True Peace

True peace lies in the spring budding leaves of the dogwood. Or, a blue jay busy squawking, a chickadee drinking rain water, a red hat wearing woodpecker pecking at a branch for insects, or tiny worms in the bark.

Nature is true peace. Order in my home is beauty and peace. The sitar music with soft beats is true peace. Listening to 963Hz sound vibes is true peace.

The allure of out door vignettes and views are true peace. A plate of food well distributed and colorful is true peace.

The anticipation of bedtime and reading a treasured or new book is true peace. Wonder, enthusiasm and gratitude is true peace.

True peace is not fighting anything or with anyone not even inside myself. True peace is the scent of sweet candles burning bright, sage and incense, perfumed rooms cleansed by essential oils.

True peace is holding a baby, petting a furry family member or hugging, comforting, embracing with intention, releasing tears or sharing the joy of being alive in the same time continuum.

True peace is raindrops tapping onto the roof, cleansing dust off trees, bushes and washing away debris – leaving foliage, buds and flowers scattered below green canopies.

True peace is noticing and being awestruck by life and natural beauty, changes and moments of transformation.

The sky darkens, the sky clears, the sky opens and the sky releases tears.

And I am overjoyed!

Vedic Astrology

According to Vedic astrology (Jyotish) which is a bit different from western astrology, I am currently in a new 9 year cycle. The sun represents vitality, energy and light. Apparently filled with confidence and willingness to start new projects, passions and adventures, I will be sowing the seeds of my next 9 year path, this year.

So, no procrastinating, sets the tone. Planning, goal setting and re-invention is key. Discipline is called for at this time.

I may fly solo or be in a leadership role, possibly very visible publicly.

I must control my ego and be fair to everyone on my path.

I absolutely, totally forgot this prediction and found the little piece of paper I used to write this on just two days ago.

It happens that two days ago, I came to realize my purpose on this planet, at least for now. And it was further confirmed by a serendipitous nod yesterday when a dear friend revealed her wishes I would start up a meditation group again.

I am happy to announce a new Goddess Circle wherein I create and hold space for women wanting to connect to their divine nature.

Disordered Eating

Strict dieting, portion control, eliminating entire groups of foods and timed as well as how many meals led me to binge after each and every bout of severe restriction. ALL of my adult life.

The weighing, measuring and counting triggered what I later learned was disordered eating. When I looked into Eating Disorders Anonymous after a friendly chat with a gen z-er who noticed I wasn’t ordering lunch during a lunch date, I realized my weight and body size meant a lot more to me and how in reality it was unimportant to others who liked or loved me and generally in the scheme of things.

I have used food as a substitute for feeling emotions as well as sabotaging and punishing myself. It was a comfort, a drug and an escape. It was a way to control, manipulate and judge me because as an immature adult I thought I needed that kind of discipline. I had body dysmorphia and loathing. No body shape or size was ever good enough.

Now I use intuitive eating and I have gained weight yet actually I like myself more and I am finding my voice. Because it wasn’t the outer me that had to morph, it was the inner me that had to love and accept herself exactly where she was at.

Journal Prompt: What are your food rules?


Covid Lockdown had a silver lining. It made clear who and what mattered.

I have absolutely no patience for cruelty, greed and bullies. Never did, but I am not shy about how I fell about it any more. I do not agree with silence. I believe discrimination, unfair systems and wrongdoings against Earth and Humanity and Nature need to be spoken about, out in the open. Dialoging, informing and awakening to cultural changes are a must for me now.

I have more compassion, grace, tolerance and gratitude for self, therefore for you as well.

I dealt with anxiety on a deeper level after January 6, 2021. The day that will live in infamy for me like 9/11. I will not accept lies from those who are sore losers or try to frighten us anymore. More than ever, I believe in higher ground. You don’t have to defend truth, facts and science. They just are.

I respect and have tried to understand other points of view but not if it is tainted with fear, meanness and ugly behavior.

I’m done asking why did this happen? OR why did they do that? The answer is clear as a bell and it’s up to me to own my own attitudes and reactions.

I’ve become more discerning. I work on me and surround myself with uplifting, supportive and empathetic folks.

Journal Prompts:

What are 3 things you are grateful for that maybe you were not aware of before Covid hit or realize the importance of today?

What are 3 people, places or things you are powerless over?

What are 3 characteristics you like about yourself?


It’s the distractions that have derailed me, mostly. Every time I commit to self, interruptions keep me from following through. Finishing projects, writing a book, completing courses and becoming all I could be is not because of a lack of time. It’s how I spend my time.

M gets up extra early so he can do all his paperwork before the rest of the world awakens, arrives and starts to sidetrack or intrudes on him.

I get busy, getting things done, sinking my teeth into a task and BOOM, I change course because I am easily led down rabbit holes or something or someone stops me. It happens either by an outside source like a phone call needing my attention or my own head wandering or flitting to another flower like a butterfly.

Mind control and discipline can be practiced with meditation. It regulates and concentrates your focus on the breath, for example, so you can ground yourself better. That’s YOGA in a nutshell. Using your body to breathe and move as if that’s all that existed in the world.

Sorry, M just walked in and I forgot my train of thought.

7 Affirmations

I subscribe to Insight Timer since waaaaaaay back when it first came out and a smart phone had first been put Into my hand. Insight meditation is an eastern style of contemplation and I was and am very much intrigued by it. Needless to say, tech was all so new to me that for years I thought the only application Insight Timer had was a timer with a singing bowl. And maybe that IS how it began, but fast-forward to the 2023 version, there are now over hundreds of thousands of guided meditations and musical interludes and divinely inspired courses from all over the world and by a host of teachers, artists and light workers of every variety and approach.

A few months ago I listened to Jonathan Lehmann, a French Investment Lawyer who was so disillusioned with his preoccupation with material gain that he turned to the study of happiness and is now on Insight Timer and leads silent retreats, immerses himself in meditation and helps others. His seven affirmations spoke to me and I wrote them down for my personal use. Here they are:

7 (Seven) Affirmations by Jonathon Lehmann

  1. I make plans but I remain flexible, open to the surprises that life has in store for me. I try to say “Yes” as often as possible.
  2. I cultivate patience and by doing so I also cultivate self-confidence.
  3. I welcome the opportunity to step outside my comfort zones and I do NOT let myself be guided by fear.
  4. I love myself unconditionally because it’s essential to my happiness. I love the person that I am and I do not need other people’s approval to love myself fully.
  5. I am going to drink water, eat fruits and vegetables, walk, take the stairs, exercise. Today, I’m going to love my body.
  6. I give everywhere I go, even if only a smile, a compliment or my full attention. Listening is the best gift I can give those around me.
  7. I try to be impeccable with my word and to speak only to spread positivity, it’s counterproductive to my happiness to speak against myself or against others

Spring 2

Lavender, Spanish, English and a bush of French mums

Purple, lilac, grey and light green,

Violet/Magenta with yellow centered dots

Your scented sweetness tickles my nose

Gather your serenity and brighten my days.


Wildflower of California, orange poppy made of rice paper petals and feathery armed leaves.

You look like a happy camper on the hills and sides of the roads.

Bring me your happy yolk-colored smile.

It was Bound to Repeat

I just read a ranting and raving entry from my journal on 12/10/20. It was full of anxiety and worry and fear. I had gone down a rabbit hole (what they call doom scrolling now) on Reddit and it scared no – terrorized me. Some red states were trying to overthrow the election and it seemed familiar to me. I felt I was back in a nightmarish memory. The trauma was in my body. I couldn’t quite place the extreme reaction.

Back in 2020, I didn’t realize the marked differences until a friend called and she mentioned how the whole world was going down the tubes and I asked her why? We started talking about politics and I thought we were on the same page about the end of democracy and the unfairness and suddenly after I said something about a civil war looming and a certain somebody inciting violence she said no I don’t think that – I’m talking about the illegitimacy of the election and I said which one? You mean this one? Was she talking about Bush vs. Gore? And after both of us realizing we were living in two different realities it was awkward and we hung up.

In the middle of the night I couldn’t sleep. I felt the unrest and couldn’t console myself. I saw clearly that this was a moment, that we were on a sort of precipice and it felt like the novel 1984 but worse because we also had the Covid crisis. Who would have bought a screenplay of 1984 plus a pandemic thrown in?

Gore would have handled the 9/11 event differently. I believe we would have perhaps asked ourselves why we were attacked. I opine therefore we would not had an Iraq war because that was a farce birthed in machismo and greed. We had no business being there. So many places we arrogantly invaded. And don’t get me started on climate change and how we would have all on this planet been in a better place today.

And then, last night I am reading Violeta by Isabel Allende, always such an historic truth teller with a woman’s story to match. And her description of the political genocide in South America especially of Chile and then seven years of it in Argentina and I realized it was bound to happen again, karmically almost comically right here where I live now.

There’s a total disregard for law and order and rules and civility that would have been unthinkable before. That happened in Argentina in the 70’s too. My family living there had no other choice but to live through the Condor Operation and I was only there for a smidgen of it. I came back to the states and was safe. But now it had followed me here and it is pure satire that time and again my ancestors have had to flee wars, poverty and oppression only to have it all come back to the land of the “free”.

It is unbearable to assume there are no safe harbors or dreams of a better life left. Let’s not let this be repeated and heed it as a warning of how plausible it all actually was.


You delve full on if you’re all in. On a daily basis. Hourly, every minute your thoughts stray. At first and for a while or maybe every time a new challenge shows up, you have tons of doubts, questions and micro-resistances. And lots to learn. About how to behave from a place of rigorous honesty and radical integrity. This is your spiritual path. It mirrors with the yoga tenets of the Yamas and the Niyamas.

With time, it becomes a quest for self-approval, self-acceptance and self-care rather than looking outside yourself for validation.

And then, it is an exploration of how to give from a place of surplus. The abundance of love and fulfillment needed to supersede an ego-centered past life. You extend the repairing and maturing. You strive to become whole and complete, releasing trauma and not letting it define you or interfere with who you are today in the present moment. You connect the dots and realize it’s all been necessary. The journey becomes a continuous learning curve wherein your biggest leaps of understanding and wisdom come from a place of pain, suffering, confusion and ultimately surrender to what is. You ride the waves, enjoy the ride; swell, crest and crash and then serenity creeps back. Like the breath, it’s the in and out, the up and down, the RIDE that builds your character.

In essence, recovery is repairing your relationship with self and how you react to the world and taking responsibility for absolutely everything that you now do and did. You reframe your challenges and see where you were indeed the creator or reactor to circumstances. You are taught to love yourself no matter what, surrounded by strangers that love you for coming into the deep folds of healing. United and together, on misfit island, you share from the heart and are allowed to be vulnerable without judgment or comment. Common cultural barriers and mores are broken in order to love the newcomer with love they do not have for themselves yet. You might want to isolate but people reach out to you and you are in disbelief. Alone is not lonely any more. And you never have to suppress or hold onto negative thoughts anymore.