Monthly Archives: January 2015

Y3 – Day 18 – Meditation is Not for the Weak

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I meditate to find stillness and peace. Although, many times, I find instead the three stooges. Not Moe, Larry and Curly but instead, resistance, misperception and resentment. I basically suffer through until I am ready to listen. Sometimes, I abandon ship before I feel settled or complete. This is real life after all.

When I have fallen out of meditative or mindful practice, when I have failed to reach that space between the breathing or I have completely forgotten what the intention was – I choose to try again. Persistence is the antidote to my resistance.

When I abandon gratitude and compassion, I am sinking back into my ego. My selfish and mean ego tells me awful, hateful things about myself. Then, in the midst of a meditation, I remember a sense of abundance and a feeling of mercy that washes over me. A reminder of my purpose on this life journey arises and the misperceptions step aside.

When I join and sign up for the suffering, chaos and drama, I lose all grips on reality. I am choked by fear. Then, I return to my breath, I empty my hands and my soul releases expectations, freeing me of resentment.

I allow the obstacles to fall away because I know my enemies now: stubbornness, judgment and anger. Previously stuck to the bottom of my ego like a barnacle bound to a ship’s hull, I am freed by my practice once more. Every nuance of meditating feels like a lifetime of sublime existence. Every moment I am fully conscious, I am timeless and every act of love seems to stem from this spacious awareness.

The true me, the authentic self I recognize is revealed via my listening to the highest self in quiet contemplation.

“The things that matter the most in this world, they can never be held in our hand.” – Gloria Gaither

Y3 – Day 17 – Happiness

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My husband liberally quoted this morning to me:

“If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap. If you want happiness for a day—go fishing. If you want happiness for a month—get married. If you want happiness for a year—inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime—help others.” -Chinese Proverb

It made me start thinking and I asked him if he could make the quote personal what would he say?

His reply for an hour was – a bowl of ice cream.

For a day it was – No work.

For a year (he forgot there was a month) – A trip abroad

And for a life time he said ( and this is why I fell for him) – being married to me.

If I was to rewrite the quote for myself my reply was:

For an hour – Watch Masterpiece Theatre/Classics/Mystery on PBS

For a day – Curl up comfy with a great book.

For a month – Go up to the treehouse.

For a year – Achieve something or Get a dog.

For a lifetime – Being of service as a mom and a wife.

This one quote made for really interesting conversation and insight. What would your happiness be? How about your partner, friend or children? Ask them and yourself. Lively discussion may follow.

“Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes real happiness. It is not obtained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” – Helen Keller

Y3 – Day 16 – Vivian

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I am no Vivian Maier but I will be taking a short informational course in photography, given free at Chapman Library, next Saturday for all of us amateurs that received nice cameras for the Holidays .

We saw the documentary on her, put together by a modern photography student (John Maloof) who came across her negatives at a garage sale and hence she was discovered posthumously.

Vivian Dorothea Maier was an American street photographer, who was born in New York City and spent much of her childhood in France. After returning to the United States, Maier worked for about forty years as a nanny, mostly in Chicago – from Wikipedia, that is the gist of it. The documentary, the investigation, the mystery and her work is exceptional.DSC00088

 

Y3 – Day 15 – Contemplation Gifts

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Reading and re-reading Gifts from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh inspires me to write about the treehouse in the same manner. Perhaps, Secrets of the Forest or Memories above the Mountains or The Treehouse Speaks or Observations of Nature’s Value or My Cabin’s Soul. 

Any pine cone related thought will do. How they drop heavy, weary from high suspension, off the highest tops of century old evergreens. How when they let go, they are mulched into the earth, used as decor by passing tourists or sown into the ground to resurrect a new tree. Filling their tissues and cells with nutrients all summer long, they submit to the winds which shake them off in the fall. Drumming on rooftops, bouncing off rocks, they lay in wait for hungry squirrels and chipmunks, critters of the forest. A conical skeleton is left to rot.

Any lake reference works. How the water reflects the sky in brimming blue. How the basin is teeming with aquatic life. Ducks skimming across to fetch feed dropped by children and adults alike. The sightseeing steamboat, The Queen, cruising by for all to see. Facts which are measured like how the level rises and falls according to the rainfall. The top layer sinks due to the frigid depth and then the bottom rises to the warmer atmosphere, recycling and regenerating, keeping the water refreshed. A scenic vista, photographed countless times, documented as a famous Hollywood set for decades.

Any meditative idea becomes poetic. Viewing issues differently, making every moment unique. Themes, relationships and mysteries are uncovered and organically discovered within this contemplative world. The thinned air lightens your mind. The colors bring rest. Rocks are weathered, jagged, broken while twigs come alive or snap. Nature in its glory. Streams reveal the health of the mountain while birds forage and communicate. The Starling Blue, the Red Headed Woodpecker and the black and white Spotted Chickadees with yellow throats and spotted tummies dance and sing, nourish and swoop. They each have a love song.

The woods have a hold on me, even just thinking about it.

 

Y3 – Day 14 – Je Suis Charlie

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It is not love of self but hatred of self which is at the root of the troubles that afflict our world.” – Eric Hoffer

NOT AFRAID was illuminated amongst thousands of Parisians tonight! The French have always prided themselves in satire and especially political satire. Their history demands we remember it has shed blood for liberty, brotherhood and equality. I am shocked and saddened by the slaughter. I pray. What nonsense and cowardice.

Y3 – Day 13 – Lessons

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In the class of Life (Act Two), there are many lessons to be learned. To put everything in the Universal Mind and let it go, is a steep request of a former control freak. To sit back and act only after pausing, is quite a turnaround for a doer or reactor. To reflect and proceed forward only if staying still is contrary to peace, is asking for patience, wisdom and mindfulness. Exactly what Act Two is all about in the classroom.

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Y3 – Day 12 – Onion Peeling

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There are layers and layers of onion skin peeling away when you are on the spiritual path. Today, I had the honor and privilege of receiving some honest feedback and insight from a dear friend who helped me strip down to some core issues that have been plaguing me and blocking my growth.

It was hell. I felt vulnerable and I was an open wound. Even so, the work proved to have been worth it and a new openness and understanding is now ready to be healed.

A while back, I heard a story or saying wherein the doctor told the patient “I don’t do the healing, G-d does that.” “I just treat the symptom or the wound, but the body does the rest.”

I know I was meant to meet with my friend today who knows me through and through, to help me cross this bridge into unknown territory with courage, traversing the fragile terrain of the heart with dignity, and coming out on the other side of the resilient soul with a spiritual solution full of intent and veracity.

I am grateful I am still learning, still teachable, still eager to uncover and dig into the quarry –  under the light of the full moon, tonight.

Thank you K and thank you, HP in all of your goodness.

Y3 – Day 11 – Entertain Me

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This weekend were the last two days for most people on Holiday and back to work/school for some tomorrow.

Yesterday, I saw two great movies I haven’t heard much about: One is American, One is French.

Although I caught just the middle to the end of “The Words”, what I saw, I liked. For starters, the premise is centered around two writers. I am not a ‘spoiler’ yet there is a line I want to share: “We all make choices in life. The hard thing is to live with them and there ain’t nobody can help you with that.” spoken by the incomparable actor, Jeremy Irons to Bradley Cooper. This film only received two stars according to my TV guide but I felt it was well worth the watch. Again, I don’t want to give anything away, but I did feel like the story inside the story was actually a fact I read about Ernest Hemingway in The Paris Wife though. Nonetheless, I was drawn in, maybe even more so.

The second movie, “Le Passe”, which means ‘The past’, was a raw, emotional roller coaster and I enjoyed every twist, turn, dip and slow rise. For one thing, no one does reality in real time like the French. For another, good writing and storytelling has no boundaries and plays well to everyone, regardless of race, creed or nationality. Human issues and truth are universal.

This 5 star movie also dealt with choices and the consequences we have to live with. Serendipity?

And then, today, we just came back from seeing “Kinky Boots” at Segerstrom Hall. It is a musical with music by Cyndi Lauper and a Broadway hit.  The cast is touring along with its orchestra which was very rock and roll. It is playing in OC till the eleventh. It has a simple, predictable story with an unconventional but contemporary, open-minded resolution.  We were big supporters of Hedwig when it first came out and watched Priscilla way back when so the campy theme is always a welcome refreshment to us.

Let me be entertained, was our motto this weekend. And what did you do to wrap up the holidays?

Y3 – Day 10 – Zen Mountain

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DSC00081“If you’re really present, you become the experience.” – Ronna Kabatznick

DSC00082Inside my head is peace.

When I am struggling, remind me of this moment, the snapshot of heaven.

When I am caught up, battling my own poisoned, imaginary, scary thinking – May I remember the snow and the contrasts and the squirrels.

Mindfully paying attention…

– Cecilia

Y3 – Day 9 – Success

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Someone sent me the 12 things “successful” people do differently. Oh,oh. Each one made me cringe. I don’t do any of them well or at all.

Successful people:

1. Create and pursue focused goals. (I create lots of projects and have a million ideas but am I focused? – no way).

2. Take decisive and immediate action. (Well, I do tend to react – not always nicely – but I can be indecisive to a fault).

3. Focus on being productive, not busy. (I pretty much spin).

4. Make logical, informed decisions. (Logical? What’s that? and see part 2 of #2).

5. Avoid the trap of trying to make things perfect. (I have pretty much given up on being perfect but the fear of doing anything at all half badly also keeps me from doing anything).

6. Work outside of their comfort zone. (Not if I can help it).

7. Keep things simple. (Hahahahahaha – isn’t everything a production?).

8. Focus on making small, continuous improvements. ( I want it “bang!” now – I am not good at slow and steady).

9. Measure and track their progress. ( If I could find my 50 projects I started).

10. Maintain a positive attitude as they learn from mistakes. (Is that humility plus?).

11. Spend time with the motivational people. ( I do – but bottom line – It is I who has to move forward).

12. Maintain balance in their life. ( Trying that this year ).

How do you fare according to this list?