Poise gives you the ability to keep information to yourself when needed. Like when it would divulge too much or it could hurt others.
When we criticize aloud, we make ourselves look miserly and it says something about how we feel about ourselves more than how we feel about the other person.
Your ego’s need to be right, to make yourself important, to be a know-it-all, the desire to always one-up or upstage others, will cause you to lose your composure and reveal facts maybe you should have kept to yourself. In many mysteries, including Agatha Christie’s, the inspector or crime solver leads their suspects precisely into this trap. The killer’s offense and guilt is tapped into surreptitiously by using his vanity, pride or weakness as a doorway to get him/her to talk and spill data, no matter how minute, that doesn’t quite fit or mesh with their story or whereabouts.
When your ego needs to be fed, it craves attention and validation. When you feed it, you have lost your poise or equilibrium.
The difference between your ego vs. your self-esteem or confidence is the need to have an audience, expecting applause vs. being self-assured and content for the sake of your own authentic true self or put another way, deception vs. integrity.
People create all sorts of drama and carry through all types of antics to get attention when all along, love, poise and courtesy are the most attractive forms of behavior.
Next time, pause and be poised when your ire is up. Keep your composure and check your attitude. Are you taking something personally?
“Be a gracious host and an even more grateful guest.” – Me