After watching the movie The Life of Pi, I had a vision.

“I desire to be as graceful, delicate and fast as a gazelle yet powerful and sexy like a tigress.”  I told my trainer, J.

J has rich, red, curly, long locks reminiscent of an Old World painting.  She is tall, lengthened, lean but strong like a Greek or Roman sculpture of a goddess.  She is the epitome of health and naturally fit.

No sooner did I confess my longing to be svelte yet bootylicious, J put me through some new and some old tough sets of moves.  Why did I confess my inner wishes?  Hahaha.

The reason why I have stuck to my sessions with her is not because I like to for the sake of exercise.  If that were the case, I wouldn’t need someone to make me accountable, now would I?  Yes, I need the guidance on how to use my body correctly as I perform each drill, but the accountability factor is just plain, priceless.

I honestly abhor to work out and only do it so my human body does not become atrophied.  The only way to look decent at my age without surgery is to move my tissues, blood and muscles (and eat way less than I want to).

As a child I enjoyed all sorts of play that I never realized was exercise and I love to walk/talk with a friend or stroll in nature, alone with my thoughts. Making a regular, formal stop at the gym and actually using my time wisely there is almost unheard of.  Is that machine taken? Oh, well, must be a sign I need to rest and go home instead.

That’s why I am grateful to J.  I enjoy her company and her consistent broad smile.  Her ever encouraging, positive and helpful cheering enriches me.  J makes the time go pleasantly by adding tidbits of inspiration, information or distraction between seriously and aggressively addressing my posture, alignment and counting repetitions.  Are you sure we are not at twenty yet?

J has never embarrassed, humiliated or done anything but laugh with me when I just can’t do one more lift, pull or push.  I do get fatigued but I am not disabled.

I might be improving slowly, but I meet with her faithfully, on the whole, biweekly. Showing up is a huge change from my usual if any gym behavior or attendance.  I am more of an erratic, emotional gym presence or an absentee.  Am I alone, here?

I am not driven, motivated or athletically inclined like everyone else, I guess.  I have to be inspired and kept interested with all sorts of enterprising entertainment.

I download music and most recently, a book on my I-pod, listen to Pandora on my I-Phone, have my headphones tuned to the TV channel if I am at the gym and sometimes I just space out.  That is what I must do on my own.  Having J on my team, I get good, orderly direction and a sweet attitude to boot.

I have had slave drivers whipping me and harassing me into admission, which is a complete and utter turn off.

I have had trainers oblivious to my mood, my form and my pain; distracted by every other person in the gym, not caring if I showed up or not.

So, I may not look like I am progressing much but I keep coming back. That in itself is an immense step in the right direction, a massive hurdle over my own stubbornly relentless and feeble mind that just wants me to stay home and lounge around. And I believe it has a lot to do with whom I miraculously ended up being paired up with.

It’s a good, healthy and natural fit just like J.

Here’s a shout out to all the gals helping other women!

Yes, I know she gets paid, but so did those other people.  I am not a dimwit – (well, sometimes) but I appreciate having an agreeable, amiable and sociable interaction during my workout.  It’s refreshing, comfortable and keeps me moving for at least that block of time.

Thank you, J.  I have learned to re-commit to myself and my workout, with my chest out, stomach and butt tightened, shoulders back, squeezing the blades, lower back arch and spine straight, pelvic bone neutral and no scrunching of shoulders up to my ears.  And then, I push, pull and lift in that position.  Will I ever be able to remember all that?

“Yes, someday, soon, your body will remember.” She said, gingerly with confidence and with a lilt in her voice, approximately ninety days ago.

I rolled my eyes and snickered, “I don’t know, you have no idea whom you are dealing with.”

Apparently, it was I whom had no idea.