Y2 – Day 115 – Confidence

There is a lesson in the workbook section of The Course in Miracles which instructs us to trust in a Higher Power’s strength.

On our own lone support, we acquire fear-filled negative thoughts because our minds are relentless and undisciplined, knowing no quiet or rest.

Knowing something, anything, whatever you want to call it, as long as it is not us, is following some law of nature, logic, probability, science or benevolence – calms me down.

It is a relief to know we are not the center of the universe and that we do not run it either.  It is a relief to believe and be able to count on our own inner connection to whatever this great almighty is.  With this faith, we can face any trial or tribulation.

This is what spirituality and Higher Power(s) mean to me and I am content with this idea, most of the time.  Of course, I question, I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t.  Especially when I listen to the news.  But when I am in sync with having and owning and feeling I have a Higher Power (or HP as I lovingly refer to it), I feel my life flow, my positive attitudes grow and my heart and soul glow.  I like to stay on the beam of light and wear my rose colored glasses, most of the time.  And these are the best of times.

Alone, we are a mere drop in the ocean.  Together, with the power of adhesion, we stick to each other, creating a great source or body of water.

The Course repeatedly asks us to sink down into ourselves in meditation, releasing and denying the ego, the false self.  In its stead, find and grasp the peace, beauty and vitality we have within.  “Be still and know that I am God”.

Journeying within helps us live amongst all.  Simultaneously acknowledging our ego’s surrender and the light within us produces serenity.  In an instant, when you least expect it, a spark of clarity, a flash of reality assures you all is well, you can do it, you can be the drop of water connected to all the other drops of water, breathing in and out like the tide ebbs and recedes, in and out, into one giant wave of life, rising to the top of the foam, now sinking into the depths, being carried by some force beyond your control and your little droplet of understanding.  All the droplets of water are important and they all need to cohere in order to be one strong force that abides the natural laws of the flow of life and motion.

The clearer I see nature, the truer I feel our connection.  When I whimper, whine or debase myself in self-pity, I am reminded of my weaknesses.  When I pause and remember that the power behind me is always greater that the problem before me, I flourish, I gain confidence, I move forward.

As the Course states, “There is a place in you where there is perfect peace.  There is a place in you where nothing is impossible.”  In the realm of my imagination, I find the key to my soul’s infinite awareness and I write about it.

Why not use my writing as an exploratory tool?  I pick a topic and then take off.  Why not take inspiration from the ether and then allow it to thrive on the page?  Why not write with a little more authority, truth and purpose?  The only person stopping me is I.  May I gain confidence.  You know I am determined.

The meek might inherit the earth but it is the diligent, gentle souls that will build the Ark.  The humble person comprehends the complete uselessness of the ego to reach nirvana.  It is the shedding of the ego self that opens the pearly gates to your inner world named ‘heaven’.

It is healthy for me to know I am one with this Power, within this Power, part of the collected Power, beyond the limitations of my small mindedness and instead flowing into and with this Power.  Here, is how I know I can be the best possible me, connecting to this Power source, using my body as an instrument, my writing as the form of expression, receiving and transmitting on a higher frequency.

For me, true self confidence building paradoxically begins when I rely on, not deny, that a Higher Power of my own understanding, exists.

If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life.  With confidence, you have won even before you have started. – Cicero


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