A Checklist for Evaluating our Maturity

A Checklist for Evaluating our Maturity from millions of al-anon members:

The difficulties of coping with another are much more effectively met when we ourselves reflect attitudes of mature adults.

A mature adult is one who:

1) Does not automatically resent criticism, realizing it may contain a suggestion for self-improvement.

2) Knows self pity is futile and childish– a way of placing the blame for disappointments on others.

3) Does not readily experience a loss of temper or “fly off the handle” abouut trifles.

4) Keeps calm in emergencies and deals with them in a logical, reasonable fashion.

5) Accepts responsibility without blaming others when things go wrong.

6) Accepts reasonable delays without impatience, realizing that some adjustment for the convenience of others is necessary.

7) Is a good loser, accepting defeat and disappointment without complaint or ill temper.

8) Does not worry unduly about things that can’t be changed.

9) Doesn’t boast or “show off” when praised or complimented, accepts it with grace, appreciation and without false modesty.

10) Applauds others’ achievements with sincere goodwill.

11) Rejoices in the good fortune and success of others, having outgrown petty jealousy and envy.

12) Listens courteously to the opinions of others even when they hold opposing views; does not enter into hostile argument.

13) Doesn’t find fault with “every little thing” or criticize people who do things differently.

14) Makes reasonable plans and tries to carry them out in an orderly fashion; does not do things on the spur of the moment without due consideration.

15) Shows spiritual maturity by–

• accepting the existence of a Higher Power and recognizing the importance of this power in life.

• realizing each person is a part of mankind as a whole and has much to give: that each of us has an obligation to share with others the gifts that have been bestowed upon us.

• obeying the spirit of the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” “

Happy Halloween 2023

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there…dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before” – Edgar Allan Poe

We are currently watching a series on Netflix that is super mysterious, gory and sci fi/time travel themed called Bodies and its super, uber psych tv viewing for me. Perfect for Halloween!!

Lessons in Chemistry

This Goddess book club novel we read last month was conceived and penned by Bonnie Garmus who was inspired by her mom, a nurse who became a housewife in the 1960’s. Elizabeth Zott is a chemist when women scientists were unheard of and marrying and settling down with kids was still as always during patriarchal societies, the mistaken yet eventual goal of every female.

There were so many themes in this one book; autism, the metaphor of rowing as a team, misogyny, the ability for a woman to define her own future, sexual assault and its traumatic consequences, discrimination, the arrival of daytime television, death and honesty to name a few.

It was a fast paced read because of its superb sarcastic and humorous writing and its original and imaginative use of point of views even from a dog who won my heart. I had never read anything so powerful yet wholesome and nurturing.

If you haven’t read it yet, no worries, it continues to hold its place on the NYTimes bestseller list and is now adapted into a series on Apple Plus TV.

Ken Follet

I first encountered this author’s bestseller, A World Without End, in a used bookstore ensconced in the Lake Arrowhead library. The back cover intrigued me with its content description. Moreover, the 1000 page tome was a steal at fifty cents. It would be years before I actually opened it up and read it. It took me a good year since I left it up in the mountain treehouse and only read it when I stayed there.

Wowza! This epic tale set in the 14th century is a historical novel with events like the Black Death, start of the Hundred Years War and peasant uprisings. Apart from that it portrays how people lived, worked, farmed, ate and fought. It’s a memorable story set in another time with a cast of characters, events and plots intertwined with an authentic view of the human condition in that era.

After finishing it, I looked up the author and found out I read the second in a series, so of course I purchased the first book, The Pillars of the Earth, and just turned the last page, finally, this weekend. Since we moved to a more remote area in the San Bernardino Mountain Range, it resided by my nightstand up at Sunset Ridge, our new to us, mountain home and snowmeggedon of 2023 prevented me from making it up the hill for around 9 weeks last winter. Hence, between the move, the sale of the cabin, and the weather, it took me about one and half years to finish this almost 1000 page book as well.

I am as deeply satisfied and was as entertained with this historical novel as I was with the afore mentioned title ( the 2nd in the series). These stories stand alone but it would have been helpful to have read them in order. Nonetheless, this incredible saga takes place in 12th century England wherein the building of a cathedral and all its woes, wars, architectual designs and labor troubles are depicted in the mythical town of Knightsbridge. Some real-life moments in history include King Stephen’s reign and the battle of Lincoln and the tragic murder of Thomas Becket, the archbishop of Canterbury. Like most historical novels, there’s romance among protagonists and evil villains of the worst kind.

Both books reminded me of the times we live in still with better plumbing, medical/technical modern advances and grooming habits but the same brutality of war, hateful factions vying for power, twists of fate and civilian suffering.

I am eager to read the next in the Kingsbridge series, A Column of Fire, considered more of a thriller set in the English 16th century, wherein the power shifts not between religion and monarchy with the masses caught in the middle and taking sides but the factual divide between the Catholics and Protestants. Taking place during Queen Elizabeth’s reign, surely this will be another fascinating read.

I am ordering the heavy tome tomorrow! Watch for my review in another year!!LOL!

Clean, Clear and Crisp

Clearing mountain fog covered the valley below, a fluffy blanket thrown carelessly into the air, softly landing into a misty sea of sky and horizontal waves.

From the ridges of the hills, the haze shifted, sinking and sheltering the lowlands with wisps of vapor, criss-crossing hues of greys and off- whites.

Eventually, sunrise crept over the pinnacles and the sun’s fate today was to light up the upper atmosphere in celestial blue, a blank canvas to behold.

In the depths of the creviced, steep shears of granite and conifers where compacted sediment, was layered and settled, both scrub and succulent shared life with the deer, the bear, the critters, the fowl and the dreaded, California black rattlesnake.

Lucky for me, the oak leaves and pine needles now shimmered with their dew and the magic of the day was set in motion with gratitude. I watched to admire, felt festive and joyous and acknowledged this bright new day as sacred.

-CBS

Vamping

Interestingly enough there are several definitions for vamp and…

If to vamp as a verb means to improvise then that is exactly what this blog has always been about.

The full moon eclipse will be tomorrow – so it’s time (if you haven’t already) to get rid of what doesn’t serve us anymore and bring in the new. This could mean in the realm of relationships, jobs, objects or even behaviors. This may happen even if you don’t want it to, so astrology says “go with the flow”.

For my part, I am giving up certain ideals, expectations and beliefs.

And, I deserve to bring in more movement, discipline and writing practice because I realize that’s what I want to usher in and encourage in myself.

Let the re-programming begin.
Tomorrow is the eclipse. Let go of whatever is bogging you down with no reservations or much ado and invite a new habit, career, friend or place to gracefully enter into your life.

re-vamping

I am finally feeling like myself after covid. I had no idea how much trauma we had all been through with politics and misinformation and a pandemic! Personally, I thought it was right and just to throw up my hands sometimes. Mostly, though, I ranted out loud or internally. My guts felt like they were just scrambled half the time and literally I can see now how my intestines if you could have seen them, were twisted and clogged, occasionally on the verge of bursting out of my skin because I could no longer retain my anger, my despair and my outrage.

Then, I succumbed to depression and loneliness and isolated within my own valley of melancholy.

I let my hair, my weight and my interests go, in style. It was my superficial way of responding in kind to the onslaught of meanness and hopelessness. My smile vanished. Although you would see it on zoom, fake and with extreme effort. I tried so hard to stay positive. I suppressed years of personal trauma and unresolved issues into one presidential race and term that was out to destroy us and has cracked open all the wounds for all of us to see.

STAT we need healing. STAT.

And then, I did some spiritual work. I went deep. Past experiences and into changing my perspective, slowly. I thought I had done this work before but there were new, hidden cuts, stabs and lesions attached to my very soul body. I visited them and then in shock, withdrew. I would step a little closer and then back off. I would process and then deny their existence. The dance of fire and ash and pain. The dark night.

But a survivor fights for their life, a warrior goddess gets through it. Never alone but by myself. No one can do this work for you. Like recovery, you must find the place where you realize you are responsible and no one else, for your metamorphosis. Ultimately, it came down to love, acceptance and compassion, for me. A new level of identity.

And then, I took notice of my outsides for what seemed as if it was the first time. By finding power in the journey through, I expect more of myself now.

No Apology

“Your Body Is Not an Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor is a profound and essential masterpiece that defies societal norms, challenges ingrained prejudices, and celebrates the revolutionary concept of self-love and body positivity. This book is a rallying cry for a world that has long been burdened by unrealistic beauty standards and damaging perceptions of self-worth.

From the very first page, Taylor’s words radiate with an authenticity that demands attention. Her writing style embraces vulnerability and empowerment. Readers immediately can relate. Taylor unpacks the damaging effects of body shaming, racism, ableism, and other forms of systemic oppression.

The heart of “Your Body Is Not an Apology” lies in its unwavering advocacy for radical self-acceptance. Taylor eloquently argues that our bodies are not objects of shame, but vessels of power, deserving of respect and love. By deconstructing the deeply entrenched belief systems that perpetuate discrimination and self-loathing, she guides readers towards a path of healing and self-discovery.

She warns we must dismantle oppressive systems. She delves into the ways in which various forms of discrimination intersect and create a devastating impact on marginalized individuals. Her inclusive perspective ensures that no one is left behind in the quest for self-liberation.

Throughout the book, Taylor challenges readers to question their own biases, reevaluate societal norms, and actively engage in the work of tearing down harmful ideologies. Her calls to action are both inspiring and practical, offering a roadmap for personal growth and societal change. The exercises, reflections, and journal prompts sprinkled throughout the book encourage readers to embark on a radical journey of self-discovery.

“Your Body Is Not an Apology” is not just a book; it’s a movement, a call to arms, and a beacon of hope for a world in desperate need of radical change. Sonya Renee Taylor’s eloquence, insight, and compassion shine through every page, inviting readers to embrace their bodies, challenge oppressive systems, and become agents of transformation.

In a world that often thrives on division and insecurity, “Your Body Is Not an Apology” emerges as a radiant source of empowerment and liberation. It serves as a testament to the power of self-love, the resilience of the human spirit, and the potential for collective change. This book is an essential addition to any bookshelf, a reminder that our bodies are vessels of strength and our voices instruments of change.

The Imperative Virtues of Honesty, Responsibility, and Fairness in a President

After the last indictment yesterday of 45 – I had to say something – anything – so I wouldn’t feel so frustrated.

The role of a president is one of great responsibility and influence. As the highest office in a nation, a president wields significant power and has the ability to shape the course of a country’s future. In such a position, it is essential that a president embodies qualities of honesty, responsibility, and fairness, rather than exhibiting traits of deception, selfishness, power-hunger, vengeance, or malice. This article explores why these virtues are crucial in a president and how they contribute to a thriving and harmonious society.

  1. Honesty: Honesty is the foundation of trust, and trust is vital for any leader. When a president is honest, they establish an open and transparent relationship with the people they serve. Honest leaders are forthright about their actions, intentions, and challenges they face. They admit mistakes and take responsibility for them, showing humility and a commitment to learning and growing.

In contrast, a dishonest president erodes trust, undermines democracy, and creates an atmosphere of uncertainty. Deception damages relationships between the government and its citizens, causing skepticism and cynicism among the public.

  1. Responsibility: A responsible president understands the weight of their decisions and takes accountability for the consequences of their actions. They prioritize the well-being of the nation and its citizens over personal interests. Responsible leaders listen to the advice of experts, consider diverse perspectives, and make informed and thoughtful choices.

On the other hand, a selfish president places personal gain above the nation’s welfare. Such leaders might use their power for personal enrichment or manipulate their position to serve their own agenda, neglecting the needs of the people they represent.

  1. Fairness: Fairness ensures that a president treats all citizens equitably, regardless of their background, race, gender, or social status. A fair leader seeks to bridge divides and foster inclusivity within society. They work to address systemic inequalities and strive for a just and compassionate society where every individual has equal opportunities to thrive.

A president driven by vengeance or malice can sow discord and division. They might abuse their power to punish perceived enemies or discriminate against certain groups, further fragmenting the nation and hindering progress.

Conclusion:

A president holds a position of immense responsibility, shaping the trajectory of a nation and the lives of its people. It is paramount that a president embodies honesty, responsibility, and fairness rather than succumbing to the vices of dishonesty, selfishness, power-hunger, vengeance, or malice.

A leader who embraces these virtues fosters a sense of trust, transparency, and unity within the nation. They become a role model for citizens, inspiring them to act with integrity and compassion. An honest, responsible, and fair president ensures that the government serves the people, upholding democratic values and safeguarding the rights and liberties of all citizens.

As individuals, it is essential to hold our leaders accountable for their actions and demand these virtues in our presidents. By doing so, we can contribute to a stronger and more prosperous society where honesty, responsibility, and fairness prevail, and where our leaders work diligently to build a better future for everyone.

Regenerate

Good Goddess Reads

As I prepared and researched for Goddess Initiation 101, I re-read a few books and discovered some new texts that were of interest.

I resurrected Sierra Bender’s acclaimed Goddess to the Core and found all my flags and highlights still worthy of re-reading, plus. This book was invaluable to me back in 2010 when I was writing the script and sequence for my final. Not only did we hand in a lesson plan with full details but also had to give the lesson to our peers in the class. It was harrowing but exciting too! I added an essential oil blend and picked some Cure music to give it a bit of oomph. I remember practicing and practicing in front of whoever would watch me so I could feel less intimidated and memorize the sequencing and pose instructions.

Of course without The Body is not an Apology by Sonja Renee Taylor, I wouldn’t have found my rage and insulted self nor the deep, radical self love we all deserve and I needed to even think of creating this course online. Invariably, she prompted me to read plenty of books that delve into colonization and ingrained systems that degrade others. This book is even on my audible and we have a small group of women that study it, paragraph by paragraph.

These two books were vital in my structuring and the why of the course; Holding Space by Amanda Dobra Hope – a guide to supporting others while remembering to take care of yourself first and The Book of Ceremony by Sandra Ingerman – Shamanic wisdom for invoking the sacred in everyday life.

If you are interested in knowing more about these great goddess reads, leave a comment below.