What’s the three most important conditions/stipulations /qualifications you need in a solid friendship or relationship?
For me, it’s Like, Trust and Respect.
If I love you but don’t like you, there’s no room and vice versa. I have plenty of people in my life that I just don’t like as much, as let’s say, chosen friends. I am sure you can think of a few. It’s just a fact of life. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about them; I just don’t care for them much.
On the other hand, there are plenty of people I like, that I might not even know well enough to say, I love them. But I enjoy their voice, laughter, energy or countenance. It just rings true or is pleasing.
So, I have to like someone to be in relationship. I don’t want to spend a lot of time with someone who makes me feel uncomfortable, is demeaning or is snarky. That makes no sense.
Knowing whom I don’t like and not spending time with them is part of loving myself.
I also need to trust you. If I believe you are hiding something, not real or just plain been caught in a lie, I cannot trust you. I am kept to that standard as well when we are in relationship. Emotional dishonesty can cripple a friendship. I know, I have been the dishonest one. Fear held me back from being truthful.
As I get older, I am better at knowing whom to trust, but I am naïve at heart and have been taken advantage of, plenty of times. This is where I have learned about boundaries and applied it.
Respect is something I must have for you in some form or fashion. You may not respect, admire or believe in yourself but if I see potential or spark or authenticity even in your vulnerable state, I will respect that. I know how courageous it is to take a step forward towards your health, be it mental, emotional, spiritual or physical. I respect anyone who is trying to truly improve himself or herself, no matter where they are now.
And, I respect those with manners, classy gestures or generous souls.
I admire the bravery I have seen in some women to go beyond their usual patterns and break out into new territory, places they have never been to, and are unfamiliar with. They demonstrate that miracles do happen.
In my marriage, I love, like, admire, respect, adore, trust and believe in my husband 100%. He is the angel beneath my wings and my rock of Gibraltar.
I like that my husband is my friend, confidante, and greatest admirer plus he makes me laugh.
I trust that he will be there, lift me up and keep my and our family’s wellbeing at the forefront.
I respect the above plus all the hard work he has put into our lives, relationships and the success of this family and us as a couple.
May your relationships blossom and evolve. Take the time to think about what you treasure most in yours and what you need to do to make them flourish or…
to let them go…