As adults we have choices, usually three to be exact; to remain the same, to move forward or to react in some way. And our responses can be either childish, unproductive or mature and life affirming. If we remain the same, we become stagnant like water with no where to go and you know what that smells like?  Moving forward usually requires some level of forgiveness or letting go process so it is invariably slow but steady. Without the required marinating, you are just shoveling it under the rug and it will materialize somewhere in your psyche or body as pain. Now that I have thoroughly psychoanalyzed choice, here are the twelve points of maturity according to Al-Anon groups, which are geared to helping you become a healthy adult. Ask yourself the following questions and instead of getting down on yourself for what you still need to work on, I would like you to pat yourself on the back for those you can answer honestly and/or with an adult answer.

1.  Do you have a realistic view of your situation?

2. Do you allow others to live their lives? (I can just hear my children snickering)

3. Do you accept responsibility for yourself?

4. Are you critical of others?

5. Do you weigh out your thoughts and emotions before responding?

6. Do you speak up for yourself?

7. Are you kind to others?

8. Do you have balance in your life?

9. Would you describe yourself as conducting yourself with poise and refinement or behaving like a two year old brat most of the time?

10. Are you willing to look honestly at yourself?

11. Are you willing to change?

12. Do you know how to or to whom to turn to and ask for help?

Step back and wait for your answers or ponder them all week. Really think about them and analyze it. Ideally, meditate, then write your answers down freely.

let me know