Y4 – Day 40 – Rights of Humans

Here are the next twelve rights from Charles Whitfield’s observations and beliefs.

I have the right to:

13. Make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

14. Expect honesty from others.

15. All of my feelings.

16. Be angry at someone I love.

17. Be uniquely me, without feeling that I’m not good enough.

18. Feel scared and to say, “I’m afraid.”

19. Experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame.

20. Make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or any reason that I choose.

21. Change my mind at any time.

22. Be happy.

23. Stability, i.e., “roots” and stable healthy relationships of my choice.

Oh and I love this one as I sit in our new

spangled office with our snoring dog at my feet.

24. My own personal space and time needs.

Y4 – Day 39 – These are Our Rights

I am in the process of reading an ancient ( ok, just from1993 ) self help book written by Charles Whitfield, M.D. All of his advice was gathered from patients and therapy groups he facilitated. The wisdom still holds true today. The title of the book is Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self. He is famous for helping people; finding and healing their inner child, working with co-dependents and supporting recovery.

One idea I wanted to share with you was his personal bill of rights he compiled. “Healthy boundaries can help us formulate our rights, and in a reciprocal fashion, knowing that we have these rights can strengthen our boundaries” he notes.

There are 36 rights he believes every human being has a right to. I will share the first 12 today, followed by twelve more tomorrow and the next day. Stay tuned and see if you OWN any of these already.

If you are under twenty six or so, you probably think this is silly, but for us older folks, who were not treated special or held in high regard, this bill of rights needs to be stated; it probably will resonate and possibly rock your world.

I have the right to:

  1. Have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.
  2. Discover and know my Child Within.
  3. Grieve over what I didn’t get that I needed or what I got that I didn’t need or want.
  4. Follow my own values and standards.
  5. Recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.
  6. Say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.
  7. Dignity and respect.
  8. Make decisions.
  9. Determine and Honor my own priorities.
  10. Have my needs and wants respected by others.
  11. Terminate conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
  12. Not be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings or problems.

Y4 – Day 38 – Artsy Petite Chocolates

How can you not gain weight?

IMG_0013The top row, left to right, are all dark chocolates. Under that, a roasted series filled with different nut pralines and salted caramel. The orange row is spicy, my favorite one was the peppercorn. The green row is herbal; mint, thyme, verbena and star anise/fennel. The pink row is floral; orange blossom, rose and lavender. The buttercream hued row, second to last, is citrus (or should I say was). Orange, grapefruit, yuzu and bergamot sound like essential oils but inside chocolate they are tangy and intoxicating. And the last row, is fruity: pineapple, blueberry, raspberry and mango nectars in smooth ganaches.

The middle heart is a special Valentine filled with supposedly salted caramel coulis. Mmmm.

Y4 – Day 37 – Happy Birthday My Son

To be 26 on 2/16/2016. Very Lucky and Happy Date!

There never before was a time when I felt such a vast opening of my heart, like this very day, twenty six years ago, laying eyes on my first born. It is because of him, we just had to have more children and I truly adore and love each one with all of my heart and soul which I now know is infinite.

But when M was born, it was the first time, and I suddenly cared about everything profoundly. In an instant, windows and doors were flung wide open and streams of color and light entered my psyche as I realized in a vivid flash what a miracle and mystery love and life was.

Thank you M, M, J, V and E for being my most awesomest family!

 

Y4 – Day 34 – Mountain Vignette

I love the look of rustic with modern or traditional with rugged textures, industrial chic mixed in with classic curves, or retro farmhouse with contemporary slick colors. It is curious what will catch your eye and how we all feel differently about beauty. It is unique to bring yourself into your environment. I especially felt validated when I saw the frames inside the frames on the raw hewed wooden vertical log siding. I had wanted to use bare frames of different sizes and colors on a partial wall and I am even more determined to accomplish that. Notice the cute galvanized bucket hanging from the back handlebars of this two seater. The ironwork is painted a pure white and contrasts starkly like snow against the natural, dark wooded cabin.

IMG_0690At the same cute spot filled with themed, 1910-1920 style cabins among landscaped vignettes up in Skyforest, (wherein we ate scrumptious pizza at Lou and Eddie’s), I saw this sign outside on the patio and had to share it. C’mon, it is hysterical!!

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Y4 – Day 33 – Putting Pen/Brush to….

It’s been tough to keep up with the writing while I am so involved with everyday life and now, my new/old/revived passion of painting, decorating and organizing it all. I must say that all the political pundit talking and debates and sports helps me feel like painting, right in front of the television, so there is a drop cloth in the den and paint cans, jars, projects in progress and art paraphernalia strewn around and you have to walk pretty carefully to get to the couch or back door.

When I write, I have papers, pens, books and possible ideas scribbled on pieces of paper all over the place, and under and behind me. But heck, my hands are strained from holding paint brushes ( I can hardly hold a saucepan or pot anymore) and my neck hurts from painting in awkward positions, so I guess I have no other choice but to tap, tap, tap away on my laptop and for some reason, holding a pen to my journal doesn’t hurt either.

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Y4 – Day 32 – Nature has it Way

I walk out to the driveway to say goodby to my walking buddy, M, and lo and behold, another gift for Valentines’s – this time, from nature, which has had its way and regardless of neglect and being run over, a pot of petite, lemony jonquils bloomed.IMG_0703

 

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And, right now, these amazing, huge white flowered tall and bushy trees everywhere!!!!

I have no idea what they are but I am sure they will be messy, when the flowers fall and the leaves furl out.

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Y4 – Day 31 – Another Early Valentine Gift

At the rate I am receiving Valentine presents, I cant believe there’s anything left for Sunday, the real St. Valentine’s Day.

Arriving today, I am gazing at Sterling Charm Roses. My favorites are the lavender Ocean Song roses among the equally gorgeous, bright pinky, fuchsia Gigi roses and thorny blue thistles. The bouquet is Stunning, just stunning. The petals are tightly wrapped up in a bud but with each day, they will open and I will admire them, as they stand tall and elegantly by our front door.

The scent of roses greets me right away and puts a smile on my face as I catch a glimpse of myself reflected in the entry mirror along with wild, passionate hues of the velvety petaled flowers of love.

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