What’s the three most important conditions/stipulations /qualifications you need in a solid friendship or relationship?

For me, it’s Like, Trust and Respect.

If I love you but don’t like you, there’s no room and vice versa.  I have plenty of people in my life that I just don’t like as much, as let’s say, chosen friends.  I am sure you can think of a few.  It’s just a fact of life.  It doesn’t mean I don’t care about them; I just don’t care for them much.

On the other hand, there are plenty of people I like, that I might not even know well enough to say, I love them.  But I enjoy their voice, laughter, energy or countenance.  It just rings true or is pleasing.

So, I have to like someone to be in relationship.  I don’t want to spend a lot of time with someone who makes me feel uncomfortable, is demeaning or is snarky.  That makes no sense.

Knowing whom I don’t like and not spending time with them is part of loving myself.

I also need to trust you.  If I believe you are hiding something, not real or just plain been caught in a lie, I cannot trust you.  I am kept to that standard as well when we are in relationship. Emotional dishonesty can cripple a friendship. I know, I have been the dishonest one.  Fear held me back from being truthful.

As I get older, I am better at knowing whom to trust, but I am naïve at heart and have been taken advantage of, plenty of times.  This is where I have learned about boundaries and applied it.

Respect is something I must have for you in some form or fashion.  You may not respect, admire or believe in yourself but if I see potential or spark or authenticity even in your vulnerable state, I will respect that.  I know how courageous it is to take a step forward towards your health, be it mental, emotional, spiritual or physical.  I respect anyone who is trying to truly improve himself or herself, no matter where they are now.

And, I respect those with manners, classy gestures or generous souls.

I admire the bravery I have seen in some women to go beyond their usual patterns and break out into new territory, places they have never been to, and are unfamiliar with.  They demonstrate that miracles do happen.

In my marriage, I love, like, admire, respect, adore, trust and believe in my husband 100%.  He is the angel beneath my wings and my rock of Gibraltar.

I like that my husband is my friend, confidante, and greatest admirer plus he makes me laugh.

I trust that he will be there, lift me up and keep my and our family’s wellbeing at the forefront.

I respect the above plus all the hard work he has put into our lives, relationships and the success of this family and us as a couple.

May your relationships blossom and evolve.  Take the time to think about what you treasure most in yours and what you need to do to make them flourish or…

to let them go…

or transform.

Well, I guess I intuitively knew what to do last night when I stopped taking the estradiol and the progesterone this morning.  Feel better already and my Dr. believes all roads lead to hormonal imbalance/trouble.

I am on the mend.

For the last 21 days, I have ceased using any artificial sweeteners, soy products, non-fat/low-fat anything or processed foods.  I have consumed only whole foods.  I am drinking only one cup of coffee.  I am exercising, increasing my walking from 3-5 miles/week to about 10-15 miles/week.  I am sleeping better and apparently have brought my body to a place wherein I do not need supplements or HRT.  At least, that’s what we are presuming (my wonderful woman doctor and I).

Today, I took a blood test to check twelve different important markers.  In about a week, I should have all of the results. In a month, my physician and I will meet again but we will be e-mailing throughout.

Tweaking, checking up and being aware of how your body is functioning is a loving gesture.  It is a caring contribution towards your health,  a gift to your devoted family and a  benefit to the gentle friends you are so fond of.

While I sat down to get my blood drawn, I noticed the phlebotimist’s name. “Oh, that was my friend’s name.” I said.  “She has since passed away.” I added, tears welling.

And so a discussion began about ovarian cancer and how we don’t get regularly tested and it’s the last thing doctors look for when investigating a woman’s complaints.  How it is very insidious.

“They should book it when you book your mammogram.” I  reasoned.

“Yes.” she affirmed.

“So, why don’t you say something?” I innocently queried.

“They don’t listen to us, it has to come from the patient.  The patients should make a stand and demand an annual test be given.” My dead friend’s namesake replied.

So, I am going to take even more responsibility for my current health and ask my doctor about it in my next email.  You might want to do the same.  My mammogram is scheduled for Monday. I would be happy to get the ovarian CA 125 blood test or some sort of something to keep tabs on that, too, right?  I will ask.

We need to encourage, inform, support and remind each other of our maintenance schedules.

Here’s your memo to listen to your body and monitor your symptoms.

No one knows you best and you deserve the best life you can possibly live.

Today has just been one of those days where I have nothing to say and if I did, I’d just be whiny.  There’s no good reason, I am just feeling blah.  I am weepy, emotional and wacky.

Do you ever have one of these days?  What do you do to snap out of it?

I am basically calling in sick to life today.  I am doing the minimum required.  My energy is low, so low in fact, that if I were a car, I would have to say my tank is near empty. And it’s been like this for the last three days.

I have had plenty of sleep, I am eating well and exercising daily.  All is well in my world.  I have no complaints.  Except maybe my joint and neck pain.  But, I am not under the weather.

Since I tend to analyze and moll things over, I have decided ( and all my women friends concur) it’s hormonal.  I am putting in a phone call to my Doctor.

She will see me tomorrow.  Let the levels be checked and the tests begin!

Traipsing through the rocks on the shoreline, investigating steadily and patiently gazing into the tide pools is a childlike treat.

Just like when you laid on your back and saw animal forms in the puffs of clouds, peering into the small microcosms of held seawater, conjures up knowing shapes.   Meanwhile, miniscule busy hermit crab villages appear bedazzled by anemones.

This heart shaped collection of discarded, broken and cast-off shells enchanted me.

Check out day 72 for Cilantro which alphabetically comes after Chives.

The color of amethyst.  The color of royalty.  The color of the seventh chakra, your connection to the divine.

According to lore, a ”lavender” was a washerwoman many centuries ago in England. This stems from the Latin word meaning “to wash.”  The fresh, clean and menthol fragrance of lavender gives it its name and not its color.  But the color lavender probably received its name from the herb even though the flowers lean more towards a deep purple.

In ancient Greece, Rome and Arabia, herbalists touted lavender as a disinfectant, antiseptic and able to prevent and cure skin infections.  Science today acknowledges and verifies these claims.  The essential oil is recommended for cuts, scratches, insect bites, burns and blemishes.  Aromatherapy endorses its use as calming, uplifting and soothing.

Romantic lavender with its silver leaves blooms easily here.

To use the flowers, snip them off when open and fluffy.

Chop them up finely with rosemary.

Make your own herbes de Provence.  Just blend chopped up and dried savory, thyme, lavender and you may want to add rosemary, fennel or basil.  This mixture is delicious in homemade bread.   Add garlic, shallots and olive oil to rub all over lamb, chicken or fish.  It will enhance your cooking repertoire.

Make lavender sugar by just placing it in a jar together.

When we moved to our house and/or when I am packing up some clothes, I throw in lavender flowers to help keep moths and bugs away as well as scent the stored box or bag.

I am a strong believer in rubbing lavender on your temple to help with restlessness or a slight headache.

Place some in cheesecloth or a sachet and keep in your drawers.

Lavender lemonade, lavender lemon cookies and lavender ice cream are a few ways to try lavender in the kitchen.

I heart lavender for its beauty, its attraction to hummingbirds and bees, its aroma and best of all, how easy it is to grow here.  Don’t overwater it.  Even though it is a perennial, after three to five years, the flowers may lose their strong virtues so I am constantly rotating in new varieties.

Sweet Lavender Ice Cream

2 cups milk

2 tablespoons dried English lavender buds

1-cup sugar

2 egg yolks, slightly beaten

2 tablespoons minced crystallized ginger

1 teaspoon minced fresh orange zest

2 cups heavy cream, chilled

Heat the milk slowly, just below boiling to a simmer.  Remove from heat and add the lavender.  Cover the pot and let it steep for about 20 minutes.  Strain the milk with cheesecloth and discard the flowers.

Stir in sugar till dissolved.  Pour some milk into the yolks and stir gently, then pour both eggs back into the milk.  Add ginger and zest and reheat the pot over low heat again just to a simmer, stirring often.  The mixture will thicken and coat the back of a spoon when ready.

Remove from heat; add chilled cream.  Mix well and refrigerate.  When cold, process in an ice cream maker.                   Makes 1 quart.

Lavender 2012

Second in alphabetical order of top 12 herbs is the onion-flavored herb that causes no tears.

Wild growing chives are called ramps.  They are so easy to grow; give them some sun, water once or twice a week and snip them back and they grow again.

The big secret is  – don’t cook them.  Use them instead as a garnish, finely minced using a scissor, over potatoes, fish, rice dishes, chicken, any veggie, etc…

Chive blossoms are also edible.  Chopped and tossed into potato salad, chilled gazpacho or grilled veggies, they add a stronger onion flavor than the stems.