day 313 – Consistent

Reminder about Consistency

Consistency is key.  Today, I will eat healthfully and only as much as I truly need.  I will exercise and I will rest.  I will be productive and engage positively with others.  I will seek help if needed and give aid when asked.  I will correct what I can fix, clean up or enhance my belongings, my environment and the sanctity of my inner rooms.  I will allow outcomes to be what they may be without my interference, judgment or attachment.  I will release and surrender the results and not whine when it doesn’t come out to my “perfect” specifications or look like my unrealistic fantastical demands in my head.  I will open my arms, mind and heart to ideas, people and circumstances with genuine interest, expectation, enthusiasm and pleasure.  I will succumb to the will of a higher, loving energy and pattern my thoughts, align my intentions and practice by example.

This truth, this path and direction, I need to be reminded of consistently, constantly and continuously in order to be committed to it and allow this process to create my character.  So…

I will make three copies of this and attach it to three index cards.  I will post one on my vanity mirror, keep one in my purse at all times and tape one to my car dash.  Feel free to do the same.

day 312 – Prime Cut

We have a medium to above average steak house nearby called  Prime Cut Cafe in the Century 21 Theatre location.  There are several establishments there and every once in awhile we will dine here.  They have reasonable ($20 – $25) three course dinners Sundays- Thursdays from 4-9:30pm.  We have never taken advantage of it yet because our latest outing was on a Saturday afternoon.  When we have come here with our children, the Fire Roasted Tomato Soup and Fondue are always a must.

Here is what we did have:Fire Roasted Poblano and Corn Guacamole with Crispy Tortilla Chips

Rather than smashing the avocado, it was cut up into medium pieces and the corn was grilled and added a nice sweet touch.Applewood Smoked Bacon Spinach Salad with Heirloom Tomatoes and Avocado

Fettuccini Bolognese – House ground beef, ripe tomatoes, garlic, italian seasonings and au-jus.

This was a very homey dish.  The pasta was freshly prepared and homemade.  The classic addition of carrots, celery and onion chopped small gave it an Italian countryside flair.  It was the best dish at lunch.

Alaskan Cod with Summer Salad and Grilled Asparagus

I wouldn’t order this again because after making Alaskan cod in my own home I realized I just don’t like the texture.  Everything else on the plate was good though.

No dessert for us here, instead we went to Coldstone and took home interesting combinations and add-ins made our way.  I had Cake Batter ice cream and truly I cannot recall what I added in but I ate all of it so it must have been delicious and cooling.

day 311 – Clam Digging – part three

We spread and scrutinize the clams on our beach-pebbled patio designed and built by my dad .  Then we segregate and group each by size.  The clams bathe for two days in cornmeal and water in stockpots outside on our patio. They cleanse and purify themselves in this manner.  They open up their shells and suck in or “inhale” the clean water and cornmeal.  They discharge impurities as they “exhale.”

After separating all the clams, I take a nice warm bubble bath with my pink box of Mr. Bubbles soap flakes and reminisce about our adventure and our loot.  I adore fragrances even as a youngster and I splash on some light and citrusy Jean Nate toilet water.   Later that night, I join my family and sit around the old brick red picnic table with attached benches.  Our crimson brick barbeque stands proudly in the right hand corner of our pebbled patio.  My dad built the barbeque too.  He can build, manufacture or fix anything.  He taught me how to build fires on the beach without using  lighter fluid or gas.  I have handed down my pyrotechnic skills to my daughter, V, named after my dad.

The tastiest, most delicious and scrumptious clams are the one-inchers.  They are miniscule bites of delight.  We always eat the petite appetizers the very same night we bring them home.  The pygmy clams perch precariously on the grill over the fire my dad has started.  Each tiny mollusk gives up its life in its own time, at its own pace.  My dad stands watch so he can pick them up with his tongs at the peak of their flavor, the moment of their final surrender.  He proudly and carefully brings them to us one by one, without spilling any clam liquor, to our table.

I squeeze a little lemon into the bottom casing full of tepid seawater.   Alive just a few seconds ago, my savory amuse bouche awaits its destiny.  My victim lays steeped in tart ocean juice.  I dig the rubbery meat out with my fingers.  I detach its muscle from its plum – colored home.  I place it in my puckered mouth. I swallow it whole as I chase it down with the salty, lemony broth.  I slurp with a slight intake of air and it slides down my throat, smoothly, quickly and completely.

I relish and wonder in awe at the magical and vivid moments of a great summer day.  It is great to be alive!  It feels “oh so good ” as well as honest and satisfying to dine on gifts from the sea I toiled hard to unearth from the sea floor and brought up from the bottom of a clam bed.   I feel safe and secure on our beach-pebbled patio.  I do not take for granted the delicacy and pure exquisiteness of newly opened Little Neck clams and this moment in time. I grasp and hold close to my heart, the holiness of the event.

Possibly from the lessons I learned as a child, I value, respect, cherish, and find it sacred to eat fresh caught, fresh picked, freshly prepared or freshly harvested food.   It is a blessing to obtain, make ready and serve nourishing (preferably organic) meals with tender, loving care.

May you dine on simple, true flavors layered by time, shared with others and realize the moment as a gift.

 

 

day 310 – Clam Digging Part two

Now, defenseless without my sneakers,  I clamp my toes (it is more intuitive barefoot anyway) around what I believe to be a huge mollusk.  I reach down with both my hands into the salty liquid and I bend my right knee, raise my foot towards the surface, releasing my toe grip on an enormous clam as I place it securely, deftly into my left hand and lift up a beauty of a clam.  I shake it up and down, I spring out of the water about a foot high and exclaim loudly, “Mira, Pa, mira que grande!” (Look, Dad, look how big it is!)  It seems humongous in my childish grip.

My dad looks over from around fifteen feet away to my right, in much deeper water, further out from the rocky shore and calls back, “Oh, ese lo vamos a usar en una linda sopa.” (Oh, that one we will use in a nice soup.)

“Yes,” I ponder proudly, “it will make a good addition to a scrumptious fresh clam chowder!”  I know my mom will add homegrown veggies from our summer garden to the meal and I start to salivate just imagining it.   I find and retrieve yet another clam without letting it drop back into the sea and escaping my hold on it.

I enjoy the entire event – the ever diving down, reaching and clutching with my toes, the dance of lifting and grabbing the mollusks from my foot, to hand, to basket, and the time spent with my dad.   The satisfaction of spending quality time with my father (in a natural setting to boot) infuses my soul.  I also rather enjoy the feasting afterwards and with a comfortable, slow smile on my face follow the thought of how much I take after him and how much we belong to each other. There is no way I was adopted, though sometimes you wonder when you are young, because I instantly know in that moment, we are too alike and are having way too much fun hunting and gathering and being productive.

My dad takes pride in my clam-digging skills.  I fashion myself as a worthy ten-year-old sidekick.  My only drawback,  is  I want to keep everything and I question, haggle and repeatedly ask, -“Is this clam too miniature or illegal?” and  ” Are you sure I have to put it back?”  Clamming for a few summers now,  I feel confident in my dexterity, skills and ability.  I toss the mollusks left and right into the makeshift tire-tube basket that floats and dances between us under the scorching sun.

Every clam has a destination after the harvest.  A super large Little Neck clam resembles and weighs as much as a hefty rock! Chopped up gigantic four to five inch “Little” neck clams are relegated to my mom’s tasty and well-seasoned version of  clam chowder.  She bakes the medium -sized clams right in their own deep purple and pearl Quahog shells with homemade Italian breadcrumbs, parsley, garlic and butter. The bivalves are served in their own homes, a spot of pure genius and ingenuity.  These savory sea morsels are best right out of the oven and devoured while still blazing hot.   The Iroquois Indians of Long Island valued the beautiful violet interiors as currency.  The darker and larger the purple stain, the pricier the clam shell was worth.

Tune in tomorrow for the final description of clam digging and eating.

day 309 – Clam Digging – part one

No, no sirve, hija – es muy chiquito – dejalo que crezca.  Tíralo de vuelta en el agua, no lo metas en la canasta, Cecilia” (No, it’s no good, daughter – it’s too little – let it grow.  Throw it back into the water; do not put it in the basket, Cecilia).

‘Argh,’ I think.  Bitten by a crab for a teeny, tiny clam I have to throw back into the water. Really?  Oh well, back it goes.  I restore this creature to the depths of the murky inlet of Little Africa Beach into the depths of the Long Island Sound.

The summer sun warms the muddy water and drenches me in heat.   I kick the dark sandy sediment at the bottom of the sea upwards using my toes as I feel around for clams. Seagulls squawk and dive down over my head.  Their constant swooping and chatter, a backdrop to the lapping of shallow waves.  The distinctive scent of the sea permeates my nostrils and hangs heavy in the hot, humid air. The brine tastes sweet, it’s familiar taste pleasant and a comfort, as I smack my lips. It is a flavor particular to the Long Island Sound, back east, in New York.

My dad says it is unlawful to keep the miniature little neck clams and I reluctantly return them to the tepid summer water.  I look forward to them thriving, developing and multiplying because next season I will eagerly scoop and hold them up high like a prize won for patience, endurance and expertise.

The best way I know how to dig for clams is to touch and dig into the earth under the seawater as I tread and hop. I feel the terrain with my toes and grab what I think might be a clam between the ball of my feet and toes, clinching tightly around my catch …then I swing my clenched foot up to my opposite hip and reach down with either hand.  As I bring it to light for the very first time in its life out into the air and sunshine, I inspect my treasure.

Sometimes, my find emerges out of the water and it’s just a sharp- edged rock and I am severely disappointed.  On most occasions though, I discover a solid, pearly, round Little Neck clam, native to the Northeastern seaboard.  I bob up and down as I trudge the floor of the Sound searching for hours, repeating the scenario.  Occasionally, a crab grabs my toes and nips.  Sometimes, I even draw blood.

“Ouch!,” I exclaim.

Crabby crustacean biting occurs frequently in the month of August.  It is a good time to stick some old Converse or cheap department store sneakers on my feet to go clamming safely.

Today, I realize a little too late, is the last day of July and I left my shoes outside on the kitchen stoop leading to our patio. After my café con leche (coffee with milk) in the morning, I didn’t want to miss a single minute of daylight or time with my dad so I hightailed it out quickly to the driveway.

My dad waits with our gear in our old white-finned car. I live in bathing suits in the summer adding perhaps a pair of culottes and maybe a top. I dress in beach-prepared style all summer long.    However, I forget my protective sneakers today and I pay with some abrasions and crab inflicted wounds.

Tune in tomorrow for further clam digging drama…

day 308 – Clams

I don’t know if it’s the fact my son and his girlfriend are flying off from Seattle to take in New York sights and also visit with my daughter who resides there next weekend or just a hankering but today while shopping like two newlyweds with the love of my life at the supermarket after hitting a farmer’s market, I decided I had to have those delectable Little Neck Clams behind the smooth, clear glass, next to the adorned, garnished red pepper made to look like a starfish in the iced seafood section.  I immediately unloaded groceries once home and proceeded to make an old Long Island stand by –

Steamed Little Neck Clams:  For 18 clams or 2.75 lbs.  Serves one hungry Long Islander or  two – three appetizers for normal hungry people.

Rinse your clams.  Sometimes you have to scrub the beard or tiny hairs that develop around the opening of the bivalve but we usually get them pretty cleaned up in our supermarkets around here.  The clam shells should be closed.  Any clam that does not close when you touch it, needs to be discarded. They instinctually will shut their door when you knock. If they remain slightly ajar and do not respond to your tap, they are not edible. We want live not dead clams to begin with or you will get ill.

Chop up one or two peeled garlic cloves and two scallions or ‘green onions’ as we call them here out west.  Sautee in a wide bottomed pan with one teaspoon of olive oil. Add a few red pepper flakes if desired for extra punch. 

Allow the garlic to just toast then add the clams so ideally they spread over the bottom of the pan and are not stacking up on top of each other.  Add @ 1 cup water and cover, bringing to a boil. 

After about 3-5 minutes, uncover and add your fresh herbs.  I tossed in some basil from the garden, no need to chop unless you are on a Master or Top Chef competition.  This is also a great time to add another splash of olive oil.  I added one teaspoon (40 calories). Cover and let steam longer.  Healthy clams do not want to open up.  The muscles on either side of the shells keep them closed tight and we don’t eat this part. Notice how they are starting to lose their battle and are slightly opening up.  Sea water and clam juice gets released into your broth and no salt is required. Eventually, the clam surrenders its life and releases its grip and that’s when the shells open wide.  Metaphor?

If you have linguine boiling, drain and place under your clams, for classic Linguini with Clams. Once all the clams open @ 7-10 more minutes, remove them one by one in their shell (for presentation purposes) onto a platter or deep dish. 

Add three tablespoons of fresh lemon juice to the clam liquor/broth with heat off. 

Pour the whole shebang onto your awaiting clams.

Eat with gusto and scoop up the juice with convenient clam shells at your disposal or sop up with warm, fresh bread.  Discard shells or use to decorate a small rock garden.

Buen Provecho.

Maybe I will re-run my story on Clam Digging over the next few days.

 

day 307 – BFF’s Chicken Salad

Here are some delicious and quick ideas courtesy of my BFF’s initial inspiration in NY.

Summer Chicken Salad

Combine shredded, cubed or chopped up cooked chicken meat (light or dark or combo) with yogurt and a little coconut milk.  Add dill, cinnamon, curry, salt, chopped pecans, diced celery and halved grapes.

I thought – Add cilantro? Turmeric? Cardamom? Chai spice? Walnuts instead of pecans?

And then, I pondered – how about making homemade olive oil/lemon mayonnaise and adding chopped basil, pine nuts, diced red onion, fresh minced oregano and chopped kalamata olives to the chicken?  A mediterranean spin.  Chopped dates? Tomato?

Basically – protein, fat, fresh herbs, nuts, spice, fruit, crunchy veggies.

Or,  I considered –  a little toasted sesame oil and soy sauce added to yogurt or mayonnaise with shredded cabbage, chopped broccoli, shredded carrot, diced water chestnut, chopped green onions, chopped cashews or peanuts, sesame seeds and cilantro tossed with the chicken for an Asian spin.

Or,  I imagined – sour cream and salsa, chili powder, chipotle sauce, cilantro, green onions, corn, chopped mango, lime juice and avocado for a South of the Border twist.

Any of these additional ingredients could be tossed together to make an interesting salad or filling for a wrap without the chicken, substituting tofu, seitan or beans (garbanzo, black or kidney) for the vegetarian protein. Try to stay organic.  Buen Provecho!

day 306 – meditation fear


“Love yourself first and everything
else falls into line. You really have to
love yourself to get anything done in
this world.”
                                     Lucille Ball

 

 Is my mind drawing blanks or am I learning to rest my mind?  This may be the fear of meditation that has a hold on many people who will not or won’t even try to meditate.  Add to it, the dread of being alone with the self; alone with crazy, dark, dangerous, ugly, scattered thoughts.  The space between your ears can feel like an unsafe neighborhood and many feel threatened by going in and spending anytime alone in there.  Believing your thoughts are true can possibly cause you to go insane.   Only the thoughts you attach to and put energy and belief into are true for you.  We probably have an unlimited amount of random ideas.  We pick and choose which ones thrive, which ones we endorse and which ones to discard.  I decide to choose positive, loving and life affirming thoughts today.  If I didn’t love myself, I would opt otherwise and when I believe my negative, harmful thinking – I am not loving myself.

 

day 305 – Night Light

I remember ten years ago, my little one brought home her tuxedo kitten, not in a box but wrapped up in a towel sitting on her lap on the drive home. She clung to him and squeezed him so tight as a kitten, I thought for sure she was going to hurt him or he would scratch her.

She decided to call him Night Light and we all thought he was deaf because he didn’t seem to respond to noise.  Either his hearing came back or she magically taught him to listen because about three or four weeks later, he was responding to her whistle.  He still does.

Every time he left her side, she scooped him up and trained him to be with her every second of the day when she was home from school or on weekends.  She taught him how to jump up to her top bunk, to stay and sleep with her and she practiced relentlessly with him until it became his custom to always be with her.  Night Light was her cat.

I remember one night he escaped outside and I searched and prayed and cried till he re appeared miraculously and I was so relieved because she had not woken up yet and had no idea of the drama.  It would have devastated her to lose that cat.

When she spent the night at someone’s house her cat would whine and search for her all night long and no one slept.  He has slept on her bed for years right next to her always.  He responds and seems to protect her like a well-trained dog, not a cat.

On Monday night, E called home from college for the first time since she moved out.  We put her on speakerphone and Night Light came from I don’t know where and started meowing into the phone.  He nuzzled the phone and kept meowing into it.  It was adorable, heartbreaking and heartwarming. Night Light is still her cat.

We all miss E but when her cat recognized her voice, tried to communicate and plead with her, I really felt her absence.

We are giving him extra love and attention.  In fact, all three of our cats are now our babies.  I remember our first cat named Dash was our baby until we had our son. Twenty three years ago, our cat became our cat and our son was now our real baby.    We have reverted of late to calling and treating our feline friends like our babies again.

Until the “real” babies come home for a visit anyway.

 Night Light relaxing, luxuriating and waiting. 

day 304 – EJ

“Piano man, he makes his stand, in the auditorium” from Tiny Dancer

My very first concert back in 8th grade was Elton John and Kiki Dee at Nassau Coliseum.

I have seen him many times since.  One of his best was when he teamed up with Billy Joel and they played each other’s songs and had dueling pianos onstage.

If you ever get a chance and you haven’t seen him yet – he plays Vegas regularly.