Y4 – Day 195 – The Power of Wonder

Wonder is Wisdom – Socrates

My pen feels smooth, effortless with deep and bold color. Cindi and I repose alongside each other. The treehouse is quiet inside but I hear wind chimes on the balcony. She is my precious, adorable therapy dog. I wonder how we got so lucky. Two souls meet in the ether and know they belong together. That’s how it was for us.

My daughter comes to visit and is in town. We make plans for the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena. I have never been. The day before and unbeknownst to me, M takes a roll of film he found in his car out of nowhere and gets it developed. It’s a series of photographs my daughter shot when she went to the same exact museum with her Art History class in High School. Coinquidink? I think not. I wonder how we don’t connect the dots more often? I wonder what else am I missing because I am too worried, too caught up in the daily grind or too blind to see?

“There is only one cause of unhappiness;
the false beliefs you have in your head,
beliefs so widespread, so commonly held,
that it never occurs to you to question them.”
Anthony de Mello

I often imagine myself in Oregon or some other colder, greener, gloomier state. I wonder how different life would have been if we had settled there back in 1993. I wonder why I love it when the weather is dark and grey. Why do I love the soft drizzle of raindrops?

You know there’s power in wondering, pondering, contemplation, right?

If I didn’t wonder I would miss the power in all of these details that make a life wonderful.

You gotta have a dream.
If you don’t have a dream,
how you gonna make a dream come true?
Oscar Hammerstein II

Y4 – Day 186 – Our California Pepper Tree

From the vantage point of our soon to be sixty-year-old California pepper tree, almost at the farthest point in our backyard, I sit under its shade and what I see, feel and hear captures my heart.

I feel the breeze whisk by. It makes the long, thin, weeping branches holding pink berry clusters sway and rustle as if they were beaded curtains swinging and swishing at the secret opening of an opium den in the exotic Far East of a James Hilton novel. The grass and weeds lean and bend at my feet and beyond, leading right up to the graphite colored edge of the slated patio.

I listen to the symphonic chattering of birds’ whistles and chirps. Feathers fly. Sibilant sounds pierce the air. Abandoned nests whisper in silence.

I hear the whir of commercial jets overhead. Without looking at the blue expanse, I can distinguish the roaring, steady stream of noise. There are the fueled planes and then there are the ones motored simply by propellers, arriving and departing via our local airport. I hear two or three mowers from neighboring lawns. A car passes by the upper street, north of us. I am at the center of it all as life passes and continues despite my presence under the foil of the California pepper tree.

Against the south fence, bordering our citrus grower, the leaves from non-descript, softwood trees shake, drop and fall. The California pepper flutters its fringed leaves. Here and there, it lets a single pink berry or thin, bladed leaf go. As it is released from the tree, the verdant leaves twirl as they spiral to the earth’s surface on their journey. The berries, on the other hand, even though they are as light as tears, drop straight down onto the dirt.

The Queen palms by the pool reach up to the heavens. They are languishing with fatigue by the lounge chairs. The young fronds circle in a pinwheel pattern around the flexible, giant stalk. . Heavy with sword shaped leaves, their weight creates a bend downward. It’s a fireworks display exploding in green.

The Hawaiian plumeria we planted as a stick is now a seven wide by seven-foot high island tree. Its dense, shiny, sea green foliage hides the fact there is a kitchen window behind it. The clusters of bursting flower petals are painted in magenta and bright, sunshine yellow. Their inner throats are streaked in a pale white when you look up close. From the distance and cover of my California pepper tree, they look like ruby gemstones, imported from Siam, now, Thailand, which are darker and deeper than India’s precious stones.

A hummingbird flits from east to west, searching. It sticks its long pointy beak into orange trumpet shaped blossoms on a shrub we never planted and don’t have the heart to dispose of. It stoically resurrected itself just a few months after our landscaping was complete, sixteen years ago.

Purple hearts cascade over the raised stucco planter on the left of the back of the house. The half circle is under a window and attached to the outside of our den wall. Teeny, lilac blooms announce their arrival by peeking out from deep inside elongated and furry leaves. The purple secretia grow like creeping ivy but they are eggplant colored. The lighter tone of the flowers brightens the aubergine hue like glitter sprinkled on a maroon background. Profuse and seemingly limitless, it’s random and wild.

The twin planter to the right has a myriad of color. The four o’clocks I planted from seed range from hot pink to fuchsia to bright purple to sunny yellow, milk white, poppy red and coral. Hidden under their eighteen inch heights are petunias that peek out in violet and lily-white. A ten-inch glass sphere sits atop its black iron stand in the center of the half moon. The shiny aqua globe turns purple, cobalt blue and Japanese beetle green, according to how the prism of light hits it. It anchors and celebrates the rainbow jubilee of the flora it reigns over.

One side so monochrome, the other side, varied and brilliant. Both have a haphazard, unrestrained and spontaneous texture. Like different parts of you vividly portrayed in two living beds of possibilities and outcomes. Both are bold, strong and refuse to be defined by any rules.

There’s a row of Iceberg roses all along the front side of the guesthouse showing signs of brown wilt on the tips of their petals. This indicates the snow-white flowers need to be snipped away from the clutches of their thorny branches. I love using my super sharp, Cutco pruners. When I was fifteen and staying with a friend on her acre of gardens in East Hampton, I learned to cut off the flowered stem at the start of a five-leafed nodule. This allows fresh growth to take hold and to move in a different direction. I remember we sunbathed nude in private inside her glowing courtyard. That summer away, I was nurtured and looked at life with novel eyes too.

Maybe later I will lop off roses, but, for now, I take this time, to bask and appreciate the natural beauty everywhere, beneath the soft, netting of my California pepper tree.

The view is alive and well. I write with abandon and glory about what’s right here before me, for as Dorothy says, There is no place like home.

 

 

Y4 – Day 180 – Ten Day Vacay

I am baaaaaaaaack!

Ok – so in the last ten days a lot has gone down. In the world, in our country and in our own little neck of the woods.

My godmother, my dad’s sister in Argentina passed away, leaving a hole in our family. She was suffering so much though it seems merciful to let her go peacefully in her sleep. Yesterday was her (would have been) her birthday. Her daughter Gaby, rounded up all her mom’s cousins and had them over at my Tia Betty’s home where my son and I stayed back in 2004. She videotaped each person as she went around the large dining room table and sent it to my sister and I, here in the states via smartphones.

Le Tour de France is in its 16th stage as of today. Chris Froome (Froomy to his fans) is wearing the yellow so far. I have not seen today’s stage yet. We record the live tape from three in the morning and watch it together when love of my life gets home.

ML has come to visit and gone. Much fun, tears and laughter as we watched all twenty-six episodes of Grace and Frankie, shopped, went to see Bryan Adams at Verizon Amphitheater, met up with Dana and went up and down the mountain. This was my second time watching the two seasons of Netflix’s comedy with my adorable Lily Tomlin and it was even better and more nuanced this time around.

I had not been writing much due to the visit, but my real, true, I mean it this time, start date is August first anyway. That is when I will sit to write and make myself have office hours. This is the day I become a new woman and actually discipline myself. I owe it to my writing if not to myself.

My words take on a meaning and trip of their own sometimes. They fly out of my hands and I can’t take them back once they are in black and white. Hopefully, I will get some material down and then edit, edit, edit and edit and share and edit and workshop it and edit some more.

My memoir class is just about over with a weird space between the July class and the last one in late August. I began another online class I am not very good at attending. I think I hate online video classes just as much as I hated TV aerobics and VCR yoga tapes back in the day. GIVE IT TO ME IN WRITTEN FORM for G’s sake!

Today was the first day back for my yoginis too. We limbered up today after a long hiatus.The theme was third chakra or your core power, especially your will power. Together with emotion and heart, intentions materialize when you match it up with your yellow sun energy. Last night, I downloaded incredible new age and soothing spa songs, creating two fresh yoga playlists.

At Bower’s museum, I purchased yet another bell sounding Tibetan singing bowl. I saw the Mummy exhibit too and wish I hadn’t. I had nightmares due to the graphic nature of the displays.

My garden is out of control especially with cherry Heirloom tomatoes in golden yellowish orange, red and green Christmasy ones and teardrop shaped bright red specimens. I don’t even have to buy lettuce anymore because plot one is exploding with curly leaf, almost romainey salad greens. Zucchinis are sneaky and all of a sudden they become huge baseball bats from yellow flowers. One pumpkin, so far and herbs to last me a lifetime. The neighbors in Arrowhead and down here are both benefitting from our constant harvest.

Mastermind concluded but I belong to a writing community online now and have homework due every Friday that is critiqued by fellow writers and in order to stay in the group, you have to read and give feedback to at least three people. I am making writing friends with ex Pats in Spain and Germany and others living in the US. I am impressed by most of what I read.

Meanwhile, I have re-read through Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, and this time I made the commitment and wrote out the prompts scattered throughout the chapters. I am heavily invested in Writing down Your Soul by Janet Conner, working through the powerful and profound questions on a daily basis. I am also relishing Chapter by Chapter by Heather Sellers. I am doling out pieces of The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr, which J had signed (oh how envious) to myself as I somehow fit it in with my library lent copy of Writing Memoir Together by Joan Tornow. I also started the fiction novel, A Paris Apartment which ML said was very good and a new memoir by Joan Anderson, this one called, An Unfinished Marriage. I love reading so much at once so I never have to say goodbye to any one book right away.

I think that’s about it and you are caught up. My poor dog, Cindi is looking at me waiting on dinner and I am about ten minutes late starting M’s supper. Bye for now.

Y4 – Day 172 – UFO’s

There are several birds and one wildflower I have yet to identify for lack of time. Since I haven’t identified these two pictures you see posted here, I decided to call them UFOs. The bird is self evident, “Duh” it flies. See the seed in its beak?

The blossom looks literally like a colorful, maybe psychedelic spaceship with its landing gear exposed ready to touch down. Clearly, you can see that too, right? And, yes, this is an upside down bloom so it hangs off the stem – I did not rotate the picture.

Nature is amazing and often times quite stunning!

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Y4 – Day 146 – Kant Quote

It is not God’s will merely that we should be happy, but that we should make ourselves happy.  – Immanuel Kant

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.

IMG_1465Healthy eating is easy when all you have to do is run down to your garden with a trug basket and a pair of scissors.

Three types of lettuces from seed and two different types of cherry tomatoes, one yellow, one orange form organic Home Depot tiny plug transplants.

 Amazing what great nourishment abounds in our garden.

Check in with your soul, stomach and brain today.

Y4 – Day 143 – The F word

When you let go of useless and restrictive beliefs you can learn much more about yourself. For example, How wonderful are you at multitasking? Let me ask a different way. How fun are you when you are spinning in three different ways?

I say F MultiTasking.

Focus is my new F word.

You and I have gifts that heal and are a win-win. Sharing and working with others, especially when they want and need it, is a mutually satisfying experience.

But how can you possible give anyone 100% if you are distracted by one or two other things? Is that fair? Do you catch yourself talking to your friend on the phone who is having a bad day, venting or asking for support and also cleaning the floors, ironing, driving, counting up your calories, putting on makeup, checking your FB/emails and/or self checking out in the supermarket?

I bet you are fabulous at whatever you do when you do it with focus.

To accomplish anything worthwhile, the key is focus and discipline.

Here are the 3 D’s: Delete, Discern, Discipline. To get to whatever destination, you need to accomplish with the determination to focus. Delete distractions. Discern priorities. Discipline yourself to methodically chop it down into manageable chunks.

What a revelation it is to see nature growing where least expected. It takes focus to bloom on a salty, sandy, windy beach with only rain to bring you to life, sun to feed your leaves and seagulls to watch your birth.

DSC00661Picture of an orange blossomed low lying, creeping survivor on a desolate beach, focusing on regenerating itself and filling me up with pleasure. It’s a win-win for both of us as I revel in its bona fide manifestation and it concentrates unquestionably on staying alive.

#yogaqotd #qotd