“Wisdom becomes knowledge when it becomes your personal experience.”-Yogi Bhajan
I didn’t really like kids. I didn’t want to be bothered with them. I was way too selfish to even think of having any. I had a career. I had a beautiful house. I was in love and loved being free to roam and being young and unfettered.
Then, I didn’t get my period for two months and I thought it was just the excitement of getting married and going off on a honeymoon and all that jazz. Somebody suggested I take an at home test because it never dawned on me I could be pregnant. OMG! Before OMG was a shortened version of the exclamation.
M was delighted, I was frightened but loved the attention. At three months pregnant, I had a dream that a soul arrived inside and this soul was going to teach me much. At four months pregnant, I was flying to NY to see ML for my yearly visit before it got too difficult or risky to fly. That’s when I realized, as I got up to go to the back restroom in an area essentially the size of a long room being held up like a pencil in the sky, that I was responsible for another human being and it’s life. My sense of carefreeness left and a sense of responsibility, liability and importance came to nest, resting on my shoulders. That was the moment, the very precise moment I went into fear of a whole new dimension. At five months, I was getting kicked heartily. I grew and made a lot of homemade apple pies and macaroni and cheese courses for some reason. I ate most of the servings myself. My dad came to live with us and all was well. I gained 50 pounds.
Then, it being the coldest and absolutely wettest winter ever, our pipes froze and blew open. The plumber came and fixed our water situation and the next day, I was at the hospital. After being induced, 28 hour waves of labor, my dear husband going and coming exhausted from the sheer emotional roller coaster, the doctor suggested for the baby’s sake, we should operate and take him out.
At 10:23 pm on Feb. 16, 1990, our first miracle was born. I knew from the minute I met him what his name was to me. I was smacked dab more in love than I ever thought I could be. And I realized then and there, my heart is infinite. I couldn’t wait to experience this again.
Happy Birthday, Son.