from book –

Let your scars become lessons. Marinate in sorrow. Then, when prepared, climb your way out. You may end up with scrapes and bruises on your heart or pride, however, open to healing and adapt anew. It’s a process that basically leads the way towards surrender and then, one day you crack a smile. You give in to laughter. You allow humor to ease the heaviness. You break into song. You listen to birds at dawn. You stare at the stars at night. You walk the dog with a new spring in your step and smell the flowers, the fresh air and experience being alive again. Ultimately, we rely on gratitude to support our way to acceptance.

from book –

Preferring not to compromise, many of us run from pain. We succumb to flight or denial when we resist reality. Unless we want to hide under the covers, escape, check out or wither, we have no other choice but to accept circumstances.

Accepting what is occurring does not necessarily mean approving (condoning) of it. But strangely enough it is healthier. Then, the focus becomes transforming our own worry or sympathy into something worthwhile. We take action. For example, we volunteer, donate money, protest, transform our angst into art, fight for causes, start a new venture or go back to school. 

Meanwhile, we listen to our adult children but put duct tape on our mouths so we don’t sound judgmental, authoritarian or critical. Keeping our generational gap thoughts to ourselves is best after a certain age. We hire a caregiver to offset helping our parents. We seek coping mechanisms, skills and solutions to survive. We keep ourselves afloat, applying self-care so when friends, family or society need us, we are there, one hundred percent. For instance, firefighters relax, re-group and socialize outside the station, playing pool, golf or a friendly game of basketball. You can also delete appointments when you get overwhelmed. 

from book

Paralyzed by fear, we are ineffectual, powerless to alter the fate of others. We watch helplessly as our children suffer and our parents age and decline. As we are incapable of reversing time, we are stymied. When our friends and siblings are in trouble, we sense their vulnerability, but remain ineffective without their willingness to ask for help. We prefer to carry the burden for our children, the pain of our parents or the sadness for our peers.

Unfortunately, by emotionally taking on more than we can bear, we become overtaxed, burned out and end up resentful. Knowing what is ours to correct, fix or solve and what is none of our business nor responsibility is the great quandary for every caring, empathetic person. We lose our minds and our health to anxiety as we come to an impasse. Our bodies agonize under the duress of self-induced stress. Natural born caretakers draw boundary lines only after repeated struggles with this predicament.

From upcoming book, Goddess Musings:

June 3 – Acceptance of Life

“If our hearts are ready for anything, we can open to our inevitable losses, and to the depths of our sorrow. We can grieve our lost loves, our lost youth, our lost health, our lost capacities. This is part of our humanness, part of the expression of our love for life.” –  Tara Brach

“There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.” – Tara Brach

The reality that anguish, despair and grief are a part of life, not apart from life and our experiences, may come as a surprise. As intellectual beings, we understand the theory yet, we tend to mask, deny or blind the fear of suffering. And then, when real life hits, knocking at the door unawares, we are challenged to live bravely. We are confronted with living life on life’s terms, not our own, and that creates our dilemma. Our lack of power to make life look right, to soften blows, to stop the bleeding – is what distresses us most. 

I flow with life and I am full of grace.

THINK ACTION: Do you sense you live in a quagmire of difficulties or disputes? Have you ever tried on the other person’s proverbial shoes? How does that alter the scenery? Or your stance? Do you think acceptance, is giving in? Think about a grievance you are presently having. Do you have an urge or need to fight it? Because it is dangerous? Or does it just need re-framing? If your point of view is challenged, how do you respond? Can you live with contradictory opinions? Now, imagine coming from the knowledge you are loved beyond time and space. Hold this love inside your bones as it expands your heart. Do you enjoy more compassion in this state? How could this premise of living in unconditional love be useful? Could this awareness turn your life around?

FROM BOOK-

You deserve to be here. You are a child of Love. You have a right to exist. You are perfect in heaven’s eyes. To keep us humble, we wear the human cloak of imperfection. It is not about thinking less of yourself at all but thinking of yourself, less – in a self-centered manner.

When you look back on your journey and connect the dots, the worst scenarios and most resistant of people have taught you the grandest, deepest lessons. To see the gift in everything takes gratitude. But, first, it takes recognition of the truth. Indeed, acceptance is a mystical compass of how we are living life spiritually as it unfolds and presents itself.

Through the years, love and acceptance broke the chain of self-bondage called perfectionism for me. To quote Pulitzer Prize winner Anna Quindlen, “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”  You are pure love, mixed in with human flaws. These shortcomings stem from fear. Fear of following your dreams can make you procrastinate. Fear of not getting what you want can keep you from taking the risk of finding your courage. Fear of losing what you have can force you into greed or isolation. Instead, focus on Divine Love and tell the fear to pack its bags and go away. Fear is an empty pit and love is an open, infinite glow.