A few days before Christmas, my daughter V grilled me a vegan lunch that was every bit as delicious as a classic bar-b-q. Striped onions, peppers and marked vegan sausage paired well with baked beans, pickled sauerkraut, dill pickle slices and Dijon mustard swirls.
Herein lies a gift of nature I was given this season.
Photo taken surreptitiously by MJS
My spirit fell – the end of a year – fraught with anger, division and meanness – the dawn lit the sky and it brought good, kind and supportive souls together. Thank you goodness for the succor and relief found among us.
I haven’t been as enthused about much this year as the disintegration and demise of our democracy continues, slowly and surely- behind, around and right in front of our eyes and backs.
But, I have my Ayurveda classes or what I call, Yoga Plus, I have my daughter and her pirate, one black-eyed dog at home (both brighten my day) and my yoginis who inspire and reward me by attending my home studio. Of course, my husband, my other chickadees, Cindi, my few but tried and true friends, galpals and escaping up to the treehouse are also a goddessend.
Nonetheless, I miss my daily writing. I journal but cannot publicly post half the stuff that I feel in my bones about this administration and the fears that plague me. I have tried meditation, herbal remedies, distraction, eating, and mindlessness – but to no avail. The only true yet difficult solution for me is to get back to my practice and structure of penning the pain and disappointments, as well as the good and joyous moments, and returning back to gratitude as a perspective.
“Wake me up when the nightmare is over.” is no longer an option. I need to trudge through this like every other awful time. I must learn to thrive, not just survive. Otherwise, I become a shell of myself.
Write on. Love is hope. Hope is survival. Write your truth. Write your story. Write about the love, hope and your soul’s survival during this dark abyss. You will get to the other side of the moonless night because this too shall pass. Thankfully, expression through your art form, whatever it may be, can liberate your voice and make sense of the idiocracy that abounded in 2017.
Do it before it is outlawed.
And so, the detox begins, the movement starts and the mind disciplines the body.
Laguna Beach
Sedona is majestic and magical. We could see face profiles, animals and various inanimate objects in the red rock formations. Hiking with good ole Cindi went well till she nearly collapsed in the heat. The hikes are steep in places and the pebbled floor is irregular. Yet, the beauty of contrast, light and energy invigorates. Our dog could have cared less about the view and just wanted to keep up. We stopped here and there and let her drink water from her dish under the shade of a twisted tree or stone overhang. She’s so eager to please she never once begged to be picked up, although we did, anyhow.
My past does not define me.
I am a new improved woman everyday.
I invite Faith to rule my actions – the faith to hear my intuition, highest self and what is authentically me.
I have the choice to read, watch, think, wear, do and listen to what’s best for me.
The new me loves to walk and move more. I mindfully eat and stop when almost full.
I let go of the overwhelming need to control and let goddess, the process of life and the law of probability take care of it.
I declutter and maintain my spaces in order to have clarity.
I intend affirmative and lasting transformation by incorporating the above beliefs into my life.
“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.” – Kahlil Gibran
Being saddled with doubt and worry is a detriment to your health. Both harangue with uncertainty. They stagnate forward motion. Doubt makes you uncertain and worry causes anxiety. Each stem from and exude fear.
Doubt crops up when you expect events and relationships to follow your plans yet fret they will not. As you enter a party, doubt undermines your confidence. You distrust people will like you. Doubt assumes and expects the worst. It surrounds itself with negative naysayers. To challenge the ebb and flow of life, emboldens cynicism. Furthermore, it feeds the bitterness of disbelief. Luckily, the antidote to doubt is faith.
Worry, on the other hand, harps on anxiety. Like doubt, worry craves a situation (like getting the job) will work out and makes you afraid it won’t. You agonize as you constantly forecast gloomy weather. Worry has you embedded to a specific result. You fixate on a particular outcome. This leads to dread. You fret and suffer with a trembling despair you will ever work again, for example. Worry takes over your common sense, logic and the laws of probability. To banish dark worry, respond to it with the light of hope and optimism.
Plenty of stress and misery comes from both the ambiguity of doubt and the anguish of worry. It is a vicious, unhappy and crazy cycle of doom and gloom. If you continue to delude yourself you can control anything but your own reactions, the more out of control you will feel. I know this powerlessness feels like defeat, but don’t allow doubt to raise your suspicious antennae and entangle your mind. Instead, accept life on its own terms and counter with your best self.
In place of rehashing the past and predicting a dismal future, await life with wonder. Live in the present moment.
Behind every fear you have, is a lack of love and faith.
I understand my doubt and get beyond my worry when I trust in love and my beliefs.
“As long as we are not living in harmony with nature and our constitution, we cannot expect ourselves to be really healed. Ayurveda gives us the means.” – David Frawley
