The 5 Steps to Forgiveness

1. Acknowledge the facts.  Do not deny the truth or sweep it under a rug. Be aware of your feelings and reactions.  Admit and accept you are angry or hurt.
2. Be objective.  Try to view the entire episode as an observer, as if you were on a spaceship above, from a different vantage point.
3. Don’t dwell on it.  Understand forgiveness helps YOU move forward in a healthy manner and does not change the situation.  Resentments make us ill.  Use prayer, meditation, therapy, etc. to work through it.  Affirm, even if you do not mean it, “I hope the best for this person, I bless this situation, I wish them well and desire they have prosperity, health and love in their lives like I long to have for myself.”
4. When you are ready (and this can be complicated or simple, it can take a long time or an instant), choose to commit to letting it go.
5. Don’t talk about it anymore except to share your positive experience of how you were able to get through to the other side.  Move ahead and replace the ill will with love and gratitude for the lesson.

How do I know if I have forgiven?

If you see or visualize or hear the person’s name or event:

1. And You still have an uneasy, queasy feeling in your stomach or tightness in your throat – Review the 5 Steps again or you will be repeating the process through another situation or form anyway (law of the Universe).
2. And you feel nothing – You have forgiven and moved past it.
3. And you feel compassion or kindness towards them/it – you have forgiven PLUS learned a great deal.  You have evolved and it is rare you will have to repeat this particular lesson again (but don’t worry, there are many layers and inroads to the spiritual path and you will be challenged on another day).