The most powerful thought I can have is to believe in myself.

Is it tangible? No, but it can translate to wonderful successes!

I create the life I was gifted with an attitude of joy and thankfulness.

I release all toxic people, ideas and past events. Instead of I am not worthy, good enough, young enough, talented enough or strong, disciplined, etc. enough….

I say to myself, “Self, guess what? I am a talented, organized and enthusiastic woman who writes, gardens, cooks, paints, learns and teaches well. I am enough. I am worthy. I am gifted and use my talents to bring beauty, order and joy into the world.”

These words are invisible beliefs that can transform my world!

Especially during the holidays, when everyone seems to be rushed, busy and stressed, stay true to your gratitude diary. Few people are caroling around you but you can make the Christmas spirit come alive by jotting down in a journal or an app how much you appreciate; big and small things, inner and outer accomplishments, important and seemingly insignificant circumstances, friends and moments.

All you need to do is write a gratitude list. Write 5 things you are grateful for, everyday. It immediately adjusts your perspective. Do it for the next 10 days till Christmas and you won’t believe how quickly it can change your happy meter. You will want to make it a daily habit and continue it into 2017.

It can be about anything.

I am grateful for this new day. It is a blank slate. I can ingest, digest and share love and self care today.

I am grateful I don’t have a “fixed” schedule, per se and can follow my own timetable.

I am grateful for the awesome view from my bed, outside the balcony.

I am grateful for our newer, beachy, whitewashed floors that feel so good on my feet and are so easy to clean.

I am so grateful for my blog my son gifted me (back in Dec 24th of 2011) so I can just write whatever, any way I want to.

“I’m going to make everything around me more beautiful. That will be my life.”

– Elise de Wolfe, a famous designer/decorator

“Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers. Plant your own garden and decorate your soul.” 

-Mario Quintana

“…in demanding attention from someone else, you are giving away pieces of yourself that are too valuable to lose.” – Iyanla Vanzant

“Authentic self listens to the ‘voice’ which supplies all the imagination. – me

“It’s in the grey area extremes and lows where light and dark become whole.” – me

Writing down my soul is an important spiritual practice because it brings me closer to my inspiration, my authentic self. It helps me clarify, see, believe in my power and in my gifts.

Words, language, syntax and tone are in my bones.

In detachment, you can observe and respond rather than react. You can watch your own thoughts and decide to feel and behave in an appropriate manner. By focusing on you, and not what is external, you can be the calm in the storm. You can produce and be while others are falling apart and unravelling. Screaming, shouting or overreacting is a sure sign of taking everything personally and attaching yourself like a barnacle to the rock that plummets and sinks into the deep sea.

I take in a slow breath, bring it to the belly and then release it with an audible sigh. After the pause of an inhale, exhale, I can become emotionally independent, unhooking from the fishing line of a made up story in my head.

I know a wise woman who takes care of herself and her home like precious jewels without being conceited in the least or overly concerned with her housekeeping. She is a joy to be around, refusing to submit to bitterness or negative impulses. She knows what is hers and what is not, taking responsibility for her own actions and words, never apologizing for another’s comport.

She teaches me to make every minute count. I learn to uncover my inner resources. Transforming all my fears, flaws and unhelpful attributes into blooms of flowers, happy silver linings, lessons learned, positive statements and gratitudes gives me courage and strength not fanciful weaknesses as the world would have you believe. Try it sometime.

My attitude and perspective makes all the difference.

I am most comfortable when I detach from outside issues and just focus on my own behavior, demeanor and thinking.

A commitment to self and focus on self has to happen. I need to keep my side of the street clean and not take things personally.

Waking up with my doggie and a cup of java is one of my favorite times of the day. I love the morning and the hope of it being brilliant.

When I prepare my husband’s dinner and he walks through the door, that is another special time of day.

A wise, supportive, happy woman told me that our relationships need to fill us up.

“Real peace is always unshakeable… Bliss is unchanged by gain or loss.” – Yogi Bhajan

If you were a tree, which branches would be Happy?

Which of your branches would be Sad?

For me, I am joyful when I recognize and have a sense of humor. Who doesn’t love the release of laughter? When I give, I receive, so that makes me feel good too. I have a sunnier disposition when I am grateful.

The other side of the coin shows up mainly as expectations. I disappoint myself with my procrastinating, lazy ways. My scattered brain seems so disorganized and that frustrates me. When I am in fear, which is nearly all the time, I feel like I cannot rest, like my dog, Cindi, one eye open waiting for the next person to walk by so she can bark at them.

I know one thing. Becoming too attached to outcome, being hooked into the external, basing my happiness on others instead of myself, doesn’t work. Finding the worthiness to be okay with doing something for myself, has taken a long time to grasp.

Something startled me on Nov. 8th.

In shock, terror and horror, I began to panic and grieve.

I was in genuine disgust and felt absolutely hopeless and so very cynical.

The sky was falling. The apocalypse was surely in full swing.

Then I was angry, frightened. I lashed out on FB.

All I saw was hatred and old white men, young blond women. It was FOX news running on a loop on every channel in my night sweats.

Now, I am in action and solution.

But, it takes what it takes and it is what it is and it needs to look the way it needs to look in order for anyone to process surprise, death, disappointment and even success!

I can’t say that this was a linear procedure. I have been up and down and all around. Nothing worthwhile is easy.

Here is what I found out.

Here are My 10 steps to feeling like I am in the NOW again, and made it out alive!

Feel free to use this next time you are in an emotional quandary or existential jam.

1. Allow yourself time, whatever it takes. There is no timeline and people who say “get over it already” are probably shallow and intolerant, never mind clueless to your pain.
2. Do not isolate. Speak to others, argue, commiserate, just allow yourself to get it out.
3. Write about it and maybe throw away your ranting.
4. Eventually, open up, don’t close down and in. Be willing to open ever so slightly. Invite the light to shine on your darkness.
5. Listen. Watch. Listen. Evaluate. Rant some more. Cry.
6. Know yourself. Come back to center. How am I going to be able to go on? I meditated before, during and after – this helped me get to the miracle part! Have a daily sit down. It is never too late to contemplate your existence and place in this world and beyond.
7. Ok. Acceptance is key. Now what? Get back to your core values and your life instead about obsessing on the loss.
8. Find the silver lining, the lesson learned, the new action plan or how you are going to fit in in the new reality without censoring, diminishing, conceding, compromising, conforming, constricting or sacrificing your true spiritual or worldly self. Be clear!!!! This is a turning point – do not skip!!!!!! It’s where we find out what we are made of and who we really want to grow into.
9. Get into action. Find support. Let what doesn’t belong to you take care of itself and let it go so you can move forward.
10. That being said, moving forward and through (not around, bypassing it or half way) any major disaster, tragedy or unforeseen circumstance takes courage, willingness and enough humility to:

a) Ask for help.

b) Find a spiritual solution that connects you to your source and…

c) Finally, creating alchemy. Transform into your new, empowered, emboldened, confident self by finding a way to help others, spinning it into fine threaded gold, for all who want to participate in weaving the cloth into an ever evolving tapestry of hope, a wellspring of love, a glorious fabric of joy and a tender hearted look at the world around us.

The fun part is – you are never going to guess what all of this is going to look like or how it will show up. It is never what, when or how we expect it to appear but it always secretly, instantaneously or over time emerging as the best scenario, for the highest good if you have taken the ten steps seriously. I can guarantee this.

Your best self (the one you would be proud to show up at the gates of heaven with) shows up during difficult times with a small investment in introspection which admittedly takes time and substance.

But your worst self “wins” if you rely on your HUGE, self-centered, bigly (yup, that is a word now) victim sized ego.

Dear Goddess, Creative Intelligence, Divine Oneness:

Please help all those souls that have passed because of evil intentions and doings. Please help with the pain inflicted on their families and the earth’s psyche. May the blood let that runneth over be transformed into higher good.

Please help evil persons to have doubts and misgivings about their behavior. Please help them see the light and love in order to put down their swords of hate.

Please help me be a source of goodness, a channel of wisdom or faith. Please restore my belief in humanity. Please help me have the courage to point out the distasteful without fear or care of recrimination. Please help me protect myself from the hopelessness, anger and apathy.

Thank you, Goddess, thank you for listening.

It’s not political anymore. It is a spiritual fight – In the least dogmatic way possible. It is the ultimate good vs. evil. This is real.

Interestingly enough, it started raining. As I just typed that last line.

Oh how rain and tears wash away the sound of low vibrations and beg the Gods that watch over us for mercy and relief.

“Courage is a love affair with the unknown.” – OSHO