day 9 – Food Issues

Weirdly, I sometimes end up eating calories I do not need or expect.  Food, just magically appears.  It pops into my mouth without explanation.  I chew and swallow.  I am accountable to no one but my undisciplined self.  I regret.  So, I plunk salty, sweet or scrumptious and forbidden provisions immediately, tout de suite, back into my own portal of self-defeated continuum in order to ease the self-inflicted guilt.

Sound familiar or am I the only one who has emotional issues with food?  I cannot control the world or others but since I am a control freak – here is where I can persuade my arm and hands to aid me in my own self-destructive ‘control’.

I can understand why they tell you not to weigh yourself everyday.  I can fluctuate five pounds on any given weekend or holiday end.  Bingeing is normal during stressful times, isn’t it?  Doesn’t everyone overeat between Halloween and New Year’s?

It can take me up to one year to lose those five to ten pounds (and that’s being diligent-with no cheating).

Is it my age?

What does my body want, need?  And… Am I willing to give it what suffices? Or just what my anxious greedy self desires?

I long to carve out time for self.  Not the self-indulgent self either.  The other one.  The self that works on improving, bettering, educating and staying actively involved in her own skin and life.

I intend to pause before I automatically search out, pick up and place Holiday goodies into my mouth this year.  I AM responsible for what my hands and fingers do and what they touch.  I AM in control. duh? What a concept.

Affirmation:  I support my transformation and wish myself the Best of Luck!!

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