Re doing your bathroom can bring up a wealth of flaws and questions.

I thought I was more decisive and determined. We went through a major remodel and additions of walls, space and removal of everything when we first moved into this second home of ours when the chickadees were 2, 4 and 7. I made precise and certain decisions based on Martha Stewart colors and durable surfaces. Everything came down to sturdiness and easy to clean as well as pleasing to the turn of the century eye, heck, the millennium was approaching fast!!!

But times have changed and our kids packed their bags and flew out of the nest.  My designer/friend/general contractor and I saw every vanity available to purchase in OC yesterday. She is a huge help and great company but unfortunately, I am MORE confused about what I like now than when I went out on an excursion to narrow things down.

We scoured for hours looking for mirrors, faucets, hardware and toilets. We promised to check out the lighting store next time. And this is after spending days emailing each other wallpaper, vanity and sink sites. Now, I am changing my mind about the floor (which needs to go in first), the style and color palette. Do we reinvent the bathroom into a contemporary Zen/Spa look using only Organic materials? Or do we stick to the traditional, classic yet modern drama we envisioned with crystals and bling? Do we go black and white and a pop of color? Or do we step into a sea of earth tones? Do we keep two sinks or center one in the middle? And what do we do with the empty space? If we change it, will the rest of the house look out of place or dated? And who are we now?

That is the big question. How do we go from here? When we were young and moved into our first home, my husband and I put in sweat equity and risked design choices based on everything we hadn’t grown up with or had to live with because of price. We selected primary colors, contemporary lighting, outdoor Pier One furniture and custom designed carpet, wall coverings and couches.

And then the kids came and safety and practicality became an issue. Soon our couches, decor and hard surfaces had to be re-thought.

So, we lost the hand painted walls in teal and lavender on beige by MOI “wine room” with circular bamboo chairs, a hanging macrame coffee table and glazed brick floor and instead installed carpet, black and white and red Westie puppy wallpaper and brought in a bright fire engine red iron crib and a rocker/glider for the now “baby’s room.”

Our pink rose wallpapered guest room became our daughter’s room. My office became a primary color space for our son and the bathroom door that led to the pool area was forever locked up with caulk. Our floor to ceiling windows and mirrors became design centers for handprints. Our atrium full of ferns and birds became a place to run your big wheel over freshly planted flowers and Malibu lights. Instead of a ping pong table we added dining room furniture. Our water dispenser became a beam of delight to our son once he realized he could scurry over and let the water out with a push of a lever. Our pantry and all bottom drawers had to be re stocked with plastic ware or unbreakable cat food cans they could stack and play with underfoot while I cooked and cleaned up meals. Ah, but I digress…

Who are we now? Maybe we have reverted back to the ultra contemporary risqué duo again. Or what if we like the traditional with just a bit more adult posh, vibrant tones and sophistication?

My friend K. strongly suggested we add a shower to our powder room because “in a few years you will have hospitable beds in the living room and not be able to get up the stairs.”

I think we will cherish this time and process and not worry about that just yet.

A new dawn awaits us and there is more to design and remodeling than you think there is once you start envisioning the ‘new’ us living in it.

This first hurdle of figuring out what direction to take is much more crucial and will influence all other design choices in this, our fourth act.