respond after pausing with respect, it naturally follows that I organically behave better and healthier on the outside. As I choose silence over burden or injury, I become the person I have always wanted to be. And, as I become ‘one with’, I fill my destiny with joy.

And so it is.

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live in every experience, painful or joyous, to live in gratitude for every moment, to live abundantly.” – Dorothy Thompson

There have been times in my life when the depression or anxiety was so alive and active, I felt suffocated in my own skin, time and space. Moving, good nutrition and distraction did not alleviate or cure me. What helped me was closing my eyes and NOT running away from being still, breathing in and out with purpose, refreshing my cells and tissues with new oxygen. It was the getting back to basics in silence that snapped me out of it, repeatedly – not the many fangled therapies.

It was slow, arduous and not always improving steps. It was coming back to self, finding the divine and higher self, the person I wanted to be, the person that had what I wanted, needed and craved yet I had rejected – that ended up helping me.

To reconnect with aching body places and feel emotional discomfort gave me hope I would get to the other side of pain. I knew the worry, the anger and the stress was just a symptom of a core belief about myself I had to change. Meditation brought me that solution.

As I grew stronger, I acquired a love for the quiet and rest. No longer were my thoughts random and relentless. I was calmed and subdued by the regimen. It brought me relief from catastrophic and negative thinking. It taught me it was all right to be in the moment no matter how frightening or unbearable it seemed.

Mostly, it brought me back from the living dead. It opened the door to a spiritual self I had no intention of inviting. It liberated my soul. No one was more surprised than myself. Once I was awake, little irritations about myself became known to me. I was amazed to find myself responsible for every consequence of my own actions. I started to manifest a mature look at myself. I no longer could hide. Instead of discarding the new ideas about myself, I delved deeper into the many layers.

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur
 when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.
 For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are 
likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
 – M. Scott Peck


The joy of simple understanding and the knowing I receive from meditating on a daily basis, whether walking, sitting or contemplating a star or flame, is a gift I give to myself.

The freedom and release I bathe in, after repeating a mantra over and over, letting my thoughts pass by via clouds, balloons or bubbles or even following my involuntary breath, is pure satisfaction.

The quantum leap from feeling like a zero to believing I am a precious gem is due in part to my practice. I am loved and cocooned in my own aura. I can change my perception and attitude during the day, because I come back to a realization I found previously in the expanse of my consciousness, during a prior meditative session, perhaps even earlier that week.

My best, authentic self strives to be born. My raw and human failings are turned to lessons as I connect the dots to where I am now, which is exactly where I am supposed to be.

And I accrue all this alchemy, from just a few minutes of my time a day, one day at a time. Yet I endeavor to carry the consciousness with me all day, every day.

I learn discipline. I learn detachment. I learn to nurture and I learn to observe. I learn to balance and I learn to accept.

Solitary moments help me interact with others while joining, observing and relating with others and my surroundings, allows me to be with self.

My goals, decisions and passions become one. I get to lead a centered, devoted and fulfilling existence, when I am in the meditation zone.

Do I remember that when I am on the brink of an emotional breakdown? That is exactly when I need to scurry back to the mat. And then I ask myself, “How dare you leave?” Yes, how dare I leave the awareness and meaning of my very life?

I am beckoned to return to mindfulness or suffer and perish via my own projected experiences I believe I am having.

I meditate to find stillness and peace. Although, many times, I find instead the three stooges. Not Moe, Larry and Curly but instead, resistance, misperception and resentment. I basically suffer through until I am ready to listen. Sometimes, I abandon ship before I feel settled or complete. This is real life after all.

When I have fallen out of meditative or mindful practice, when I have failed to reach that space between the breathing or I have completely forgotten what the intention was – I choose to try again. Persistence is the antidote to my resistance.

When I abandon gratitude and compassion, I am sinking back into my ego. My selfish and mean ego tells me awful, hateful things about myself. Then, in the midst of a meditation, I remember a sense of abundance and a feeling of mercy that washes over me. A reminder of my purpose on this life journey arises and the misperceptions step aside.

When I join and sign up for the suffering, chaos and drama, I lose all grips on reality. I am choked by fear. Then, I return to my breath, I empty my hands and my soul releases expectations, freeing me of resentment.

I allow the obstacles to fall away because I know my enemies now: stubbornness, judgment and anger. Previously stuck to the bottom of my ego like a barnacle bound to a ship’s hull, I am freed by my practice once more. Every nuance of meditating feels like a lifetime of sublime existence. Every moment I am fully conscious, I am timeless and every act of love seems to stem from this spacious awareness.

The true me, the authentic self I recognize is revealed via my listening to the highest self in quiet contemplation.

“The things that matter the most in this world, they can never be held in our hand.” – Gloria Gaither