When it feels surreal is when it is the most real. You are scared and in shock. You cannot in any way, shape or form wrap it around your head.
You feel raw. There is a certain blinding clarity. Yet you plead it isn’t true. Yet it is final, true and imminent.
You move under duress. You take small every day actions in a daze.
It is immediate and profound pain. It is death at the door. You may not shower or eat.
It is family and bonding. It is unraveling then reconstructing your world at a dull pace.
Things fall apart and it comes back together different.
It is dire – it is grim. You aspirate another breath with consciousness of your life. You have never been here before.
You perspire and you eat. You are blaming, you are furious.
You do, you love, you care and you wail.
And… Then… Time to be determined only by a dismal space that is lit by a tiny spark. Like a miracle of sorts…
The slightest help or good news is welcomed and appreciated. You open and you allow and receive again. You fill up on kindness.
You are a new lucid and a different sharp. You evaluate and go on, just another scar.
You become available for others, you hear and can listen without awful images crowding your brain.
You catch up on work and daily tasks. You relish the silence in small, teeny increments.
The quality of your life comes back yet in forever altered, layered hues.
Peace comes and goes.
May all the prayers be heard for only fate and God know what may happen next.